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What else can airlines charge us for?
An American Airlines aircraft takes off from the Miami International Airport in Miami.
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Kai Ryssdal: And now, ladies and gentlemen, it has come to this. American Airlines says economy-class passengers on its domestic flights are going to have to pay to stay warm. Starting May 1st -- just in time for the summer rush -- a pillow and blanket set will be available for 8 bucks. So how many more formerly free luxuries do you suppose airlines can possibly charge for? The Marketplace Players say, oh, lots more.
RICO GAGLIANO: Good afternoon, everybody, this is your captain speaking. We've reached our cruising altitude. Just want to give you a quick rundown of the amenities available for purchase on this flight.
In a few minutes we'll be cutting off the supply of oxygen in the economy cabin. Additional oxygen can be purchased for a nickel per minute, just slip your coins into the slot in the armrest. Exact change is required. If you need change, our attendants will provide it to you, for an additional fee of $1 per nickel.
In about an hour, we'll be flying over the Grand Canyon, and you can take a look by inserting a $5 bill in the slot beside your window. The window shade will pop up for exactly 23 seconds.
Thirty dollars to use the restroom -- $10 a flush. And when you get back to your seat our attendants will be happy to recline it for you -- for $57. Or, for $5 they'll punch you in the head so hard you'll black out for the whole flight.
That's about it. Now just sit back, relax and enjoy the next two hours. At that point passengers who refuse to pay our $200 completion fee will be thrown off the plane 36,000 feet above Wichita, while the rest of us continue on to New York.
Thanks again for traveling with us. We know you have a lot of choices when flying, and they're all bad, so shut up.
RYSSDAL: Our own Rico Gagliano wrote, produced, directed and starred for the Marketplace Players today.
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I thought Rico Gagliano's bit was so funny, I had to put put a video with it. No offense to SW Airlines. 8-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDhXtJ6nNpI
Thanks for the laugh! I was reminded of a puckish flight attendant on a flight I took about a year ago who added at the end of the safety spiel, "And if there's any way we can assist you, just write it down on a paper napkin and pass it to a member of the crew as you exit the plane."
I don't mean to offend anyone,(and I'm sure this would defenitly offend) but how come they don't have a weight limit for people...... then charge for those over the limit!! I'm sure they've thought of it but can't find a way to do it. I know it offends me when there is a heavy person in my aisle and I get squished.. (I'm 140lbs) and I deserve to have all the space they give me..,,;o)
Interesting piece and very humorous. However, let’s all recognize that the airline industry has more competition now than ever before since deregulation. The pricing ability of the airlines is tilted very much in favor of the consumer and the margin for the airlines is negative. Most of the established airlines have historically offered a packaged product so to speak. The no frills airlines do not have the service compared to the established or legacy carriers because their structure and product pricing is different. So what you are seeing is the legacy carriers unpackaging their product to give the consumer a choice on what they want to pay. Yes, the airline would offer a pillow and blanket for $8, however, you have a choice, and you can choose to pay or not to pay. Previously, you paid regardless if you consume the pillow and blanket. So, while we laugh at the legacy carriers while they are adjusting their business models to compete in today’s market environment, remember, the no frills airlines have this model in their structure already.
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