Peter Post of the Emily Post Institute offers the following hints on minding your money manners:
1. Don’t ask how much it cost, or how much someone earns. These things are still considered private, even in this age of oversharing.
2. Muffle your urge to brag about financial matters. Even if you just landed a great job, or made a killing in the stock market, going on and on about your good luck turns what should be a social interaction into a potentially competitive game of “How much are you worth?”
3. Don’t play the big shot. Healthy adult relationships are based on reciprocity. In most cases, it’s inappropriate to buy expensive presents for people who can’t reciprocate.
4. It’s OK to say no when asked for a loan—and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. “You’re not the one who created the negative situation,” Post said. “They did, by asking you for money.”
5. Don’t get into public snits over money. Yes, your sister-in-law is rude to constantly ask how much you pay for everything. No, your mother shouldn’t have brought up the loan she made you (and that you paid off) in front of gossipy Aunt Jean. Change the subject and move on, no matter how much you want to make a scene, and consider a having a private conversation later with the offender.
Tune into Marketplace Money this weekend for more on the new rules of money etiquette.
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