Download
HTML Embed
HTML EMBED
Click to Copy
Marketplace

The GM strike could be almost over

Oct 17, 2019

Latest Episodes

Download
HTML Embed
HTML EMBED
Click to Copy
This Is Uncomfortable
Download
HTML Embed
HTML EMBED
Click to Copy
Marketplace Morning Report
Download
HTML Embed
HTML EMBED
Click to Copy
Marketplace Morning Report
Download
HTML Embed
HTML EMBED
Click to Copy
Marketplace Morning Report
Download
HTML Embed
HTML EMBED
Click to Copy
Download
HTML Embed
HTML EMBED
Click to Copy
Download
HTML Embed
HTML EMBED
Click to Copy
Marketplace Morning Report
Download
HTML Embed
HTML EMBED
Click to Copy
Marketplace Morning Report
Download
HTML Embed
HTML EMBED
Click to Copy
Marketplace Morning Report
Download
HTML Embed
HTML EMBED
Click to Copy

Your tax limericks

Tess Vigeland Mar 16, 2012
Share Now on:
Limericks about taxes...if that's not an Irish-American combo, what is?
Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

We asked you for your tax-related limericks, and boy did you come through. So we invited our residence limerist, David “Dr. Goose” Lefkovits on the show to celebrate your tax verse. Here are some of our favorites:

Dear folks at the Fed IRS,
Your rules and your regs are a mess.
You’re unfair to the poor.
Middle class? Even more.
So beware, cuz I know your address.
–Madeleine Begun Kane, Bayside Queens, N.Y.

Said the one percent, “What does it take,
To keep ALL the money we make?
It’s just so unfair,
We want more than our share.
Tell the ninety-nine to go eat (some)cake!”
–Pam Fitzer, Plymouth, Wis.

While it’s true that I don’t have descendants
And it’s not covered in the amendments
I don’t hire babysitters
But I buy lots of litter
So I’m claiming my cats as dependents
Filing forms with his dot com’s tax coaching.
–Andrew Neal, Chapel Hill, N.C.

A fellow found April approaching
And the due date for taxes encroaching
On his springtime esprit
When he knew he should be
Filing forms with his dot com’s tax coaching.

–Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, Wis.

To suggest higher taxes? That’s treason!
Yet the deficits climb beyond reason
Still the bridges well build
And the toilets well guild
If we find out whose palms to be greasin’.
–Michael Stephens, Carmel, Ind.

We even got a Tweet-length limerick:

2 raze public funds it is better
The I.R.S. thinks 2 tax Twitter
Now a fee 4 each word Is so truly absurd
But E-Z 2 charge 4 each letter
–Jim Johnson, Muskegon, Mich.

Lastly, our own senior producer, Irishman Paddy Hirsch took a shot at it:

On Sunday, I have to do taxes.
But Saturday’s the feast of St. Patricks!
If I’m still drunk when I file
I’ll end up in jail
Could you suggest a hangover prophylaxis?

If you’re a member of your local public radio station, we thank you — because your support helps those stations keep programs like Marketplace on the air.  But for Marketplace to continue to grow, we need additional investment from those who care most about what we do: superfans like you.

Your donation — as little as $5 — helps us create more content that matters to you and your community, and to reach more people where they are – whether that’s radio, podcasts or online.

When you contribute directly to Marketplace, you become a partner in that mission: someone who understands that when we all get smarter, everybody wins.

Check Your Balance ™️
Check Your Balance ™️
Personal finance from Marketplace. Where the economy, your personal life and money meet.

Thank you to all the donors who made our fall drive a success!

It’s Investors like you that keep Marketplace going strong!