A short history of the billionaire

Image of But Enough About You: Essays
Author: Christopher Buckley
Publisher: Simon & Schuster (2014)
Binding: Hardcover, 464 pages

The following is part of a collection of essays in "But Enough About You."

Cassius Binocularius Anthrax
Residence: Capri, 3 B.C.
Net Worth: 90 million aureii.  
Source of Wealth: Off-circus betting, slave trading.

Nickname "Buddy" bestowed on him by the emperor Tiberius during a three day Lupercal drinking binge.

Said to have fixed the 1 B.C. chariot race at the Circus Maximus between Ben Hur and his rival Messala. Pocketed enormous winnings after Messala (favored 50-1) was trampled under Ben Hur's chariot.

Parlayed windfall into franchise betting operations in Parthia, Dacia, Iberia and Germania, using a highly controversial system of reporting Roman chariot race results.

Forced to shut down Germania operations after tribes torched his betting shops (with the concessionaires inside) following years of consistent losing.

Bounced back; established a slave-trading network (Jeevus Dottus Commus) that kept patrician homes from Rome to the Amalfi Coast supplied with prized Britannic butlers.

Gilead (Sam) Starbuck
Residence: Boston, 1775.
Net Worth:140,000 dollars to 160,000 dollars (silver)
Source of Wealth: Tea

In December 1773 Starbuck was purser on the New Bedford whaleship Incontinent when it put into Boston Harbor to offload. Observing a crowd of Bostonians oddly dressed as Native Americans and hurling bricks of valuable English tea into the harbor, he lowered one of Incontinent's whaleboats and rescued some of the 45 tons of jettisoned tea.

Opened his first tea shop in Braintree several days later, serving a beverage called "Sal-Tea." When Sal-Tea failed to catch on, he rebranded it "Patrio-Tea," which did eventually find acceptance with Boston's tea-starved public.

Subsequently struck a deal with the East India Company to supply (that is, smuggle) non-salty tea to Massachusetts.

His string of tea shops prospered, but scholars argue that Starbuck made a mistake calling them "Gileads" instead of some other catchier name.

About the author

Christopher Buckley is the pen name of Christopher Buckley. He divides his time between the bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, and the koi pond, which serves as a sushi bar for the benefit of herons. When not cursing herons, he plants expensive bulbs for the winter nourishment of the abundant local squirrel population. His next book is Game of Drones, a candid and sure-to-be-controversial account of his experiences deploying miniature unmanned aerial vehicles in his yard “for purposes of deterrence and, to be honest, revenge.”
Image of But Enough About You: Essays
Author: Christopher Buckley
Publisher: Simon & Schuster (2014)
Binding: Hardcover, 464 pages

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