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NYC's underground grilled cheese

A grilled cheese sandwich made by "Ronnie"

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TEXT OF STORY

BILL RADKE: For years, if you wanted illegal drugs in New York City, you'd get the number of an anonymous dealer who would show up at your location with the goods. Now an entrepreneur who goes by the name of "Ronnie" is trying this technique with... grilled cheese sandwiches. Hungry customers get Ronnie's number from a friend, or a friend-of-a-friend, and they text their order, and in 15 minutes or less they get a hot, grilled cheese anywhere in the Lower East Side.

Our friend Brendan Francis Newnam, co-host of "The Dinner Party Download," gave it a try.


BRENDAN FRANCIS NEWNAM: OK. I'm here on location in the Lower East Side. I just texted this number and I just told him where I was. So it's been about 10 minutes and every time I look around I think I see Ronnie. Is Ronnie a kid with alabaster legs that look like lollipop sticks riding a skateboard? Is Ronnie riding a bike with a cast on one leg?

RONNIE: Hey, how's it going?

NEWNAM: You're Ronnie? Do you have the stuff?

RONNIE: I do. I have the stuff right here for you.

NEWNAM: We didn't even talk about price?

RONNIE: Price? This is a $5 sandwich.

NEWNAM: Do you have change for a $10?

RONNIE: What kind of dealer would I be without change?

NEWNAM: Look at all that cash. How many grilled cheese have you moved today?

RONNIE: Today, I've done like 50.

NEWNAM: You mind sitting while I snack on this? So how did this get started?

RONNIE: Basically, I was making a grilled cheese for all my buddies after we'd come back from a night out and they loved it and told their friends. And their friends just kind of spread the word, and it grew bigger just by word-of-mouth.

NEWNAM: And so then, how did that turn into like people texting you randomly and press about this?

RONNIE: So the press happened because my brother's girlfriend used to be in PR and she contacted UrbanDaddy, and they ate it up.

NEWNAM: Literally.

RONNIE: Yeah.

NEWNAM: All right. I'm going to check this out. It's really nice bread. What kind of bread is this?

RONNIE: This is, what do I have? Rye there from Blue Ribbon Bakery.

NEWNAM: And we have Granny Smith apples and gooey cheddar cheese.

RONNIE: And a whole lot of cheddar cheese.

NEWNAM: Excellent. And it's still hot. I know you're not going to tell me, but your kitchen must be pretty close?

RONNIE: It's pretty close. And I did a couple laps around the block trying to find you.

NEWNAM: So what's next?

RONNIE: Next I'm looking to get into a legal kitchen. For example, a restaurant that isn't open for lunch. I would rent it out from them and just work the lunch shift delivering sandwiches everywhere.

NEWNAM: You know how people are really picky in restaurants. Has anyone like sent you back?

RONNIE: I've gotten nothing, but good feedback.

NEWNAM: Isn't that part of it, though, cause you get away with a lot cause it's such a clever setup that this sandwich could suck and I would still be tickled.

RONNIE: Definitely. The product still has to be good, but even if it's not excellent people are still probably going to like.

NEWNAM: So when are you going to be able to reveal your identity.

RONNIE: Once I get into a legal kitchen.

NEWNAM: So why Ronnie?

RONNIE: Well, it's the perfect pseudonym because it's my name also.


RADKE: Brendan is co-host of our sister show "The Dinner Party Download."

And read our story to find out why Ronnie better watch out, or he could end up like Dr. Claw...

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Obummer obama's picture
Obummer obama - Sep 22, 2010

He has to be careful though since he is not certified, regulated, or taxed. Like Robert DeNiro’s black market repair man in Brazil, the IRS, the FDA, and who knows how many other agencies would love to catch this guy. “We’re all in it together”!

Obummer obama's picture
Obummer obama - Sep 22, 2010

He has to be careful though since he is not certified, regulated, or taxed. Like Robert DeNiro’s black market repair man in Brazil, the IRS, the FDA, and who knows how many other agencies would love to catch this guy. “We’re all in it together”!

Melvin R.'s picture
Melvin R. - Sep 22, 2010

"RONNIE: Well, it's the perfect pseudonym because it's my name also."

I actually laughed out loud to that.

Donnie Donnie's picture
Donnie Donnie - Sep 21, 2010

This. guy. is. AWESOME!!!!

JP Pilgrimway's picture
JP Pilgrimway - Sep 21, 2010

Message to the NYC Regulatory Goons- HANDS OFF RONNIE!

Lane Lester's picture
Lane Lester - Sep 21, 2010

Now that Ronnie's been outed, I guess there'll be a task force of the NYPD and FDA hunting Ronnie down. No doubt, the DEA will be asked to provide assistance.

unlapped dog's picture
unlapped dog - Sep 21, 2010

Excellent work, Ronnie. I'd say stay under the radar, it's much cooler that way, and you don't have to fork over part of your rightful earnings to the vampires. Using technology, more and more people can work under the radar, this is what we need, a real counter economy. The holy grail is chaumian digital bearer certificates and electronic gold. If that cat ever gets out of the bag, it's over. States all over the globe are going to collapse. I'm guessing this is what will happen when the dollar hyperinflates.

Spooner Mencken's picture
Spooner Mencken - Sep 21, 2010

Ronnie's business model is appealing to this unemployed gourmet cook.

I was just looking into selling some of my prepared foods at a "legitimate" local arts market. They charge an up-front application fee with no guarantee of a slot. There's also a steep weekly rent, and another fee if you don't show. To top it all off, I'd have to apply and pay for local and state licensure, and collect all applicable taxes.

Seems like an awful lot of bullshit just to get an opportunity to maybe sell some food. I'd rather sell my delicacies under the table to a discriminating clientele that knows I'm pushing the good stuff. The more basic economic transactions are regulated, the more Americans will have to rely on the black market for quality merchandise, be it unpasteurized milk products or high-grade pot.

Bryan Ripp's picture
Bryan Ripp - Sep 21, 2010

Hey Ronnie,

It time for you to read some Murray Rothbard.

mc mabele's picture
mc mabele - Sep 21, 2010

Where can one get the phone number?

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