This final note on the way out, which I'm sure will work...
The Secret Service wants sombeody to invent a piece of software that'll, "detect sarcasm and false positives," according to the work order. So, if you're a teenager on Twitter and you threaten to blow up a plane because you're bored, this would in theory prevent the FBI from knocking on your door.
You got less than a week if you're up to the challenge because next Monday is the deadline.
What could possibly go wrong.