Financial Feud

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$500 a month

The Argument:


I was expecting an insurance windfall. A few years ago, UPS was going to pay me $10,000 for a lost bike, but my fiancé and I couldn't agree on how to spend the money. She said I should buy a $5,000 bike and put the other $5,000 into our new house. I wanted to spend all $10,000 on a new custom-made, cut-to-my size, one-of-a-kind color bike. AM I RIGHT?

Expert Opinion:

Financial Feud

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The Argument:

I’m an avid cyclist.

A couple of years ago, I shipped my bike to an event, and UPS lost it. Fortunately, the bike was insured though -- WAY insured -- and UPS was going to write me a check for $10,000.

So I did what any sane person would do ... started shopping for a $10,000 bicycle. Custom made. Cut to my size. One-of-a-kind color.

My fiancé said, "Why don't you buy a $5,000 bicycle and put the other $5,000 into the house I just bought for both of us."

Then we both looked at each other like the other one was nuts.

It got to the point where I either had to order the carbon fiber rims or call off the wedding.

That’s when UPS decided that before they write me a check, they should look really, really hard for the bike, which they found a thousand miles away from where it was supposed to be.

I never got my custom-made bike, but I didn't destroy my marriage either.

I should disclose that I thought my husband was insane for spending nearly $1,000 on the bike he bought me. So, clearly, I lean toward your fiancée’s point of view. We just don’t get the bike thing. (For that matter, I don’t get the fancy car thing either.)

Part of being a couple is acknowledging that there are things you’ll never really understand and accepting those differences. You weren’t wrong to want to use your potential windfall to buy a really cool bike. Your fiancée wasn’t wrong to suggest buying a still-very-cool bike and deploying the rest elsewhere. UPS solved this impasse for you, but you’ll have many other opportunities to wrestle with your financial differences in the years to come.

Because most of the time, there is no “one right way.” It’s a balancing act. You need to save and invest some of your money for the future, but you also need to enjoy your life today. You need to compromise, of course, but not endlessly. A lot of the time you do have to meet halfway, but if something is important enough to you (or to her), you can figure out a way to make it happen. As my husband says, “Sometimes it’s not who’s right. It’s who wants it more.”

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Follow Liz Weston - Personal finance expert at @@lizweston