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The Traders and Markets

Hedge fund managers are buying farms. To feed themselves if there's an apocalypse. Of course, they will charge you fees of 2-and-20 if you want to eat any of their food.

LinkedIn went public today, as you heard unless you've been vacationing on Jupiter. The stock popped up 90% in its first few hours of trading, which set off hand-wringing about sock puppets and tech bubbles. It's a big pop, but it's not unheard-of for the first day of a hotly anticipated IPO. It's also not a bizarrely freakishly unusual indication that we are in a bubble and ohmigod we're all gonna dieeeee. Just watch to see where the stock trades during the week. But keep in mind that at least one firm, Trefis Research, does think the company is more than a wee bit overvalued.

The Bankers

Remember Goldman Sachs?

Banks say simpler mortgage forms would make their jobs harder, somehow. That's a little hard to swallow, no?

The Politicians

The U.S. is drinking out of the toilet to survive until the debt ceiling is lifted, says coiner of awful metaphors Austan Goolsbee.

Follow Heidi N. Moore at @moorehn