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A car and a baby
Question: christmas gift: my husband & I plan to give his son a car due to the fact that he will need a vehicle once his child is born in March next year. sigh. he does not currently have a vehicle and lives in a area with no pubic transport. bigger sigh. is there a way I can insure he will not use this vehicle to trade up to a bigger, better (read: more expensive) car? he has NO money sense and I am afraid this car, after he has it for a while, just won't be good enough for him and his girlfriend. it is basic reliable (and safe) transportation - and was good enough for me!!! any advice for me in my quest for the stepmother of the year title? Gail, Alexandria, VA
Answer: Well, I think it's a wonderful gift since we were without a car and had a new baby many years ago. (He's now in law school. The cliché is true; they grow up really fast.) It wasn't all that bad for us, though, since we lived in Brooklyn at the time.
I'm sure there is a lot more going on than I understand or can address. Relations can be tricky between parents and adult children even without the added stress of a stepparent. Just looking at the financial aspect there really isn't anything you can do to prevent your son and girlfriend from selling the car and going into debt to buy a bigger, more expensive vehicle. It's a gift.
My advice is for you and your husband (with your husband taking the lead role) to simply say why you're giving them the car and that you're doing it to help them out with a new baby. I'd stay low key, and remind them that a gift like this frees them to put their money elsewhere, especially toward the baby. Good luck.
About the author
Christopher Farrell is economics editor of Marketplace Money, a nationally syndicated one-hour weekly personal finance show produced by American Public Media.
Chris, your advice is spot on. I'd like to add that anytime a gift is given with the expectation that the giver has the right to decree how/when/where/why that gift will be used (or traded up!), it might be a good idea to rethink the reason for giving the gift. If it's a gift, it's exactly that. No way should the giver retain control. Hard for parents to do, but the voice of experience has learned that a gift given freely with no strings rarely comes back to haunt one's dreams. And if they wreck the car, it's stolen or traded up, well then, so be it. That's not the giver's problem.
