When — and how much — should I be tipping these days?
When — and how much — should I be tipping these days?
These days it feels like the option to tip service workers is showing up just about everywhere — on those screens in the coffee shop, on food delivery apps. And since the pandemic, when we saw just how essential service workers are, the rules of tipping have shifted. So much so that two in three U.S. adults have a negative view of tipping, according to a Bankrate survey from this past summer.
But obviously this is more than just angst or confusion for customers — tips are a substantial part of many service workers’ income.
So how to navigate the shifting expectations and norms around tipping? Daniel Post Senning, an author and spokesman with the Emily Post Institute, spoke with “Marketplace Morning Report” host Sabri Ben-Achour. The following is an edited transcript of their conversation.
Sabri Ben-Achour: The subject of tipping seems to stir up some strong emotions — resentment, even, for people. Why do you think that is?
Daniel Post Senning: It sure does. And I would really hope that by the time we’ve talked about it a little bit, we can help people find a way to feel the gratitude that’s really meant to be at the heart of gratuity. But there is no denying that there is some confusion out there, and people are feeling some pressure around tipping. And I think that pressure can really result in that feeling of resentment that you’re talking about.
Ben-Achour: Yeah, the pressure part. I mean, I wonder if that has to do with those little tipping screens that seems to be all over the place. Because you kind of fill them out while people are watching. I mean, it’s not just me — they are everywhere, right?
Senning: Some people think of it as a technological moment, but as you point out, it’s such a human moment. When that screen gets turned around and you’re both looking at a person who’s going to potentially be the recipient of that tip and be impacted by your decision, then you’ve also got a screen in front of you. And I think that reminding yourself that tipping really is discretionary, when you’re in that counter service environment, and that it really is up to you, can go a long way toward relieving that feeling of pressure and really bringing you back to the place where you can remember that feeling of appreciation.
Ben-Achour: Maybe what we can do is go through a few scenarios of varying ambiguity around tipping. Why don’t we start with restaurant service: What is the standard range for a tip?
Senning: We say at the Emily Post Institute that 15% to 20% is what you should be expecting to tip when you walk into a restaurant and sit down for table service. And this is one of the places where you can feel the most secure about that expectation. It’s a pretty firmly established part of the social contract that part of sit down table service at a restaurant is a tip that you’re going to add to that bill that’s somewhere between 15% and 20%. And the reason for this is that those waitstaff, that service staff is not protected by the same minimum wage laws that other workers are protected by.
Ben-Achour: Is it ever OK to not tip?
Senning: In general, if you’re ever thinking about not tipping, when you’ve sat down for table service, you’ve usually invested enough time and you’ve participated in that experience enough, that it’s really part of your responsibility to be sure that you’re talking to someone about it, and the reasons why you wouldn’t be tipping. And my guess is that, under most circumstances, the restaurant is going to be responding by wanting to take care of you in some way — maybe not charge you for the meal, or maybe even provide you with a free meal at some point. Most restaurants are that interested in providing good service.
Ben-Achour: So it’s kind of settled territory for dine in. What about takeout? Do you actually need to tip when there is no waiter?
Senning: In that situation, we really describe that tip as discretionary, because it is it’s up to you. And during the pandemic, a lot of people got used to tipping as much as they could or even a standard 10%, even if that was difficult for them to do, because that was one of the ways restaurants could afford to stay open and stay functioning. Now that that social distancing environment is not so restrictive, some restaurants have held on to that 10%. Some customers or patrons have held on to that habit of tipping 10%. It is a great way to support service workers in the restaurant industry. But it’s not the same kind of expectation that that 15% to 20% tip is when you sit down at the table.
Ben-Achour: I assume that same goes for baristas?
Senning: Really, when we’re talking about counter service, that really is a discretionary tip. It’s up to you. Some people use to put their change in the change jar. Some people like to tip $1. Some people like to tip more.
Ben-Achour: Here’s one that I think is confusing for some people: food delivery. I’ve heard a million different things. I’ve heard you’re already paying for the delivery with a fee, so you don’t need to tip. I’ve heard the delivery company takes a lot of the fees, so you should tip. What about delivery?
Senning: It is true, it can get complicated. And for exactly that reason, I always suggest that people feel comfortable asking if there’s any confusion about the way a bill has been divvied up or presented. In general, the delivery charge is different than the gratuity. Believe it or not, it’s something that accounts for the cost of the delivery. Whereas the gratuity is really something that’s a little extra for the person that’s actually providing the service.
Ben-Achour: Some restaurants have done away with tipping and instead they either pay actual minimum wage or more to servers, or they have a flat service fee included. Should we assume those funds do in fact go to employees? Is there anything we should sort of be careful about there?
Senning: When a restaurant puts out some sort of public display that they are paying their employees or their staff a living wage or the same minimum wage that other service staff that aren’t table service receive, I think that you have to operate from a perspective of believing them that they do that. And most restaurants that are actively looking to reduce pressure on patrons to tip will let customers or guests know.
The example that I think is much more difficult is when you’re not encountering that sort of public communication as part of the way a restaurant or a store represents itself. But instead you see on the bill a 10% service charge. And it is not always clear how that service charge is either distributed to staff or retained by restaurants or how exactly it’s used. And that is one of those cases where I love to tell people that it is always OK to ask about a service charge that you see on the bill where there isn’t an explanation. But I think asking that question is a good way to get a restaurant thinking about how it communicates about that. And whether or not you get a satisfactory answer, I think is a really valid thing to consider when you think about which establishments you’re going to patronize.
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