We at Marketplace like our humor as much as the next public radio business news show, so it was with great anticipation that we watched the speeches given at the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner last Saturday night.
Conan O’Brien did a great job serving as the evening’s guest comedian, but President Barack Obama definitively killed it on the laughter front. Despite the country’s continued economic woes, it was good to see that the President hasn’t made any major cuts to his humor budget.
Here is a round-up of Marketplace’s favorite lines from the evening. And, of course, we picked the ones about money. You can't blame us, it's what we do.
From President Obama:
Did you know that Sheldon Adelson spent $100 million of his own money last year on negative ads? You’ve got to really dislike me — to spend that kind of money. I mean, that’s Oprah money.
I know Republicans are still sorting out what happened in 2012, but one thing they all agree on is they need to do a better job reaching out to minorities. And look, call me self-centered, but I can think of one minority they could start with. Hello!
We need to make progress on some important issues. Take the sequester. Republicans fell in love with this thing, and now they can’t stop talking about how much they hate it. It’s like we’re trapped in a Taylor Swift album.
From Conan O’Brien:
As you all know, the president has been hard at work creating jobs. Since he was first elected, the number of popes has doubled and the number of Tonight Show hosts has tripled!
I was worried that because of the sequester, we would be forced to hold this event at a less prestigious hotel than the D.C. Hilton. Then I was told that’s not possible.
It’s been several months since you were re-elected, sir, so I’m curious, why are you still sending everyone five e-mails a day asking for more money? You won! Do you have a gambling problem we don’t know about? Did you put it all on Gonzaga? You did! Didn’t you? He did!
Speaking of the Cabinet, the President recently picked his new Treasury Secretary, Jack Lew, it gives me great joy to know that if the President ever has to let him go, he’ll get to say, “It’s not Lew, it’s me.”
The night ended with this gem of an exchange between the President and O’Brien:
Conan: Now I’ve made some jokes about the President this evening, and I am looking forward to my audit.
The President: It’s coming.
Conan: I know. It’s coming.