A former firefighter reflects on life — and money — as a stay-at-home dad

Two years into his life as a stay-at-home dad, Derick Tisdale is still coming to terms with not earning a paycheck. “I feel like I'm doing something wrong, but then also I know I'm doing something good,” he said. “It's a weird feeling.”

Tisdale quit his job with the Houston Fire Department when his wife began a medical residency program in Ohio. Tisdale is now the primary caregiver for the couple’s two young children.

“I did look for work for a while,” he said. But the unpredictable nature of medical residency schedules limited his professional options. “It just never worked out.”

Though he’s proud of his caregiving work, Tisdale said he initially struggled with the idea of not financially contributing to his family.

“It's that cognitive dissonance that I was taught as a child that there should be another side — that is, an economic side — that I don't feel like I'm fulfilling,” he said.

Tisdale said he initially combatted that feeling with “tasking.” He would start each day with a list of things he wanted to accomplish, such as home improvement projects, advanced meal planning, yardwork. He also learned to knit, got into woodworking, and trained for ultra-marathons. “That list never went away — it just grew and grew and grew,” he said.

Eventually, with the help of his wife, Tisdale said he realized this endless pursuit of productivity wasn’t necessary. “You know, my life didn't change at all when I was less productive — I mean, it was just me putting that on me.”

Click the audio player above to hear Tisdale’s story.