The Trader and St. Peter
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy dressed in a very sharp suit.
"Who are you," St. Peter asks the man in the suit, "so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Greenbucks, and until I passed away I was head of credit default swaps trading at the investment bank Dingman Robbers."
St. Peter smiles and says, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The minister steps up next. "I am Joseph Snow," he announces, "Pastor of St. Mary's for the last 43 years."
St. Peter smiles and nods and says, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a trader! A worshipper of Wall Street mammon! How does he get a silken robe and golden staff but I, a minister, only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?"
"Up here, we work by results," St. Peter says. "In a single month he brought more people to their knees and praying to God than you managed in a lifetime of preaching."