Automatic Reply: “I’m not bitter”

Automatic Reply celebrates the pithy, surprising or otherwise amusing out-of-office email messages pinging around workplaces.

Most people think of software as a tool, but when Steve Heyl goes on vacation, his email software gets a voice. Heyl is a software project manager in Long Beach, California. Here’s the out-of-office message he used while on a cruise last spring:

Hi,
 
Steve left me to answer your email, again. He wants you to know that he’ll be on a cruise between May 12 and May 16. He cannot guarantee that he will have access to the internet, so he may not be able to respond to your message until the evening of Thursday, May 16. 
 
Sorry about that, but don’t blame me. 
 
I’m not bitter that he never takes me anywhere. Really. After all, I’m just a piece of software.
 
Sincerely,
 
The AutoResponder

It’s your turn. If you’ve ever received an out-of-office message that made you think “I wish I’d thought of that,” tell us about it here:

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