How workplace language, dress, and more change over time

In the FX show “Adults,” one of the 20-something-year-old characters works at a digital advertising firm. His work life is going swimmingly … until he accidentally drops the “c-word” in a meeting.

Though the character means it in a complimentary way, his (older) coworkers are aghast and, from there — of course — shenanigans ensue.

The majority of the population knows that it’s not acceptable to casually drop the “c-word” in an office setting. But, in a pretty hyperbolic way, the episode hints at changing norms for language, what it means to be professional, and who gets to set those rules. Consider it in the same realm as the iced coffee at an interview debate.

What’s in a word?

Dropping the c-word casually, well, it’s still not the norm in a lot of circles, according to Timothy Jay, a psychology professor emeritus at Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts and expert on cursing.

“When you say ‘profanity,’ there's all kinds of uses of offensive words. What's not acceptable is anything that violates federal or state law — that's never appropriate,” he said, adding that he’s asked students over the years to rank the “worst” of the worst bad words. Often, the classic four-letter ones (I bet you can think of them if you noodle long enough) tend to top the list. The c-word, of course, has four letters.

But again, he said, it depends on the context of the workplace you’re in. Jay has worked in a car factory and as a construction worker; he’s also worked as a professor. Expectations for dress and demeanor and speech between those environments differed.

Pretty much all of that — how exactly you present yourself in a workplace — is encapsulated in the idea of professionalism.

“Professionalism is established both through direct communication and also what I would call the unwritten rules,” explained Jenny Fernandez, a professor and executive coach. And what counts as “professional” varies by industry or company and has shifted over time.

Toeing the line (when the line is always moving)

Take expectations around clothing, for example, which have changed pretty drastically since COVID. Fernandez noted that when she first entered the job market, open-toed shoes were considered unprofessional.

Body art follows the same example. Visible tattoos used to carry stigma and were viewed by some employers as unprofessional; when roughly a third of Americans (as of 2023) have tattoos, that’s becoming more of a rarity. The same goes for piercings, the politics of which have been touched on by other shows, like “Industry.”

Language, including the language we use in a workplace, evolves too. Norms have changed around including titles of “Ms.,” “Miss,” “Mrs.,” and “Mr.” when first meeting a professional colleague. When it comes to profanity in the workplace, however, business professionals advise using caution.

“What [language] is acceptable depends on the nature of the people in the environment, and those things are constantly evolving. There's a moving boundary,” Jay said.

Another aspect of professionalism is etiquette. “Etiquette comes from that place of: Are we making other people feel comfortable? Are we including people? Are we being respectful and courteous to people?” said Arden Clise, an etiquette expert.

Like expectations for professionalism, appropriate etiquette in a given setting can vary. If you present yourself in a super casual way when you’re in an uber-formal setting, Clise noted that you’ll stick out like a sore thumb. And vice versa.

But a lot of figuring out what is acceptable and what isn’t is about reading the vibe of a given setting. As cursing expert Timothy Jay noted, “you will learn on a day-to-day basis what's acceptable and what isn't.”

So, if you find yourself in the unfortunately awkward situation of letting colorful or profane language slip in a place of business (in a way that clearly doesn’t match your workplace’s vibe), what should you do?

“Definitely apologize, and don't leave the elephant hanging in the room,” Clise said. “Do say something, and acknowledge that what you just said was inappropriate, and it was not directed at this person.”