10 THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN LEAVING A VOICEMAIL MESSAGE

Drone on: Ramble on with pointless musings, then speed up when leaving yoru call-back number or important address.

Moan and groan: Leave repeated messages griping that the person doesn’t listen to his or her messages.

Issue an All Points Bulletin: Repeat identical, extra-long messages on a person’s cell, work and home phones.

Forget who you’re talking to: Chat as if you’re speaking to an actual person and ask lots of questions, pause, think out loud, tell a joke, laugh.

Hang on: Decide against leaving a message but stay on the line long enough so that the answering system registers that a new message needs to be checked.

Cry wolf: Ignore an outgoing message that says, “If this is an emergency, call me on my cell,” and instead leave a breathless message to “Call me as soon as you get this!”

Leave them guessing: When making a business call, leave a message with absolutely no information other than that you called, thereby forcing your contact to guess what you’d like to discuss.

Download your contact info: Leave multiple call-back numbers — work, home, cell, a friends cell — in case you don’t hear yours ring and then don’t answer any of them.

Act like a BFF: Assume the person you’re calling knows who you are. The statement, “It’s me, call me back,” is only OK when leaving a message for your parents, a spouse or close friend.

Unleash your preschooler: Put a small child on the phone and let him leave a long and indecipherable message.