An uncertain economy has parents weighing whether to work or stay at home

This story is a part of our series Lived Economies. Check out some of our earlier stories about these families as they navigate shifting financial realities.

Life at Julie Yang and Daniel Thao’s house in St. Paul Park, Minnesota, is a little chaotic these days. Asher, who’s in the third grade, has become a bit of a class clown.

“We just had conferences, and I heard really bad reviews,” said Yang. “So I was pretty upset with that, so now he’s grounded.”

Meanwhile, five-year-old Isla had a falling out with a friend, she added. “Something had happened at school, and she was like, ‘Yeah, well, she yelled at me and told me she wasn’t my friend anymore. And then she told all the other girls not to like me.’“

Typical drama, really — especially for a family with six kids. What’s not so typical is what’s happening with their newborn. Sachi was born preterm with a congenital heart defect and had to have a major surgery. He requires a lot of care.

“We just left a three-hour genetic appointment yesterday,” Yang said. “I feel like I’ve been at the doctor’s every week.”

Yang recently made the difficult decision to cut way back on her hours at her job as a nurse. It means the family lost their state childcare assistance and her part-time nursing pay, which was about $30,000 a year. The two have been dipping into savings; they’ve told the kids to expect one gift each this Christmas.

Raising kids in the U.S. has always required families to improvise, especially when it comes to juggling schedules and finances.

“You know, to have young children in general is somewhat of a leap of faith and an economically scary prospect, right?” said Taryn Morrissey, a professor of public administration and policy at American University.

But there’s something about this moment that feels different, with the rising cost of everything from healthcare to groceries — it feels like it’s coming to a head. Between 2020 and 2024, the average price of childcare rose nearly 30%, according to Child Care Aware of America.

“It’s an intense, economically uncertain moment,” said Morrissey. “And families are facing a lot of pressures.”

Those pressures may be pushing some parents to restructure their lives. The number of households paying for childcare is down more than 1.5% from a year ago, according to recent data from Bank of America. Meanwhile, the number of households receiving multiple paychecks is also down. The trend is more common among lower-income families.

“People are making these complicated calculations,” said Morrissey. “It’s just that many families don’t seem to have real options.”

Still, even families that do seem to have options are making tough decisions.

Hanan Tamari and Kareem Addassi in Elk Grove, California, had their second daughter, Summer, earlier this year.

“Honestly, she’s our dream child,” said Tamari. “She’s a great sleeper, she’s such a happy baby, she’s always smiling. She’s your by-the-book baby.”

Tamari considered leaving her job in real estate to be a full-time mom. But between $50 boxes of diapers and the $8,000 hospital bill from Summer’s birth, the budget wasn’t budgeting. Paying for all that without Tamari’s $85,000 salary (while also trying to save up to buy their first home) felt impossible.

“It was a hard decision,” Tamari said. “There are days where I do want to stay at home, you know. And I wish that the financial reality of living in California was a lot easier for a family just living on one income to have that full security.”

Tamari likes working, and she wants to set that example for her daughters. She’s also heard people in her mom groups talk about how hard it is to get back to work after time off.

“I go back and forth,” she said. “I do have mom guilt about wanting to be at home, wanting to be present, not miss anything.”

It’s a decision that so many parents are familiar with: stay home with the kids or go back to work. One way or another, you feel like you’re missing out.