An actual academic study in the journal Biology Letters says, basically, “the more men who have beards…the less attractive those beards are.”

It’s called “negative frequency-dependent preferences and variation in male facial hair,” and in plain language, it means: “We’ve reached peak beard. It’s time for beards to go out of fashion.”

To which I say: Amen, brother. I’m the clean cut type — I wouldn’t look good with a beard, even if I could grow one….