Bridget and Ryan are having their lunch break at a Chinese restaurant when they run into “Million Bazillion” listener Daphne with a big question: What’s the difference between capitalism, socialism, and communism? Turns out, each system was born out of people’s attempts to build a better society, but they have very different ideas about the role the government should play in our money lives. As the duo work their way through these "isms," they explore the problems that each system tries to solve and the tradeoffs that come with it.
After listening to the episode, try out these related conversation starters with your kids:
For older listeners: which of the three systems – capitalism, socialism, or communism – sound most interesting to you? Why?
For younger listeners: which of the systems for sharing toys sounded the most interesting to you? Why?
What’s something that’s better shared?
If you had to come up with a new system for running a government and economy, what would it look like?
*Bonus* Not-So-Random Question: If you have to make your lemonade stand really successful, what would you do?
For listeners who want to keep the learning going, start here:
Check out this Million Bazillion episode about taxes to learn more about how we fund social programs in our society like public education and Medicaid.
Then, listen to another Million Bazillion episode to learn how people file their tax returns.
There are many ways companies compete with one another, including buying other companies! Listen to this episode to learn more.
VIDEO: Check out this short video from PBS to learn more about the difference and history behind capitalism and socialism.
No money question is too big or small for “Million Bazillion!” And we’re looking for more to answer in future episodes. If you have questions you want answered, send them to us using this online form. And, thanks!
Cold Open:
(SFX: RESTAURANT AMBI)
(SFX: CHAIRS PULLED OUT FROM TABLE, SETTLING IN)
BRIDGET: I’m so glad we’re finally trying this new Chinese restaurant across from our office.
RYAN: Yeah, how do you wanna order? Should we just order separately and eat our own food? Or should we order together and share everything, family style?
BRIDGET: Eh, I don’t know, every time we order family style, you take more than your share!
RYAN: But there’s so much leftover when we order on your own, it’s such a waste!
BRIDGET: Okay fine, I mean, whatever’s quickest. We only have (FINAL EPISODE TRT) minutes for our lunch break.
WAITER: Hi, I’m your server, Esther. Do you have any questions before I take your order?
RYAN: Ah yes, what’s the fortune cookie situation here? Are we definitely gonna get fortune cookies at the end of the meal?
BRIDGET: Ryan, yes. We’re gonna get fortune cookies.
RYAN: Um-kay, um-kay, but let’s say I wanted fortune cookies at the beginning. Is that possible?
WAITER: (BEAT) No one’s ever asked for that before, but I guess we could do that?
BRIDGET: Sorry about him. I think we’re gonna need a few more minutes to figure out our order.
RYAN: Can we get some fortune cookies while we’re figuring out what to order?
WAITER: Uh, I guess so. Here you go.
(SFX: BOWL HITS TABLE)
(SFX: UNWRAPPING, CRACKING COOKIE)
RYAN: Thank you so much.
BRIDGET: Ugh, Ryan, this is so embarrassing.
RYAN: Ok, my fortune says, “You must learn to practice patience.” Awww, well, I already know that! (SFX: COOKIE BITE)
–Theme Music–
RYAN: Welcome to Million Bazillion. I’m Ryan.
BRIDGET: And I’m Bridget. And we help dollars make more sense.
DAPHNE: You’re Bridget and Ryan from Million Bazillion?
RYAN: Oh, yeah, we are.
DAPHNE: My name’s Daphne, I’m 12, and I listen to your show.
BRIDGET: You do?? You’re a fan!
RYAN: Oh, a fan! She’s a fan!
DAPHNE: Yeah and I’ve got a question I’ve been wanting you to answer on your show. What’s the difference between communism, socialism, and capitalism?
BRIDGET: Oh boy, this question is a biggie. I’ve been nervous a kid would ask this at some point, and Daphne, you finally did, so good job there.. Gee, where are your parents?
DAPHNE: Parking.
BRIDGET: [NERVOUS LAUGH] Uh, we don’t normally answer questions just, on demand, out in the wild like this–how would I even begin to explain this? I’d probably start with something like…
(MUSIC: EXPLAINER MUSIC)
BRIDGET: Capitalism, Socialism, and Communism are all different systems for running a country. You know like, the way its economy and sometimes its government would work..
(END EXPLAINER MUSIC)
RYAN: And in this episode, we’re gonna find out which of these three systems is the BEST! When we come back.
(SFX: REALITY SHOW STYLE STING)
BRIDGET: Wait, what?
RYAN: Let’s finally settle this once and for all, which -ism works the best for society- capitalism, communism or socialism? When we come back.
(SFX: REALITY SHOW STYLE STING)
BRIDGET: Wait, economists and philosophers all over the world haven’t been able to agree on an answer to that question for over a hundred years, what makes you think we’ll be able to solve it today?
RYAN: Uhhhh, because we’re Million Bazillion and we help dollars make more sense and we’re gonna break it all down. When we come back.
(SFX: REALITY SHOW STYLE STING)
BRIDGET: But seriously, we have, like, 25 minutes. I don’t think we’re gonna figure out capitalism versus socialism in that time-
RYAN: Ok, maybe we will, maybe we won’t, but we can’t go to break unless you just let me take us to break without saying something else after I say, “When we come back.”
BRIDGET: Ok, fine.
RYAN: You did it again. Just leave it be. Alright, more Million Bazillion- when we come back.
(SFX: REALITY SHOW STYLE “TENSION TO BREAK” STING)
(BEAT)
BRIDGET: (HALF-WHISPER) I just don’t think it’s realistic-
RYAN: BRIDGET!
–Asking Random Kids Not So Random Questions–
Daphne: I’m Daphne from Baltimore. Here with today’s Asking Random Kids Not-So-Random Questions … Today’s question is: if you have to make your lemonade stand really successful, what would you do?
KIDS: Advertise! I would make my lemonade $1, I would make a 2 for 1 deal, I would blow a whistle to get everybody’s attention. I would put better ingredients so i would charge more money and i would get more money. I would put balloons and streamers so everybody would think it’s a cool lemonade stand. I would put my lemonade stand by the pool in our neighborhood in summer time
That was: Sadie in New Jersey, Calder in North Carolina, Rania and Sofia in Chicago, Leylani, Emiliano and Camila in California. This has been Asking Random Kids Not So Random Questions.
Part 1:
BRIDGET: Welcome back to Million Bazillion! Today, Ryan and I are in a Chinese restaurant with Daphne. Say Hi, Daphne!
DAPHNE: Hi.
BRIDGET: And we’re answering her question about the difference between capitalism, communism, and socialism.
RYAN: And picking a winner between the three!
BRIDGET: Well, I don’t know about that part.
RYAN: And here’s the important thing- we’re not gonna let our personal opinions decide this. Even though the truth is, most adults you know probably already have an opinion on this. I, Ryan, personally like socialism. In fact, I’m a member of the Democratic Socialists of America. I joined because I had a crush on this woman who was a socialist. And then she started dating this really tall guy, and I was like, “ugh this guy’s too tall, I can’t compete with him, I’m just gonna go home and watch Survivor.” Anyway, which -ism is your favorite, Bridget?
BRIDGET: I’m not gonna say that on this kids’ show. It’s not appropriate. We have to present the information fairly and impartially.
RYAN: Wait, are you a communist?
BRIDGET: No, I’m not a communist.
RYAN: You can tell me if you’re a communist. I’m not gonna inform on you. I’m not Elia Kazan over here.
BRIDGET: I’m not a communist, but I’m not gonna give my personal opinion on the topic. That’s not what a good host does.
RYAN: OK, then what does a good host do?
BRIDGET: A good host tries to logically organize this information in a way that makes sense to a 12-year-old like Daphne.
DAPHNE: Wait so do I get to pick the best one?
RYAN: Yes! That’s a great idea! We can have Daphne be the judge!
BRIDGET: No. No one’s picking the best one. Look, let’s just answer your question, okay? I’m going to start with capitalism. But, I realize- to understand capitalism, first you have to understand a different “ism” al together. Feudalism.
RYAN: Like Family Feudalism?
(MUSIC STING)
BRIDGET: Uh, no, feudalism as in the way people lived during the Medieval Times. The actual times, like the 9th to 15th Century, not the dinner and tournament venue.
RYAN: Uh-oh, why do I feel a mini-flashback thing coming on?
(SFX: HARP GLISS)
(MUSIC MEDIEVAL LUTE)
BRIDGET: Under a feudalism, a landowner or lord provides protection to people who swear an oath to them. And in exchange, these peasants are loyal to their lord. It’s all about relationships. So maybe that looks like -
MIDEVIL LUTE MUSIC (SIMPLE)
PEASANT: My lord, we pledge allegiance to you, my lord. If you allow it, my family and I will live here on your land, and we shall grow your crops.
LORD: Very good! I shall protect you, and let you live on my land. You can take some of these potatoes for yourselves. Oh, hey, I might need to raise an army to prove a point to the Lord down the road. Could your family be my soldiers?
PEASANT: Oh it would be our honor, sire!
LORD: Splendid!
PEASANT: Do you think we could get some more carrots to get us through the Winter my lord?
LORD: Uhmmm, no.
SFX: ROYAL TRUMPETS
LORD: Oh, the king! Sire, I pledge loyalty to you.
KING: Wonderful. I shall protect you and give you one of my kingdom’s titles. Oh, I might need some soldiers to prove a point to the next king over. Do you have any you could pledge to me?
LORD: Oh it would be my honor, sire, yes!
DAPHNE: : Ok, sounds like a fine system to me. Where did it go wrong?
BRIDGET: Well in feudalism, it’s hard to make things equal. If you’re born poor, you stay poor. The lords could be really bad at sharing, and there wasn’t much to do about it. ie And you’re not going to be saving up money to go somewhere else, like , you might not even make money for the work you do for that lord.
DAPHNE: That doesn’t sound great.
BRIDGET: But eventually, things started to change. And new ways of doing things, like when we started making things in factories, meant you could move to a city and get a job and make money, and make your own decisions about your life. That sense of owing something to your lord, and the lord owing something to you sorta faded away.
WAITER: Oh hey, it’s me again, your waiter. That’s all very interesting. So what happened next?
DAPHNE: You want to know too?
WAITER: Yeah, I studied this in college, but it’s been a minute. I could use a refresher.
BRIDGET: Basically people dropped feudalism for this new hot idea -
SFX: DRUMROLL
BRIDGET: Capitalism!
(MUSIC: HOPEFUL, UPBEAT INDUSTRIOUS SCORE)
BRIDGET: In its perfect, ideal form, capitalism allows a country’s citizens, not its richest landowners or kings and nobles, to shape the economy through their own actions. Regular people decide what they want to make, how they want to make it, how much they want to charge for it, and they compete with each other to see who can make it best.
RYAN: And competition is a major part of capitalism.
BRIDGET: And the biggest cheerleader for this capitalist competition was the very famous Scottish economist in the 1700s named Adam Smith.
SFX: HARP GLISS
SFX: SCOTTISH MUSIC
ADAM SMITH: I always say, people always act in their own “self interest.” - They’re gonna try to make the most money for themselves. But when you think about it, this selfishness is actually GOOD, right? ,
SFX: ROWDY CROWD REACTING SKEPTICALLY
ADAM SMITH: No hear me out, because by accident, each person will totally do something that’s best for the whole of society.
SCOTTISH FRIEND: Maybe this guy’s on to something…
DAPHNE: Oh yeah, Adam Smith. I think I remember that name from social studies. Wasn’t he, like, an invisible man?
WAITER: Pffff, there’s no such thing as an invisible man. (LOSING CONFIDENCE) Or is there?
BRIDGET: You’re close, Adam Smith called his idea, that when people act in their own self interest, things work out in a way that is best for all of society, the “invisible hand.”
WAITER: Okay, here are some waters for you. SFX WATER BEING POURED IN GLASSES Can I get something started for you in the kitchen?
BRIDGET: Uh, oh, we haven’t even looked at the specials yet. Uh, can we get another five minutes?
WAITER: Sure, okay, but let’s try to focus up and get that order figured out by the time I come back.
BRIDGET: Let me give you an example of this “self interest that benefits everyone” - thing. Let’s say you sell…looking around the room here…milk tea. .
SFX: EXPLAINER MUSIC
SALESMAN: Milk tea! Milk tea! Buy my Milk tea! Milk tea for sale!
BRIDGET: It’s in your own self interest to sell more milk tea even if it takes away sales from the other milk tea sales people.
SALESMAN: (GLOATING) Haha! I have more customers than all of you! I win! I win! I win!
BRIDGET: But look what happens when competition heats up.
SALESMAN: Hmmm, if I want my business to stay competitive, I’m gonna have to lower my prices. And also, offer something really special. I know, I’ll offer a selection of tasty boba!
BRIDGET: The regular milk tea drinking public just won! [SFX: CHEERS] Because now they either can pay less for their milk tea , or they could add some delicious boba which they couldn’t get before..
RYAN: Did you know, the name capitalism comes from capitalist, which is someone who starts or runs a business?
7-YEAR-OLD: Really. I thought capitalism meant it was written in capital letters.
DAPHNE: Patty, don’t be silly. Sorry about my sister, she’s only 7.
BRIDGET: That’s ok! You can see how this idea of capitalism could seem appealing. It said hey, there’s plenty of opportunity for everyone to get a piece of the action and move up in society, if you just let regular people make their own decisions.
7-YEAR-OLD: Excuse me, this might be making sense to my older sister, but I don’t understand all those words. Can you explain it to me like I’m a 7-year-old? Cause I am.
SFX TOY EXPLAINER MUSIC
BRIDGET: Ok, sure kid. So think about the toys you have. Under feudalism, your parents own those toys and as long as you agree to do your chores and follow their rules, they’ll let you play with them.
PATTY: Uh, okay.
BRIDGET: CONT: Under capitalism, those toys belong to you. And your desire for more toys will convince you to do good things for your household, like to clean your room so you can get an allowance and buy more toys.
END TOY EXPLAINER MUSIC
7-YEAR-OLD: Oh, that makes sense for now. I’m gonna go back to playing with my chopsticks.
DAPHNE: So I think I sorta understand the basic idea of capitalism, and gotta be honest, I’m loving the pitch. But what are these other systems you guys were talking about?
BRIDGET: Oh, well see, capitalism comes about because people thought the system before it, feudalism, wasn’t always fair.
DAPHNE: Yeah, and capitalism is like, the best.
BRIDGET: Well, in theory, but in practice, there are some problems. Some would argue capitalism values money over the well being of other humans or the environment. It encourages people to consume things, even if they don’t need them. It can still lead to inequality where some people don’t have enough to survive and others have way more than enough.
DAPHNE: Okay so what happened next?
BRIDGET: So then some people came up with this idea that could totally fix everything -
SFX: DRUMROLL
BRIDGET: Socialism!
DAPHNE: Ok, what’s socialism?
BRIDGET: (SIGHS) I need a break from talking, I really need to look over these specials before the waiter comes back. Why don’t you explain it, Mr. DSA?
RYAN: Me?
DAPHNE: Yeah, Bernie Sanders, explain it to me.
SFX: TOY EXPLAINER MUSIC
RYAN: Ok, fine. You know how Bridget just explained how under capitalism, you don’t really have to share your toys. Under socialism, you might have a toy or two that’s just yours, but for MOST of the toys, your parents would step in and say, “Hey actually, we own these toys, and we’re gonna decide how they’re shared between you and your sister.
SFX: END TOY EXPLAINER MUSIC
DAPHNE:: Ok, cool. But you don’t have to explain everything in toys. I’m not 7. I’m 12.
RYAN: Oh, that’s right, sorry. The idea under capitalism, is that things work best when they’re run and owned by individual people or companies - even things like factories, schools, hospitals, airports. But in socialism, the idea is that things that benefit the public should be run by a government that is making decisions based on what’s best for most people. [MONOLOGUING] And this has its roots in the age of Enlightenment
(SFX: HARP GLISS)
(MUSIC: MOZART)
RYAN: Oh no, am I taking us into another mini-flashback?
BRIDGET: Sounds like it.
(SFX: SOCIAL PARLOR MURMER
SFX: CLINKING GLASSES)
RYAN: The Enlightenment was this period in the 16 and 1700s- 6-7- where people who all wore wigs, weirdly, started sharing ideas about how to make the world a better place, through science, art, music, and the way we set up our governments and economies and even whole societies. And one of the ideas they talked about a lot in their little wigs was socialism-
FRENCH ACCENT: Society should help everyone succeed, not just the richest!
ALT EUROPEAN ACCENT: Yes and to make this work, we need equality among peoples, public education for all, and “wealth redistribution!”.
SFX: MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY
DAPHNE: : Wealth redibippity what now?
RYAN: Wealth Re-dis-tri-bution. That’s moving some money from the very wealthy to the very poor so that no one’s going without. Like if I took my pile of fortune cookies and gave one to each of you so that no one is without a fortune cookie.
SFX: FORTUNE COOKIE WRAPPER CRINKLING
DAPHNE: Oh gee, thanks!
RYAN: The point is, where pure capitalism says, “Make as much profit as you can. The invisible hand will take care of people.” Socialism says, “The invisible hand isn’t always very nice or very helpful to everyone. Individuals trying to make the most profit for themselves doesn’t lead to the greatest good for the most people. If you want the invisible hand to help, it needs to be guided by the arm of good government.”Uh, I’m gonna need that fortune cookie back.
DAPHNE: [DISAPPOINTED] Oh.
SFX: PLASTIC FORTUNE COOKIE PLASTIC WRAP
(SFX: TRAIN WHISTLE AND CHUGGING)
RYAN: Suddenly it was the middle of 1800s. And there was a lot of inequality, because of the Industrial Revolution. That’s when people figured out how to use machines to make a lot of stuff fast. They had invented factories. And factory owners. Who got really rich. They were making tons of money off of, oh, I don’t know, fabric they made in their factories. But they were paying barely anything to very poor workers or children, who work in these factories. And these jobs were very dangerous and hard. People felt something big had to change! And they wanted the government to step in.
DAPHNE: Ok, excuse me here, if I can interject, I get why socialism would’ve seemed like a good idea when factory workers were coming home with soot on their faces and other old-timey stuff like that, but things are better now, right?
RYAN: Sure working conditions have improved in the last 100 years, but the gap between the richest and and poorest is bigger than ever. A CEO like Jeff Bezos has $250 billion dollars while some of his Amazon warehouse workers barely make enough to survive. You know the top one-tenth of the top one percent own as much wealth as the bottom 90 percent!
BRIDGET: Ok, go off, king. How do you have wealth inequality stats at your fingertips like that?
RYAN: I memorized a bunch of socialist talking points when I was trying to impress that woman years ago.
BRIDGET: Hmm. You must’ve really liked her. What ever happened to her?
RYAN: Oh, she’s in congress now. Her name is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. We still follow each other. She liked a picture of Skimbelshanks the other day.
DAPHNE: Ok, I think we’re veering off-topic. If socialism was such a better idea than capitalism, did it succeed? Was it an L or a W?
RYAN: Oh there have been tons of countries that ran themselves under the rules of socialism.
BRIDGET: Butttt not so many today, right, Ryan? A lot of the big ones who were socialists for a while have…moved back to capitalism.
RYAN: Pfft. Look, you don’t get a medal for having more countries using your ism. Today, most countries, even ones that love capitalism, have social programs for the public good.\\\
BRIDGET: Okay so that is true. Because of those people in the wigs and the factory workers from the last two hundred years, there is now a sort of acceptance that the government should help where it can. It should fund programs using tax dollars that private businesses won’t. And that citizens should expect their governments to support ideas that improve their lives and health and give them opportunities.
RYAN: You know, America thinks of itself as mostly capitalist, but there are plenty of socialized services we consider as American as apple pie. Like the way we run public schools, public utilities for water and power, Social Security for older people, the post office! Some people think there should be even MORE work to socialize important programs like health care- cause maybe being sick or injured shouldn’t be a “profit opportunity.” Like, maybe that’s not the most compassionate way to treat someone who just fell off a ladder.
(SFX: GUY SCREAMS)
(SFX: LADDER CRASHES)
(SFX: CASH REGISTER “CHA-CHING”)
RYAN: But the counterargument to that is- because no government runs perfectly, neither do these socialized programs. There are a lot of people out there who say: “Sure, capitalism may be a little cold and heartless, but Socialism? No way! Why would I want the government to raise my taxes in order to take over industries and run them worse than private owners who, at the very least, have to compete to make the best product?
WAITER Hi, how’s it going here? Just want to remind you- you haven’t ordered any food yet.
BRIDGET: Oh yeah, sorry about that. We’re still trying to figure out if we should order individually or share everything.
RYAN: Yeah, there are different schools of thought on the subject.
WAITER: Ok, well, you’re gonna have to decide. This is a restaurant.
RYAN: I promise we’re gonna order, but we have one more big economic system to explain and then we gotta pick a winner once and for all.
WAITER: (SIGHS) Thing is, if you’re not gonna eat, we sorta need the table.
RYAN: Yeah, we’re gonna get right on that… right after we come back.
-MIDROLL -
Part 2:
BRIDGET: Welcome back to Million Bazillion. We’ve spent today’s entire episode so far in a Chinese restaurant-
RYAN: (GASPS) Like that one Seinfeld.
BRIDGET: Huh?
RYAN: Where Jerry and George and Elaine are waiting to be seated-
BRIDGET: Sure, whatever. Except our lunch break is halfway over and the waiter is waiting on US to order which we haven’t done because we’ve been busy answering Daphne’s question about differences between capitalism and socialism-
RYAN: So that we can pick the big WINNER at the end.
BRIDGET: We’re not gonna pick a winner! Besides, there’s one biggie we haven’t even discussed yet-
SFX: DRUMMROLL
BRIDGET CONT: communism.
RYAN: Yeah, Bridget’s favorite.
BRIDGET: It’s not my favorite!
(MUSIC: DRAMATIC RUSSIAN CHORUS)
DAPHNE: Yeah, I’ve been wondering when you were gonna get around to that one. And remember- can you explain it to me like I’m a 12-year-old?
BRIDGET: So you know how we talked about socialism earlier? Think of communism as socialism’s moody little sister.
7-YEAR-OLD: I am not moody!
BRIDGET: So remember when we were talking about the Industrial Revolution and how hard life was for some people who were doing those terrible factory jobs? Around this time, the mid 1800s, these guys named Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels wrote The Communist Manifesto. They were like - [READING BURN BOOK] capitalism is so frumpy because it splits people up into classes and makes them unequal, and this other ism, “socialism” yeah, do not trust her. She doesn’t go far enough to make people more equal. she can’t sit with us. [AS BRIDGET] And poof. They came up with communism.
RYAN: Where socialism was cool with people owning some private property, communism said, “Ownership is just making everyone unhappy. How about no one owns anything? No property, no class, no money.”
DAPHNE: No money?
RYAN: Yeah, no money. And they said everything should be owned and operated communally, by communities, hence the word “communism.” Oh, and having stuff shouldn’t be dependent on much you earn, but how much you need.
WAITER: [WALKING BY] Ah yes, I remember that old Marxist slogan from a college class: “from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.” And I need you to order ASAP.
DAPHNE: Again, 12-years-old here! What does that even mean?
BRIDGET: “From each according to his ability,” means everybody should give what they can in terms of their talent, skill, and hard work to make society better, y’know, for the common good.
RYAN: “To each according to his needs” means all resources- food, clothing, shelter, pool floaties, whatever- should all be given to whoever needs those things so no one is out there, walking around, struggling to survive without the stuff they need.
BRIDGET: But the big idea is - how much you get shouldn’t be based on how much you have to give, you’re a person who is a part of a community, you should be taken care of.
7-YEAR-OLD: Hey, sorry to make you do this, but can you explain it to me like I’m a 7-year-old?
SFX: TOY EXPLAINER MUSIC
BRIDGET: (SIGHS) Sure, I can try. Ok, so remember those toys in your room? Under communism, those toys now belong equally to everyone who lives in the house but your parents get to decide how much everyone plays with them based on how much THEY think you need to play with them. No kid can hog all of the toys for themselves because no single kid owns the toys. In fact, no one owns anything. That’s communism. Sort of.
12-YEAR-OLD: That sounds like it may not be that fun, but could help make things fair. But I have a question- my grandma, who is super old, says communism is evil. Why is she so afraid of communism?
RYAN: Well, I’ve never met your grandma- at least, I don’t think I have- but it sounds like maybe she formed her ideas about communism during the Cold War.
7-YEAR-OLD: Cold war? Like a war fought in the snow?
RYAN: Not quite. Real quick what happened was- back in 1917, Russia got taken over by communists. And to be honest, most people agree it didn’t go that great. Remember when we said with these systems, there’s the way they’re supposed to work, and the way they really work? There was also a lot of corruption, that’s when people misuse the power they have in a way that hurts other people and the whole system.
12-YEAR-OLD: Like what, can you get more specific?
RYAN: Okay like, picture government worker in the Soviet Union - that’s what they called Russia when it was under communist rule –
SFX: TIME TRAVEL GLISS
SFX MUSIC: RUSSIAN FOLK MUSIC
RYAN: His job is to issue residency permits, that’s permission to live in a certain city.
RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT WORKER: You want to move to Leningrad? I hear it’s beautiful this time of year. Unfortunately, the waiting list for this is about 20 years long.
RUSSIAN CITIZEN: What?! Twenty years? That’s way too long! I want to move to Leningrad now!
RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT WORKER: Oh yes, too bad about that. [LOUD WHISPER] 100 rubles! .
RUSSIAN CITIZEN: [TOO LOUD] What?
RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT WORKER: [LOUD WHISPER] Slip me 100 rubles and I’ll make sure your residency permit for Leningrad is all set by the time summer starts.
RUSSIAN CITIZEN : Are you asking for a bribe??
RUSSIAN GOVERNMENT WORKER: No, I’m telling you, you need to pay me a bribe if you want this to happen. If you don’t, someone else will!
SFX: FADE OUT RUSSIAN MUSIC
RYAN: There was so much corruption under communist rule, a lot of people didn’t have their basic needs met by the government, which was the whole reason for doing communism in the first place.
12-YEAR-OLD: So there’s no corruption under socialism and capitalism?
RYAN: Uh, well, not quite. People definitely do underhanded,corrupt, and illegal things under socialism and capitalism. But remember, Communism relies on a fair governing body giving out resources fairly to its citizens. So if you can’t get that ONE thing right, what’s the point, you know?
DAPHNE: But why would my grandma have been afraid of communists?
BRIDGET: During the Cold War, people your grandma’s age were taught that communists would try to take away their ability to earn money, or take away their democracy, their right vote, or their right to go to the church they want. There was even a nickname for that fear- Red Scare. Red is what you call a communist if you don’t like communists.
RYAN: In America, you could get in trouble for even talking about communism unless you talking about how evil it was. Like this podcast we’re doing right now never would’ve been broadcast in the 1950s. The FCC would’ve said, “Bridget, Ryan, we’re taking down the episode. And by the way, we’re putting you guys on a list and we’re gonna keep an eye on you to make sure you’re not communists.” So, does that sorta explain why your grandma feels the way she does?
DAPHNE: Yeah, it does. She also doesn’t trust anything she hears on the news because she says the mainstream media
RYAN: Ok, enough talk about your Grandma for now. So we’ve heard the pitches for capitalism, socialism and communism. Time to crown a winner. Which is the one -ism to rule them all?
DAPHNE: Honestly, I don’t know. They all seem to have good and bad parts?
RYAN: Yeah, I know, but if you had to pick a winner, which one would it be? I’ll make it easy, we’ll take communism out of the running. There’s no way communism can win this competition without us ending up on a list. So, which is better- capitalism or socialism?
DAPHNE: I really can’t say for sure.
RYAN: Ok, what about you, Patty? Which is your favorite?
7-YEAR-OLD: The veggie eggroll.
RYAN: Arrgh!
WAITER: (SIGHS) Excuse me, could you please order something, anything? On your own, family-style, maybe just let me decide for you? I don’t care how you order. My manager wants to kick you out, but I’ve put too much time into this table not to get your tip. I just need you to order anything.
BRIDGET: We are so sorry, and we are going to order now. What looks good? The number 6? The number 7? T-
RYAN: 6-7.
DAPHNE: Ugh, you have to stop saying 6-7! It’s dead and old and out of trend!
RYAN: Ok, fine! No more 6-7! But we’re not gonna order! We’re not gonna do anything until we figure out which system is best! We need a break! I need a break! Let’s take a break, and we’ll be back with more Million Bazillion right after this!
- SEINFELD STING-
Part 3:
BRIDGET: Welcome back to Million Bazillion. Today, we’ve been answering Daphne’s question about capitalism, socialism and communism and this has been a truly chaotic episode. It’s like anarchy in here.
RYAN: Hey, don’t introduce anarchy now, Bridget. That’s a whole other system and as soon as those kids hear about it, they’re gonna want to vote for it cause they can eat whatever they want and have no bedtime.
7-YEAR-OLD: Wait, what did you say about no bedtime?
BRIDGET: Nothing. Nothing. I got an idea. Let’s just recap what we talked about today in an orderly fashion and calmly pick a winner so Ryan can think he settled the debate once and for all, then order some food, and eat it in complete silence.
RYAN: Ok, sounds like a plan.
(MUSIC: RECAP MUSIC)
BRIDGET: Today, we talked a lot about capitalism, socialism, and communism. Just three of many potential systems that can shape how money flows through a society. A lot of governments run their economy like capitalists, but support programs that are inspired by socialist ideals. It’s even possible to live in the same country for long enough to see it switch from capitalism to socialism, back to capitalism, hopefully never to facism because that one’s just bad-
RYAN: Yeah, boo fascism.
BRIDGET: I guess you could say it’s kinda like deciding how you’re going to order at a Chinese restaurant. Should everyone choose and eat their own dish? Are you going to split appetizers? Or will the whole table share everything, family style? Depends on what you like. If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve noticed that each of these systems formed as a reaction to another system that wasn’t working for people, and they’ll probably keep adapting.
RYAN: But none of these systems are perfect because people aren’t perfect. For a medieval serf giving everything they earn to a king in exchange for a plot of not a lot of land, capitalism probably was the answer to their prayers. But in a world where a few billionaires have more of the money than the rest of everybody else, capitalism seems a little less shiny. How much money is enough- for a billionaire, for a peasant? You gotta ask yourself these questions for real to figure out how you see the world.
BRIDGET: Or ask a grownup, ask your grownups sometime what’s really important to them. It’s probably not making a million bazillion dollars. It’s being able to feed their babies, make them healthy when they’re sick, keep them happy and loved.. It’s when people can’t get those simple things that they look at the system and try to change it.
(END RECAP MUSIC)
BRIDGET: OK, we’re done. Daphne, did we answer your question?
DAPHNE: Yeah, I guess so. Thanks, Bridget and Ryan.
RYAN: Alright, if no one’s gonna pick a winner between capitalism, socialism, and communism, I’m just gonna pick the winner for everybody.
BRIDGET: Fine, pick a winner. There couldn’t be less stakes riding on this.
RYAN: Alright, um, just give me a minute to think here, they all have their pros and cons.
WAITER: Ahem, just checking in… again. Have you decided- are you gonna order family style and share everything, or maybe just share a few appetizers and order separate entrees, or just order totally separate and do your own thing?
RYAN: I don’t even know anymore!
BRIDGET: We really can’t decide. What do you think we should do?
WAITER: I dunno. Depends on how hungry you are.
–Theme Music-
Credits
RYAN: That’s the end of this episode of Million Bazillion AND it’s the end of our lunch break. We’re just gonna have to order to go. What do you think, one order of dumplings or two?
BRIDGET: Definitely two orders of dumplings.
WAITER: Okay so are you ready to order now?
BRIDGET: Yes, first I just want to say, we have a new episode coming out for you next week, all about pennies! Keep sending us your questions and ideas for new episodes, go to our website, Marketplace dot org slash million. And hit that Talk To Us button. Ryan, are you a brown rice or a white rice guy?
RYAN: One of each? While you’re there, sign up for our world famous tip sheet newsletter. It’s great because if you’re on the list, we send you new Million Bazillion episodes as they’re released, along with some fun conversation starters so you can start some important money conversations with your family.
WAITER: What else can I get you?
BRIDGET: Scallion pancake? And we wanted to give a special thanks to Mark Blythe, professor of international economics at Brown for helping us get our facts straight. And thank you to the folks who leant their voices to this episode: Daphne, Zuzu, Dan Ackerman, I-Yun Chan, Brendan Dalton, Rachel Khan, and Richard Perrins.
RYAN: Million Bazillion is produced by Marketplace from American Public Media. I, Ryan Perez wrote this episode and hosted alongside Bridget Bodnar. Can we also get some of the bok choy potstickers?
WAITER: Uh-huh.
RYAN: And the shrimp wontons.
WAITER: Yeah [WRITING DOWN]
RYAN: And the Dan Dan noodles?
WAITER: How many people are you trying to feed again?
BRIDGET: Our senior producer is Marissa Cabrera. Our editor is Jasmine Romero. Our intern is I-Yun Chan. Can I get a milk tea too?
RYAN: Ooh, same but can I add Boba to mine?
This episode was sound designed by Brendan Dalton.
And mixed by Charlton Thorpe.
Our theme music was created by Wonderly.
Bridget Bodnar is the Director of Podcasts at Marketplace.
Joanne Griffith is the Chief Content Officer
Neal Scarbrough is the VP and General Manager.
BRIDGET: Million Bazillion is funded in part by the Sy Syms Foundation, partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985. And special thanks to The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance for providing the start-up funding for this podcast.
RYAN: If Million Bazillion is helping your family have important conversations about money, consider making a one-time donation today at marketplace-dot-org-slash-givemillion, and thanks for your support.
The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance, supports Marketplace’s work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy. Next Gen Personal Finance is a non-profit that believes all students benefit from having a financial education before they cross the stage at high school graduation.
The Sy Syms Foundation: Partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985.
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