“Million Bazillion” listener Cora wants to know: How does a company buy another company? But before Bridget and Ryan can answer, Borpo, host of “Learning with Borpo” and CEO of a giant educational media empire, shows up with an offer to buy “Million Bazillion!” As the duo tries to figure out whether it’s a good deal or not, they’ll learn that buying (or selling) a company is more than just money on the table. It also involves intense negotiations, government regulations, and could change things for workers and customers.
After listening to the episode, try out these related conversation starters with your kids:
Have you ever seen your favorite business get bought by another business? Did you notice any changes?
If you could buy any company in the world, which one would you buy? Why?
Do you think Ryan and Bridget should’ve sold “Million Bazillion” to Borpo? Why?
*Bonus* Not-So-Random question: If you had to give a gift that would make someone laugh, what would you give?
For listeners who want to keep the learning going, start here:
Curious about how to become a CEO of a company? Check out this Million Bazillion episode!
If you want to know how to start your own business, listen to this episode!
Listen to this Million Bazillion episode to learn why some businesses have multiple stores.
Did this episode raise more money questions for your kid? Send them our way using this online form. And, thanks!
SFX SMALL CROWD CHATTERING IN A ROOM
SFX: GAVEL BANGING TWICE
BORPO: Okay everyone! Let’s get this board meeting of Borpo Incorporated started! Through our educational YouTube channel empire, we make kids smarter about lots of stuff, every day! Let’s start as we always do. Does anyone have any Good Ideas or Goofs they want to share while I pass out these slices of banana bread?
BOARD MEMBER 1: I accidentally sent an email to Linda in shipping instead of Brenda in shipping!
SFX: PLATES BEING SET ON TABLETOP
SFX: BOARD CHUCKLES
BORPO: OOh, that’s one big goof! We’ll have to make sure that doesn’t happen again!
BOARD MEMBER 2: I spent most of Friday investigating a counterfeit ring based out of the cafeteria before I realized two dollar bills are actually real! (CHEWING) Yum, this is a great batch of banana bread!
SFX: BOARD MURMERS
BORPO: [GIGGLES] Okay, so this is a clearly goof day, I’m seeing. Anyone else?
TESS: Actually, I have a good idea, at least, I think it could be a good idea.
BORPO: Who’s that speaking? Oh, Tess, yes, from the accounting department right? Do you want some banana bread?
TESS: Yes and yes, well, see, the other day I was working on your expense report from when you were the Grand Marshall at the Tax Day Celebration.
BORPO: Oh I remember that, that was a zip zip zippity good time!
TESS: And then I happened to walk by Gary when he was trying to convince building security that two dollar bills weren’t real. And it hit me. We should do more stories about money and how it works, but for kids!
BORPO: I love that idea! It makes me wanna do a little dance!
(MUSIC: KIDDIE MUSIC PLAYS FOR A SECOND THEN IS ABRUPTLY CUT OFF)
BOARD MEMBER 1: Though I should mention, I think there is a podcast out there already that kinda covers that, Million Bazillion. Fun show, very original, even though they’ve never won a Teddy award.
BORPO: Oh I know Million Bazillion - hosted by Bridget and Ryan! A real pair of goofs - in a good way!
TESS: Well, why don’t you buy them? Instead of competing with them, you can work with them and add the show to the Borpo family.
BOARD MEMBER 2: We have bought other media companies before, like that show about the beatboxing beluga whales! And that worked out great!
SFX: BOARD MEMBERS MURMERING IN AGREEMENT
BORPO: Hmm, Borpo Incorporated buy Million Bazillion? I don’t know if I like it [LONG PAUSE] or LOVE it. No, I think I love it! Borpo’s on board!
SFX: ROOM BURSTS INTO APPLAUSE
– MILLION BAZILLION THEME–
[ROLL THIS UNDER THE MILLION BAZILLION THEME MUSIC, SLIGHTLY QUIETER THAN USUAL]
SFX: MIC TAP
RYAN: [OFF MIC] Me-me-me-me. Is this mic on?
BRIDGET: [OFF MIC] We are on and we are rolling.
RYAN: [OFF MIC] We’re definitely rolling?
BRIDGET: [ON MIC] Yep, we’re rolling. Go ahead and say your first line.
[ON MIC]
RYAN: Welcome to Million Bazillion! I’m Ryan.
BRIDGET: And I’m Bridget. And we help dollars make more sense!
RYAN: Every episode we answer a question about money and the economy from a real listener. Let’s hear today’s question:
CORA: Hi, my name is Cora and I’m 9 years old and I live in Washington DC. My question is, how does a company buy other companies? I wondered this because I heard that Amazon had bought Whole Foods and I wondered why would a company like Amazon that sold so many other things want to buy a grocery store of all things? Thank you for answering my question, Bridget and Ryan! Bye!
(SFX: EXPLAINER MUSIC)
BRIDGET: Ooh, that’s a fun one. So Cora’s right, companies can buy other companies! It’s totally allowed! The technology company Amazon, which you maybe know from online shopping, bought Whole Foods, the grocery store back in 2017.
RYAN: It was surprising at the time, like Cora suggests but it kinda made sense because it meant Amazon suddenly had a bunch of stores all over the country, they didn’t have to build them, they just bought them. And that was great for them, for two reasons. First, Amazon gets a grocery business ready to go AND two. It now had locations where existing customers could drop off returns of things they bought online. Doubly whammy.
BRIDGET: You know, for business journalists, like the kind you might hear on Marketplace, these are sometimes considered the MOST FUN stories to report on.
RYAN: Fun like laser tag fun or fun like those times I’ve had to run through a sewer for this show?
BRIDGET: Um, I’m going to say that depends. But a key thing to know is that–
(SFX: EXPLAINER MUSIC ABRUPTLY STOPS, LOUD KNOCKING SFX, DOOR OPENS)
BORPO: Knock knock! Oh hey Bridget and Ryan. What a great day to run into you two.
RYAN: Oh. Hey. Borpo. Yeah, fancy running into us, in our studio, where we record our show. On a workday.
BRIDGET: [BRIGHTLY] Hi Borpo!
RYAN: We’re actually in the middle of an episode right now, uh, note for later, cut this whole part. So can’t talk right now, what a shame. Bridget, pick it up from the top.
BORPO: Oh wait, I actually just–
(SFX DOOR SLAMS,EXPLAINER MUSIC RESTARTS)
BRIDGET: A key thing to know is that when companies talk about buying another company or selling themselves to another company, they’re going to use the term “Mergers and Acquisitions.” Or M And A for short.
(SFX: EXPLAINER MUSIC ABRUPTLY STOPS, KNOCKING AGAIN, DOOR OPENS)
BORPO: Hey guys, just really quick..
RYAN: (ANNOYED SIGH OF EXASPERATION) Borpo we really can’t talk right now! Look just stand here quietly and we will get to you in a second!
(SFX EXPLAINER MUSIC RESTARTS)
BRIDGET: M and A. Mergers and Acquisitions - it’s just like what it sounds like. Companies either come together to make one company - MERGE. OR one company buys another company - or ACQUIRES it. To do either of those things takes lots of complicated legal paperwork necessary to sort out the details.
RYAN: There are a lot of reasons WHY a company might choose to buy another, or to sell itself. But Cora wants to know HOW this gets done, which is really going to add an interesting twist to this episode–
(PAUSE EXPLAINER MUSIC ABRUPTLY)
BORPO: [CLEARS THROAT] Actually, I was looking for you two. I want to talk to you about something super duper important. I want to buy Million Bazillion! Here’s my offer, I’ve written it down on this piece of paper!
(SFX: DRAMATIC MUSICAL SCORING)
(SFX: CRINKLY/UNROLLING PAPER)
BRIDGET: What?
RYAN: An offer to sell our show? To you?
BRIDGET: Let me see that.
SFX: CRINKLY/UNROLLING PAPER
RYAN: Hrm, that’s…that’s a pretty generous offer, Bridget.
BRIDGET: I can’t believe this. Sell Million Bazillion? To Borpo?
RYAN: There’s a lot to think about.
BORPO: Sure! Why don’t you two take 90 seconds to think about it. And then we can talk more, right after this!
–Asking Random Kids–
BRIDGET: Welcome back everyone. You’re listening to Million Bazillion. Ryan and I were just doing our thing, about to answer a question from Cora wondering how companies buy other companies when Borpo, host of Learning with Borpo, one of YouTube’s most popular pre-K educational shows, turned up, out of nowhere, and said he wants to buy Million Bazillion. There’s a lot to process right now.
RYAN: Borpo, I don’t really get why this makes sense. You’re a guy in suspenders who likes to do a little dance, and we’re serious podcasters who do that tone like, “We wanted to know more about money, so we decided… to learn a little more”, what do you want with us?
BORPO: Well Ryan, I’m so ga-la-ddd you asked that! I want to buy Million Bazillion for that exact reason! See, my Pulitzer and Peabody-winning show is only a small part of my media juggernaut, Borpo Incorporated! And our mission is to teach kids about a lot of different things! And kids want to learn about money!
RYAN: Yeah, we know, we host a whole podcast about it, and kids send us questions all the time, and they’re really good insightful questions that are always harder to answer than you might think!
BORPO: But I don’t have anyone on my team who knows anything about money! And you guys are the most trusted show about money for kids out there! Really high caliber work! I’ve also always loved your regular segment, Asking Random Kids Not So Random Questions. If I buy Million Bazillion, I’ll get that too! You could answer money questions for me! And be part of the Borpo Incorporated family. Wouldn’t you like that?
RYAN: What’s so good about being a part of the Borpo Incorporated family?
BORPO: (GIGGLES) Oh Ryan! We could give you more resources to make your show, and to expand beyond podcasts. Think about it. Video. Short video. Reels. Snippets. Quibis. Who knows, maybe even a theme park some day. And we all do a photo shoot in matching sweaters at the end of the year!
RYAN: [NONPLUSSED] Oh, great.
BRIDGET: Well, Borpo, we’re really flattered but I think we need to talk to some trusted advisers about this. I’m gonna have to call…our lawyer.
BORPO: Yahoo! I’m going to do a little dance! And when your lawyer is ready to talk to our lawyer, give us a call!
SFX: HOKEY MUSIC AND BORPO VOCALIZING A QUICK DANCE AS HE WALKS AWAY
BRIDGET/RYAN: OK, bye Borpo. Talk soon. /See you later./ There’s the door.
SFX DOOR SLAMS
RYAN: Okay, now that he’s gone…do we even have a lawyer?
BRIDGET: No, but we’re gonna need one. Stat.
SFX: TIME PASSED STING/BATMAN STING
SFX: OFFICE HUBBUB, PHONES RINGING
BRIDGET: Okay, based on my research, Karri and Barry are the best M&A lawyers out there. Within our budget, I mean. And they had time to meet with us today.
RECEPTIONIST: Karri and Barry will see you now. Just head down the hallway, they’re in the big conference room at the end. You can’t miss ‘em.
SFX: FOOTSTEPS WALKING
RYAN: Oh boy. Karri and Barry? What are they, a singing duo from the 1980s?
BRIDGET: [WHISPERS] Look, the deal is, they’re lawyers, but they’re also married, to each other. We’re just gonna hear what they have to say. I’m not saying we do this merger, I’m saying we explore our options. Is this a good idea for us? Is this good for our listeners? I don’t know the answers, but I want to at least find out.
KARRI: Bridget! And Ryan!
BARRY: I feel like we’re friends already!
KARRI: We’ve read up on your situation–
BARRY: And the offer from Borpo–
KARRI: And it all looks like we’ve got lots to talk about today! Will they or won’t they, you know what I mean? [LAUGHS]
BARRY: I know I do! [LAUGHS]
RYAN: I don’t know what’s going on.
BRIDGET: Uh, yeah, we have questions. Like why is Borpo so interested in buying our show?
KARRI: Okay, sit down, we’ll take it all from here. Now we work on Mergers and Acquisitions–
BARRY: All. Day. long.
KARRI: M&A involves two companies, coming together, to be better together than they would be alone.
BARRY: Sometimes two companies want to band together to compete with a third company in the same market.
KARRI: Two is stronger than one! Am I right??
BARRY: Great point babe!
KARRI: Thanks, babe! (AIR KISS)
BARRY: Sometimes a company wants to buy a company that’s part of their supply chain. Like when a shoe company decides to buy the company that makes their shoelaces.
KARRI: We were tied up with that one for months!
BARRY: (CHUCKLES) And sometimes a company just has something another company wants: a really devoted customer base in a very specific geographical area, patents for important things, expertise!
BRIDGET: That’s us, that’s our situation. Borpo said he wants our expertise in answering questions kids have about money. We’re a known and trusted brand, and we have this really good regular segment called Asking Random Kids Not So Random Questions.
RYAN: Look, we get why this is a good deal for Borpo, but why would it be a good deal for us?
KARRI: There’s Ryan, with the tough journalist questions. I bet you’re the brains of the operation right? And Bridget’s there to be silly?
RYAN: Well, uh, yeah, I think you could say that.
BRIDGET: Hey!
KARRI: Sometimes a company wants to sell itself because its owner wants to, you know –
BARRY: Retire or do something else. The owner gets a nice pot of money, and spends the rest of their days relaxing in between mah jong games -
KARRI: (OVERLAPPING) In between mah jong games.
BARRY: (CHUCKLES) Those are easy deals. I could do those in my sleep.
SFX: MUX: 70s ABBA INSPIRED EXPLAINER MUSIC
KARRI: Yes you could, you’re so great! Then there are public companies. You know, the ones that sell little shares or pieces of their companies to SHAREHOLDERS through STOCKS. When a public company gets a serious offer, they have to review it. To see if it could be good for their shareholder’s financial interests. One company can have hundreds of shareholders, so you can see how that would get complicated fast!
BARRY: So complicated, my honey bunny! You see, the buying company is really offering to buy out the shares of all those shareholders. So they’re going to try to offer something that shareholders think is a better deal than continuing to hold that stock. And they’re going to have to convince the MAJORITY of the shareholders.
KARRI: But I know what you’re thinking.
RYAN: You do?
KARRI: Sure. You’re thinking, what about me, what about Ryan and Bridget? Well whether it’s good for you and your long term goals for Million Bazillion–
BARRY That’ll depend on what you negotiate with Borpo.
BRIDGET: Negotiate? For what? We know his offer, it’s here on this piece of paper.
BARRY: Tsk tsk tsk, the money is only ONE PART of the equation. There’s lots of other things to consider. That’s what we do for you. We’ll help negotiate terms, and then when we have Borpo’s best and final offer, you can decide if you’re gonna take the deal.
KARRI: Take. That. Deal! Or Not! It’s really up to you. And you should start by deciding, what do YOU want out of this deal. Why would you want to sell?
BARRY: Only you two can decide what you want! But we could give you some hints. Maybe you want a big payout? And you’re ready to walk away from Million Bazillion if you get enough cash.
BRIDGET: Well, I wouldn’t hate that. I could use that money to help fund some other projects I’ve wanted to do. Like my deep dive narrative non fiction podcast about proper receipt organization?
BARRY: See! But if you weren’t ready to leave Million Bazillion yet, you could also negotiate a certain amount of time where you stay with the show, they can’t fire you.
RYAN: Can’t fire us? Why would firing us be on the table at all? Um hello, Borpo wants to buy us.
BARRY: Well, once Borpo owns your show, he can do whatever he wants.
KARRI: Or maybe when you merge companies, Borpo realizes certain people at his company are doing the same job as people who work for your show and he doesn’t need to keep them all. So some of your colleagues may lose their jobs in layoffs. This is true when small companies or ginormous companies come together. They call it “eliminating redundancies.”
RYAN: Dang, that’s cold, Jay.
BRIDGET: Uh, okay, hold on one second. I need to confer with Ryan. [WHISPERING] Ryan, do you want to sell to Borpo?
RYAN: [WHISPERING] I mean, not really. I don’t want anybody to lose their job, especially not us. And I don’t really like Borpo.
BRIDGET: [WHISPERING] But we could at least find out how much money we’re talking about here, right? And what else the deal includes?
RYAN: [WHISPERING] Well, okay, but I say that with reservations!
BRIDGET: So we would like to move forward. But Ryan and I want a lot of money. Our show has a ton of really loyal and smart listeners. We want to be paid what we’re worth and we want to keep making Million Bazillion for as long as we want. What now, what does the negotiation part involve?
BARRY: That’s where the fax machine comes in.
(MUSIC: 90s SYNTH)
RYAN: A fax machine? I haven’t seen one of those since I had frosted tips.
BARRY: A fax machine is like sending an email, but using the phone line, and the message comes out a sort of printer. And it’s how we’re going to send our list of demands – uh, points of negotiation – to team Borpo.
BRIDGET: Does it have to be a fax machine? Wouldn’t email be faster?
KARRI: Of course it would be! But where’s the fun in that?
BARRY: (OVERLAPPING) But where’s the fun in that?
SFX: KEYPAD NUMBERS
SFX: FAX MACHINE DIAL UP
SFX: FAX INTAKE (LIKE A PRINTER)
KARRI: Okay, here we go. First, Borpo offered you a certain amount of money for Million Bazillion. We’re going to reply that we want triple his offer and he has to make you both Co-Presidents of Borpo Incorporated.
BRIDGET: Oh, but I don’t even know if I want to be co-president of Borpo incorporated. Though three times his offer would be nice.
KARRI: Don’t worry about it. We’re just beginning negotiations.
When we do this for big public companies, this part can take mooooonths. And send.
SFX: FAX MACHINE BEEP
BRIDGET: So what happens now?
KARRI: Somewhere at Borpo Incorporated headquarters, they’re reading our demands, and figuring out a counter offer.
SFX FAX MACHINE BEEP
SFX: FAX MACHINE DIAL
SFX FAX MACHINE READ OUT
SFX: BOUNCY BORPO INCORPORATED MUSIC
BOARD MEMBER 1: Fax just came in! The Million Bazillion kids want (READING) three times our offer and to become co-presidents of Borpo Incorporated!
BORPO: Golly-gee! That’s a big ask! How about we promise Bridget and Ryan a travel budget for going to more exciting locations for their podcast, and they can become Co Senior Hosts of Million Bazillion?
BOARD MEMBER 1: Sending now!
SFX: FAX MACHINE BEEP
SFX: FAX MACHINE DIAL
SFX: FAX MACHINE READ OUT
KARRI: Okay, we’re getting somewhere! Hmm, they’re not budging on price–
BRIDGET: Oh no, did we ask for too much?
KARRI: But they’re willing to give you a travel budget.
RYAN: That sounds pretty good, I’ve been wanting to go to Phoenix to get this jacket I left there.
KARRI: Oh and a modest title bump. Let’s send back that you’re guaranteed to host for at least…10 more seasons.
SFX: FAX MACHINE BEEP
SFX: FAX MACHINE DIAL
SFX: FAX MACHINE READ OUT
SFX: BOUNCY BORPO MUSIC
BOARD MEMBER 1 [LAUGHING] Ten more seasons? Let’s say we’ll give them five more seasons and a deal to do cameos in future seasons.
SFX: FAX MACHINE BEEP
SFX: FAX MACHINE DIAL
SFX: FAX MACHINE READ OUT
KARRI: Oh this is interesting, they’re offering you five more seasons and then a pretty good deal to appear in future episodes of the Asking Random Kids Not So Random Questions spinoff show as special guest stars.
RYAN: Special guest stars? So he does want to fire us! I knew it!
BARRY: Well, when one company buys another company, it might not need ALL the parts of that company. Borpo might have some other host that already works for his company that he thinks could be a good fit.
RYAN: Yeah, I’ll bet that host has orange glasses and suspenders and does a little dance!
KARRI: Hey, sweetums, take Bridget and Ryan for a walk, they need to start pulling together all the paperwork we’re gonna need. . I’ll handle the fax machine here.
BARRY: You got it, toots. Right this way, first we’re going to stop over in accounting. You brought your accounting books right?
SFX: ELEVATOR DING
SFX: VIGOROUS ADDING MACHINE
(MUSIC: FRANTIC, DIZZYING SCORE)
BRIDGET: Uh, yeah, we are very diligent when it comes to keeping track of expenses. But why do you need these again?
BARRY: This part is called Due Diligence. We’re going to make sure Borpo has the cash to pay what he says he will for Million Bazillion, and you two need to prove your company is worth what you say it is.
[SHOUTING] Order up! I’ve got accounts for Million Bazillion here!
ACCOUNTANT: I’ll take it!
BARRY: Okay, now on to Compliance.
SFX: ELEVATOR DING
SFX: SHUFFLING OF BOOKS
RYAN: Compliance? What are we complying to?
CATHY: Did somebody say compliance?
SFX: SALOON DOORS OPENING
SFX: FREEWHEELING TO NASHVILLE
BRIDGET: Who’s this lady with her own karaoke kit and a jacket with more fringe than Dolly Parton’s?
BARRY: Meet Cathy. She’s in charge of compliance.
BRIDGET: Whoa, is there about to be a song??
CATHY: Okay you two.
When two companies want to make a deal
It’s very clear,
And the rules are real.
Uncle Sam will not permit.
A merger deal that makes life worse.
In fact to this, they’re quite averse.
If there’s chance you’ll form a monopoly
The Feds will shut this down quite choppily
If your deal means there’s less competition
You’ll find the Feds make it their mission
SPEAKING: To shut it down before it closes
My job is thinking about compliance
And it’s not really an exact science
We’ll do a whole lot of due diligence
Carried out with great experience
And in the end, if this goes through
Great wealth you’ll both accrue
CATHY, SPEAKING: Do you have any questions?
BRIDGET: So you’re saying, you’ll check to make sure that nothing about this sale will raise alarms with the U.S. government, because if they thought a merger might mean fewer options and higher prices for US citizens, they would shut the deal down?
CATHY: Yeah, that’s right. I don’t think you really have anything to worry about. I was really looking over this deal on my break from working on an actually-important deal involving a bunch of entertainment companies. No one’s really going to care if Borpo Incorporated buys Million Bazillion.
BRIDGET: [KIND OF SAD] Oh, yeah, sure, no, totally. Just wondering. Kinda big picture.
KARRI: [THROUGH WALKIE TALKIE] Barry! It’s Karri. Get Bridget and Ryan back up here. We’ve come to a deal! Let’s go over it!
BRIDGET: What? Already?
RYAN: Wow, I guess this is it. We figure out if we’re selling to Borpo or not, and staying on as hosts of this show or not. Right after this.
MIDROLL
SFX: FOUNTAIN
SFX: PIGEONS
SFX: CITY SOUNDS
SFX: RANDALL CALLING OUT: (OFF-MIC) Hot Dogs! Hot Dogs! Get your Hot Dogs!
BRIDGET: Welcome back everyone, you’re listening to Million Bazillion.
RYAN: Well, for now you are. We’re eating lunch outside of the office of our merger and acquisitions lawyers after a long negotiation about the sale of Million Bazillion to Borpo, the creator of educational shows for pre schoolers.
BRIDGET: Borpo’s deal would mean Ryan and I get a big payout. And then he wants us to turn Asking Random Kids into its own show on YouTube.
RYAN: He wants us to do more episodes that involve us going on tours of factories, and he wants us to stay on as the faces, er, voices of Million Bazillion for another five years.
BRIDGET: But after that, he owns the show free and clear, and he doesn’t even have to keep us around as the hosts.
RYAN: Yeah, that’s the thing, once you sell your company, you don’t get to decide what happens to it after. Plus I gotta say, I’m not really that excited at the the idea of working for Borpo.
BRIDGET: He’s really not that bad. If we were a big public company, our next step would be presenting the deal to our shareholders, and letting them vote on whether or not we should accept it.
RYAN: I just don’t know, Bridget, how do we know if a merger is the right decision here?
RANDALL: Sounds like you two need some perspective.
RYAN: Excuse me?
RANDALL: You two need some historical perspective. Name’s Randall, I sell hotdogs at this plaza to people just like you, all day long.
RYAN: You sell hotdogs to the hosts of podcasts that teach kids about money and the economy?
RANDALL: Uh, no, to people who are thinking about buying or selling a company. On account of the law offices being right here you know?
RYAN: Oh, right.
BRIDGET: Nice to meet you. I’m Bridget, this is Ryan.
RANDALL: You’re trying to decide if the deal you’re being offered “cuts the mustard.” [CHUCKLES TO SELF] That’s a little hot dog humor for ya.
BRIDGET: Oh, right.
RANDALL: Y’know, there’s a lot to be learned from the history of mergers and acquisitions. There’s plenty of examples of companies that have been bought and sold inside these very buildings. I should know, I’ve seen ‘em all. Sold hot dogs to some of their people too.
RYAN: Really? Like what companies?
SFX/MUSIC: 2000s MUSIC, VIBES OF BRITANY SPEARS OR COUNTING CROWS
RANDALL: I’ll start with the most famous example of all, Time Warner and AOL.
RYAN: Warner, wait, isn’t that a movie studio merging today with Paramount Skydance?
RANDALL: Yes, but lemme finish. Time Warner was a media company that was created after a merger between a magazine company and another media company that included a cable company, a record label, and a comic book publisher.
RYAN: Mergers upon mergers!
RANDALL: Exactly! In the year 2000, after a year of negotiations and government overview, Time Warner merged with AOL, a company that sold dial up internet. That meant people kinda called up the internet, using a phone line, when they wanted to go online. Remember? It made this wonderful sound-
SFX: DIAL UP INTERNET TONE
SFX: AOL’s YOU’VE GOT MAIL
RYAN: Ah yes, the hottest way to connect to the internet, until it wasn’t.
RANDALL: Everyone thought this merger was a great idea. They called it “AOL TIME Warner.” It was meant to be a media powerhouse merging with the business of the future. Nothing could go wrong!
BRIDGET: I feel a but coming..
RANDALL: BUT THEN…a new faster way to connect to the internet took over. And poof, [SFX: MAGIC POOF ] AOL suddenly wasn’t worth anything. And Time Warner was saddled with an expensive goose egg of nothing. Only a few years later, the company dropped “AOL” from its name.
BRIDGET: I don’t want that to happen to us!
SFX: MUSIC THAT FEELS LIKE TOY STORY SCORE
RANDALL: But then there are success stories. Think of Disney and Pixar. Disney had a reputation for being the King of great kids entertainment but people felt they were losing their golden touch. Then you had this upstart, Pixar. They were using computers to tell stories driven by emotion, with great characters and interesting plots. Disney buys Pixar, and poof. You could say Pixar helped Disney “KETCH-UP” to their former glory. Ya ever heard of Frozen? That’s a Disney movie that Pixar’s best helped out on.
RYAN: That’s not bad. And think, without this merger, we might not have had Cars 2.
RANDALL: Then you’ve got Ben and Jerry’s, the ice cream company known for being outspoken about social issues. Their story is a tale of warning for company founders.
SFX: GRATEFUL DEAD KNOCKOFF MUSIC
RANDALL: The two founders, Ben and Jerry sold their highly popular ice cream brand to Unilever in the year 2000. Unilever sells everything from soap to soups. The deal kept Ben and Jerry on staff, but over time, Ben and Jerry’s came to disagree with some of the decisions their big corporate boss was making. And, there wasn’t much Ben and Jerry could do about it. In 2025, Unilever spun off all its ice cream brands into a stand alone ice cream company. Ben and Jerry of Ben and Jerry’s didn’t end up thinking the deal was too sweet, but again, not much they can do.
BRIDGET: Wow, this is really giving us a lot to think about.
RANDALL: I RELISH being of assistance to you.
RYAN: Thank you, kind sir.
SFX: ALARM BEEPING
BRIDGET: Oh, we better get going.
RANDALL: You’re not gonna buy a hot dog?
BRIDGET: Sorry no, we’re supposed to get back in there and tell the lawyers what we want to do about this deal.
RYAN: You know, after having this time to think about it, I think I know which way I’d vote.
BRIDGET: Yeah, me too. Are we thinking the same thing?
RYAN: I think we are.
BRIDGET: Well, let’s announce it to our listeners, right after this.
RANDALL: (OFF-MIC) Hot dog! Anyone want an actual hot dog, not just a history of famous mergers?
-MINI SEG-
SFX: ELEVATOR DING
SFX: BORPO THEME MUSIC
RECEPTIONIST: Welcome to Borpo Incorporated. Can I help you?
RYAN: Yes, we’re Ryan and Bridget, here to see Borpo. He’s expecting us.
RECEPTIONIST: Of course. Just follow the big blue arrows on the floor until you get to the conference room. It’s Banana themed, you can’t miss it.
SFX: FOOTSTEPS
BRIDGET: Okay Ryan, are you ready for this?
RYAN: As ready as I can be. Who designs a conference room to look like a banana?
SFX: LARGE GLASS DOOR OPENING
BORPO: Bridget! Ryan! Just the folks I wanted to see! –
RYAN: [QUICKLY] Borpo, we’ve put a lot of thought into this offer, obviously negotiations went many rounds, I think we came up with a deal that both sides would have found value in, but there was one last thing to consider - should we do it? Bridget and I, we’ve come to a decision. I’m just going to say it. (DEEP BREATH) We–
BORPO: Wait wait! I’ve got news I’ve got to share first. It turns out, I’ve had an offer from a private equity firm!
RYAN: Private equity?? You mean like the folks who take an existing company and just kinda make it run cheaper so it makes more money in the future?
BRIDGET: Well sorta, private equity firms invest in companies that aren’t public with the hope of making money from that investment.
BORPO: Yeah! Say hello to Private Equity Pete, he’s standing right there in the corner!
PRIVATE EQUITY PETE: Hello! Private Equity Pete, nice to meet you.
BORPO: He’s got some great ideas to jump start my company. You know, taking us to the next level, and beyond! They want to take us public! But we’re looking for ways to streamline right now and I can’t take on any new projects. So maybe Million Bazillion will find a home with Borpo Incorporated in the future, but for now, a big deal like this is gonna have to be on hold while we go through this private equity process.
BRIDGET: What? After all that, you don’t want to buy us after all?
BORPO: [GIGGLES] I guess not!
PRIVATE EQUITY PETE: Yeah, don’t buy these guys. And I made a list of employees you should lay off, (SFX: PAPER RUSTLING) starting with Tess in the accounting department.
BORPO: But I like Tess! She gave me so many good ideas!
PRIVATE EQUITY PETE: Yeah, I know, it’s saaaad. But her position will no longer be necessary. She’s gotta go.
BORPO: Hoo boy, firing people is gonna make me uncomfortable for a minute, but Borpo needs to do what Borpo needs to do to make his empire even bigger. It makes me want to do a little dance, but sad.
(SLOWED-DOWN VERSION OF BORPO’S DANCE MUSIC)
RYAN: So, as far as Million Bazillion’s concerned, our deal’s off? The money’s off the table?
BORPO: [GIGGLES] I guess so! But hey, can I offer you some banana bread on your way out?
RYAN: Come on Bridget, let’s take our banana bread and go.
BRIDGET: Yeah, and it better have walnuts in it!
BRIDGET AND RYAN GRUMBLING
SFX DOORS
SFX: ELEVATOR DING
SFX: ELEVATOR MUZAK
BRIDGET: Okay Ryan, so what did we learn from all this?
RYAN: That we’re never, ever going to get rich. Even when we’re close enough to reach out and touch it, the opportunity always gets snatched away from us!
BRIDGET: But I mean - did we at least answer Cora’s question?
(EXPLAINER MUSIC)
RYAN: Oh yeah, well, let’s see. Companies can buy other companies, through something called mergers and acquisitions. The people who get to make these deals are thinking about what’s best for them, not so much what a deal could mean for customers or the American public. Will it create a monopoly, or let companies operate in unfair ways? Will things get more expensive? These are big questions that are worth asking. And sometimes, those attempts to buy another company fail all together, and the folks involved have nothing to show for it but a somewhat claggy piece of banana bread.
BRIDGET: Yeah. Mergers and acquisitions are always going to be one way that companies try to make themselves stronger and more competitive for the future. The goal is to make a company work better. We hope that means good things, like lower prices, innovations, and making it easier to get our hands on stuff we want to buy. But a merger can have some downsides too, like when jobs are eliminated because of it, or when the spirit of what made a something great, gets crushed all together.
(END EXPLAINER MUSIC)
BRIDGET: Hey, I know this didn’t turn out the way we thought it would, but at least we got a little cash from Borpo because he had to pay us a termination fee for pulling out of the deal.
RYAN: So wait one minute. That means we have a little extra cash… to buy a company.
BRIDGET: No, we’re not doing that.
RYAN: Please, let’s buy Warner Brothers!
BRIDGET: No! They’ve already been bought.
RYAN: No come on, let’s buy Warner Brothers! They got Bugs Bunny!
BRIDGET: No, no. No no no, we’re done here, roll credits!
-THEME MUSIC-
RYAN: [HURRIED] That’s all for this episode of Million Bazillion, all about mergers and acquisitions. We’ll be back with more Million Bazillion next week!
BRIDGET: Keep sending us your questions and ideas for episodes at Marketplace dot org slash million.
RYAN: Hey kids and grown ups, if you enjoy this podcast, consider signing up for our tipsheet newsletter. Get more information about the topic covered in every episode RIGHT to your email inbox, plus conversation starters so you have more important money conversations at home.
BRIDGET: We very much appreciate the expertise of Afra Afsharipour, Professor of Law at UC Davis School of Law. I bet she doesn’t think we should buy Warner Brothers.
RYAN: Ok, then how about Disney.
BRIDGET: We’re not doing that.
RYAN: They got Daffy Duck.
BRIDGET: It’s not Daffy, that’s Donald, No. We can’t afford it.
RYAN: Million Bazillion is produced by Marketplace from American Public Media. This episode was written by Bridget Bodnar and hosted by Bridget and me, Ryan Perez.
BRIDGET: Our senior producer is Marissa Cabrera. Our editor is Jasmine Romero. Our intern is I-Yun Chan. This episode was sound designed by Sam Bair and mixed by Charlton Thorp. Our theme music was created by Wonderly.
RYAN: I want to buy Disney.
BRIDGET: Nope, not in your lifetime.
RYAN: And special thanks to the folks who leant their voices to this episode: Courtney Bergsieker, Marissa Cabrera, I-Yun Chan, Henry Epp, Joe Farrel, Jon Gordon, Mitchell Hartman, Hayley Hershman, Maria Hollenhorst, Dylan Mietinnen, and Carly Layne Shaver.
RYAN Cont: Bridget Bodnar is the Director of Podcasts at Marketplace. Joanne Griffith is the Chief Content Officer. Neal Scarbrough is the VP and General Manager.
BRIDGET: Million Bazillion is funded in part by the Sy Syms Foundation, partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985. And special thanks to The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance for providing the start-up funding for this podcast.
RYAN: If Million Bazillion is helping your family have important conversations about money, consider making a one-time donation today at marketplace-dot-org-slash-givemillion, and thanks for your support.
RYAN: Ok, how about something in retail. Costco. Let’s buy Costco! Then we’d be allowed to have unlimited samples.
BRIDGET: Absolutely not! We can’t afford to buy Costco either.
RYAN: We could have the little hot dogs.
BRIDGET: The hot dogs are big, okay, you can’t handle all those hot dogs.
RYAN: The sample hot dogs, the little ones.
BRIDGET: The sample hot dogs are small, yeah.
The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance, supports Marketplace’s work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy. Next Gen Personal Finance is a non-profit that believes all students benefit from having a financial education before they cross the stage at high school graduation.
The Sy Syms Foundation: Partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985.
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