Apple's record quarterly profits come with a few setbacks for the maker of the iPhone.

How bananas? Way WAY bananas.

Apple's formula is classic: Buy low, sell high — over and over and over.

Let's just say that Apple could bail out a country.

Head into the low light, Carol Ann

But how realistic are those ambitions?

What's your book going to be about? I'm thinking a zombie-kangaroo-road-trip thingy will sell well.

Now: how to pay for those iPads…hmmm…

That means iY-O-U

Apple prepares to step into murky waters.