If you work in an office, chances are you’ve run into one. There are TV shows about them. There are movies about them. And there are definitely horror stories about them.

We’re talking middle managers here, the ones who have just enough power to be really annoying. A McSweeney’s contributor imagines what corporate and senior managers say to themselves, standing in front of a full-length mirror, flexing their muscles. Listen to the audio above to hear the middle manager’s oath.