Companies have lots of ways of optimizing for the best results. Big data, customer satisfaction and good old cost-benefit analysis are, of course, the buzz words of the moment. 

As writer Josh Freedman made clear in a story at McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, they are popping up everywhere: 

Susan, we need to talk. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. About us. I really like you, but ever since we met in that econ class in college I knew there was something missing from how I felt: quantitative reasoning. We can say we love each other all we want, but I just can’t trust it without the data. And after performing an in-depth cost-benefit analysis of our relationship, I just don’t think this is working out.

Listen to his piece adapted for the radio in the player above.