Bridget convinces Ryan to launch a new side business, solving money problems. Today’s problem: a local fifth-grader is facing competition with her slime business from a rival school. Could a tariff help solve her problem? With the help of a not-so-spooky-ghost, they’ll learn what tariffs are, and why they make the price of things go up, and how tariffs can lead to … a trade war.
After you listen to the episode, here are some questions and conversation starters you can use with your kid listener to see how much they’ve learned about tariffs:
What do you think about tariffs? Are they good or bad? When do you think you’d want to use tariffs, if you were in charge of a country?
What happens during a trade war?
How much would you spend to buy Robin’s special glitter slime?
Is there another way Robin could have solved her slime pricing problem?
Ask your child to check the tag on their clothes or shoes and discuss where they were made.
*Bonus* Not-So-Random Question: What’s the best coin?
For listeners who want to keep learning more, we’ve got ideas!
If you like thinking about tariffs and their effects, take a look at this article from Investopedia about how tariffs work.
For our younger listeners, watch this video from CBC Kids News that breaks down U.S. tariffs on Canadian goods.
For our older listeners, check out this video from the Council on Foreign Relations Education about the 1930 Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act.
If you’re interested in tracking tariffs in your household, check out this continually updated tariff tracker from Marketplace.
If you’re looking to expand your knowledge about all things money, business and the economy, sign up for the Million Bazillion Academy.
Thanks for listening to this episode! If your kid listener has any money problems they want Ryan and Bridget to solve next, send them to us using this online form.
This episode is sponsored by Greenlight. Sign up for Greenlight today at greenlight.com/million.
Cold Open:
(SFX: EMPTY CARDBOARD BOXES, DUCT TAPE RIPPING, SOUNDS OF CRAFT/BUILDING ACTION HAPPENING, MARKER SQUEAKING ON PAPER)
BRIDGET: (MUTTERING TO SELF) Oh yeah, this is perfect, this looks real good.
RYAN: Bridget, have you seen my lunchbox? It’s the Darth Maul one that was in the office fridge, and now I can’t find it.
BRIDGET: Oh sure, I’ve got it right here! It’s such a nice day, I thought we could eat lunch OUTSIDE for once. Like European people do in movies.
RYAN: Okay…But why are we sitting on the same side of the table facing the sidewalk? And what’s this giant sign you’re working on? “Solve over sandwiches–” hey, what is this??
BRIDGET: Okay so I had this great idea. Sure, we’re amazing at answering questions about money. But maybe it’s time we take it to the next level and start SOLVING our listener’s PROBLEMS with money.
RYAN: Uh-huh.
BRIDGET: And since we don’t have any extra time for this, I figured we can do it on our lunch break in between answering questions. That’s why I’m calling it Solve Over Sandwiches! I am still workshopping the name.
RYAN: Wait, so we’re selling sandwiches?
BRIDGET: No, no, we’re SOLVING money issues. While we eat sandwiches. Because it’s lunch.
RYAN: Solve Over Sandwiches sounds like a name for a sandwich store though.
BRIDGET: Sure, but we’re not selling sandwiches, we’re giving away free, but still excellent solutions to money problems. Over lunch.
RYAN: Yeah, but I just want to eat my lunch over lunch, I don’t want to work!
BRIDGET: Oh, come on, this is gonna be fun! I promise we’ll only pick problems that we can actually solve during our allotted lunch break time.
RYAN: Uh-huh.
BRIDGET: Oh, look, our first customers! Hey, hey! Over here!
KID 4: Are you guys selling sandwiches? I want one!
KID 1: Yeah, I’ll take a pastrami on rye.
KID 4: Ooh ooh, I want peanut butter and jelly on wheat!
BRIDGET: Sorry, no sandwiches here, but do you have any money problems we can help you solve?
KID 1: Not really. Just wanted a sandwich.
(SFX: CAR SLOWING DOWN)
KID 2: (FROM DISTANCE) Hey, how much for a Solve Over Sandwich?
BRIDGET: Sorry, we’re not a sandwich shop.
(SFX: CROWD HUBBUB FORMING)
KID 3: Oooo, a new sandwich place! Let’s all run there at once!
RYAN: Oh boy.
–Theme Music–
RYAN: Welcome to Million Bazillion everyone, I’m Ryan.
BRIDGET: And I’m Bridget, and we help dollars make more sense! Unless we’re on our lunch break, in which case, we can SOLVE your money problems! Over Sandwiches! That’s why we’re called Solve Over Sandwiches! Sandwiches not included.
(SFX: DISAPPOINTED CROWD)
RYAN: Sorry, everybody! We’re still workshopping the name!
BRIDGET: Hopefully we get a good problem to solve soon.
(SFX: WALKING UP AMBI)
RYAN: With lunch break time ticking down, this is the perfect time to bite into my double decker jelly and muenster cheese pickle sandwich. (CHOMPS)
ROBIN: Uh, are you the people who solve the money problems?
RYAN: [MOUTH FULL] Uh, yeah, that’s us! Hold on, sorry. Wait, lemme chew a little more. [SWALLOW, CLEARS THROAT] Tell us, what’s the money problem you’re facing?
ROBIN: My name’s Robin. I’m in the fifth grade and I started a slime business at school.
BRIDGET: Ooh, that’s very go-get-em of you!
ROBIN: Yeah well, I make the slime myself in the science lab. My trademark is that I add glitter, it looks really cool.
BRIDGET: Love that.
ROBIN: And then I sell the slime to my fellow students.
BRIDGET: So, what’s the problem?
ROBIN: I sell my slime for $3 a jar - I can’t go any lower than that or I wouldn’t make enough money to stay in business!
BRIDGET: $3 a jar though, that’s not bad.
ROBIN: But there’s this other kid at school who buys slime for one dollar a jar from South Bay Elementary across town. Then she sells it back at our school for $2 a jar. I can’t compete!
BRIDGET: That’s a nice little profit she’s making! So how come the slime from South Bay Elementary costs a whole dollar less than yours?
ROBIN: Eh, their school pays for an unlimited supply of white glue, and they have the kindergartners make it.
RYAN: Have you thought about getting in on this school-subsidized slime business? Maybe YOU could buy slime from South Bay Elementary and sell it too?
ROBIN: No way. Making and selling slime from scratch is my dream. And I want to be known as the town’s biggest Slime Ball, but in a good way! But how am I supposed to do that when I’ve got to compete with two-dollar slime made across town!
RYAN: Welp, yeah, that’s a big dilemma you have there, Robin. Probably would take more than 30 minutes to solve though. Wish we could help!
(SFX: COLONIAL FIFE AND DRUMS STARTS TO FADE UP UNDER BRIDGET LINE)
BRIDGET: Wait, wait, wait. So, Robin wants to figure out how to make her slime business more successful. There must be a solution here. We just need to THINK!
RYAN: Where’s that old colonial music coming from?
(SFX: GENII POP/ MAGICAL MUSIC)
GHOST: I think I can help.
BRIDGET: AHHH! It’s a ghost in colonial garb!
RYAN: Wait, is that friend of the show, ghost of Alexander Hamilton??
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: [SPUTTERING] What? No! Alexander Ham– I should think not! No, no, it is I, fourth president of the United States, James Madison!
BRIDGET RYAN ROBIN: Oh… Cool.
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: I may not impart pop history lessons through hip-hoperea like SOME founding statesmen who DIDN’T become President. But I’ve got a solution for you! It’ll solve everything. Get ready for it, how about a…TARIFF!
[SFX CRICKETS]
ROBIN: What’s that?
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Just one trade policy that I was deeply involved with back when I was an active member of American politics.
BRIDGET: Whoa, did you INVENT these tariffs?
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: No…. But you know what, Alexander Hamilton didn’t invent them either! I just thought they were a really good idea and used them a lot when I was president. What are they even teaching you kids in your James Madison 101 classes??
ROBIN: Uh, that’s not a class.
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: (GASPS) Whaaaaaaa?
BRIDGET: Ahem, I think what Robin is trying to say is…tell us more about tariffs and how they might solve Robin’s problem.
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Of course. A tariff is an extra charge, or tax, that countries put on goods made somewhere else, like in another country. Also goes by the name of duty!
RYAN: [CHUCKLING IN BACKGROUND] Duty! Huhuhuh.
BRIDGET: Wow, okay well. And how will this help Robin? She’s not a country, she’s a kid? Tariffs are things a country uses, right?
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: I’ll explain everything, I just need a quick moment to straighten my powdered wig! Tell me, is Hamilton’s wig more powdery than mine?
RYAN: Uh, you guys are about the same.
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Really? Cause I think mine’s more powdery.
BRIDGET: Okay, uh…we’ll learn more about tariffs…when we come back. After this.
–ARK–
KIMBERLY: And now … it’s time for Asking Random Kids Not-So-Random Questions … Today’s question is: What’s the best coin and why?
The best coin is the penny. It has a different color than all the rest of the coins.
The 25 cents one ‘cause there was a Simpsons game at a restaurant, and it was 25 cents.
The half dollar coin because it’s worth half a dollar.
I would rather like the quarter because it has the first president on it.
I’d have to say the silver dollar because I think they’re awesome.
KIMBERLY: That was …
Elinor in Nebraska
Connor in California
Joshua in California
Willa in Nebraska
Kai in Florida
This has been Asking Random Kids Not-So-Random Questions.
Part 1:
RYAN: And we’re back. So just to catch you up, I’ve finished my sandwich and am now moving on to my pudding cup.
BRIDGET: Yeah, but in terms of today’s question so far, we’re trying to help neighborhood-friend-of-the-show Robin solve a problem, the solution to which apparently involves the ghost of James Madison and something called tariffs.
ROBIN: Tariffs are an extra tax we put on something made in another country.
BRIDGET: Very good, Robin! Yeah, the ghost of James Madison was about to explain to all of us how tariffs could help you grow your business. Say, Ghost-Madison, we’ve actually had the ghost of Alexander Hamilton on the show before and he sang a whole song, do you also have a song to help us learn this lesson?
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: No, no, pfft, that’s sooo like Hamilton. Total theater kid. No, no, I’m not one for light rapping, but I do have a humble story that I’d like to share now that my wig is on straight…
(MUX: GLISSANDO FADE INTO)
(MUX: MILD FIFE AND DRUM PATRIOTIC MUSIC)
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Let me take you back to the years after the American Revolutionary War. We white men were deciding how the country would be run. There was so much to do!
VO 1: Should we have our own currency, or no?
VO 2: That’s a hard yes!
VO 1: What about a central bank?
VO 2: Ummmmm….
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Your buddy Hamilton had an idea for a way we could raise a bunch of money to help pay for all the stuff we wanted to do. Hammy says to us, he says, “Why don’t we take all the goods coming into our country, imports they’re called, and just put a small tariff on them?”
RYAN: How’s that going to help?
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: See, business owners are responsible for paying tariffs to the government when they bring those goods into the country. And then the government gets to keep that tariff money. So, Hamilton’s idea was that this little extra tax could help the government raise money. As long as the tariff was a nice, reasonable amount.
RYAN: Well, how much is a nice reasonable tariff amount?
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Oh, y’know, 3%, 5%. Just not so high as to stop people from buying. Because if the American business importing those goods has to pay a little extra at the border, they’re probably going to raise prices for their customers to make that money back.
BRIDGET: Oh right, that makes sense. If it cost the store owner more to get it on their shelf, chances are, that’ll end up as part of the final price.
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: And if the price is too high on the store shelf, people stop buying, you know? But old Ham-hocks, he WANTED people to keep buying, so that tax money keeps flowing into the U.S. Treasury.
BRIDGET: Ah, so, tariffs are just a way the government makes money. Because they are a tax.
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: A tax that helped solve a problem. And then there was this other problem, which might feel a little familiar to you, Robin.
ROBIN: Okay. Let’s hear it.
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: In the early days of this country, we knew it was important to have our own industries, but it was hard to grow a brand-new industry when other, more established competitors. Like those British redcoats! – ahem, were selling their goods in America for lower prices than we could.
RYAN: Okay, I see where this is going. That sounds like Robin’s slime problem. I mean not the part where she’s competing with the British over slime sales, but the other part. Kids are bringing in inexpensive slime made outside the school. And it’s making it hard for Robin’s slime business to succeed.
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Exactly! I thought we could use tariffs to protect the industries that are most important to us! So, we put high tariffs on the things we don’t want other countries to make and sell in OUR country.
RYAN: What do you consider a high tariff?
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: High enough that it raises the price of that good so that people would think twice before buying the overseas option. That way maybe locally made items look a little more attractive.
ROBIN: I still don’t get what this means for my slime business.
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Oh, right yes. Ahem. Robin, I suggest you go to your school and ask them to levy a tariff on slime imported into the school. You, of course, as a local manufacturer of slime, would be exempt.
ROBIN: But…I’m a kid? Not a country? And my competing slime sellers are just kids too!
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Have a little imagination! Sure, tariffs have never been used before at an elementary school, but that’s what makes you an innovator, young Robin! Convince your school to levy tariffs on slime not made at your school and reap the benefits! You and your school could become the biggest slimeballs in this town! In a good way!
(SFX: TK SOUND FLOURISH)
BRIDGET: I mean, it kinda sounds like a good idea, Robin.
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Yes, come on, Robin! If Hamilton told you to do it, you’d probably say yes? Well this is your former president saying this is a great!
ROBIN: I don’t know that my school would go for this.
BRIDGET: Well lucky you, we have 12 minutes left on our lunch break, and we can walk right over and help you figure out who to talk to about starting a tariff at your school.
RYAN: [GROANS] Oh man! I was just about to use the other half of my lunch break to watch YouTube videos! When else am I gonna find the time to watch YouTube videos?
BRIDGET: At your desk, during work hours, like I always catch you doing.
RYAN: Ok, fair.
BRIDGET: You’ll be fine! Let’s get to Robin’s school and see if we can convince them to start a tariff at the school, to help protect Robin’s homegrown slime business. More, after this!
–MIDROLL–
Part 2:
(MB TRUMPET STING)
(SFX: RECESS SOUNDS: LAUGHTER, SWINGS, METAL CLANKING ON METAL, LAWN MOWER)
BRIDGET: Welcome back! To catch you up, a ghost of one of the founding fathers has convinced us that tariffs will solve the entrepreneurial problems for young neighborhood slimemaker, Robin. Good thing I live right around the corner from Robin’s school, Smokey Brook Elementary. And we’re about to go convince them to enact a tariff or a tax, on any slime sold on school grounds not made by a kid at this school. Let’s go!
(SFX DOORS OPEN, OUTSIDE SFX DIMS, SQUEAKY SHOES ON TILE FLOOR)
ROBIN: Look, there’s Principal Howe! Headed right toward us!
BRIDGET: Principal Howe! Principal Howe!
PRINCIPAL HOWE: Yes? Robin, aren’t you supposed to be in class?
ROBIN: [NERVOUS LAUGHTER] I may not be in class, per se. But I am learning… in a way.
BRIDGET: Well, she would be except she’s been dealing with this huge problem. We’re Bridget and Ryan, from the podcast Million Bazillion. We answer the questions that kids and families have about money, but today we’re SOLVING money problems. Robin has a big one and long story short, we think you should make it a rule that any slime sold on school property that wasn’t made by a Smokey Brook Fighting Trout should have an extra tariff added to the price. And the school collects that money before the slime can be sold.
PRINCIPAL HOWE: A tariff you say? At Smokey Brook Elementary School? That would be quite unorthodox. This sure sounds like a learning opportunity.
RYAN: And like something that’s going to take longer than the 9 minutes left in my lunch break.
PRINCIPAL HOWE: Robin, if you can convince the majority of the student body that a tariff on slime not made by students at this school is a good idea, we’ll make it an official rule.
ROBIN: Wow, really?
PRINCIPAL HOWE: Yep. But you’ll have to debate one of your slime competitors in front of the whole school. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some important things to do!
ROBIN: Wait, how do I convince the whole school that tariffs are a good idea? I barely know what they are!
BRIDGET: Oh, it’s just a tax we put on things made outside of our borders! Easy! Hey, Ryan and I are gonna help you prepare.
RYAN: For the next 8 minutes or so.
(SFX: BATMAN SWIRL)
PRINCIPAL HOWE: [PROJECTING VOICE] Good afternoon, everyone. (SFX: KIDS CHEERING) It’s me, Principal Howe! I’ll be your host for today’s round of Students Debate at Smokey Brook Elementary! Let’s go Fighting Trout! Blub Blub Blub! (SFX CROWD GOES WILD) This afternoon we’re going to hear an argument for, and an argument against tariffs here at Smokey Brook Elementary.
(SFX: CLAPPING/CHEERS)
RYAN: (HUSHED) Man, the school really threw this assembly together quick.
BRIDGET: I know, weirdly efficient school. Good thing we gave Robin all those examples of how tariffs have worked in the past!
SFX: GHOST POP
SFX: 2 second fife & drum sting
RYAN: Gah, Madison! Don’t sneak up on us like that!
BRIDGET: What are you even doing here?
We GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: I’m here to support young Robin!
PRINCIPAL HOWE: First up, Robin. Robin, tell us about yourself.
ROBIN: Hi everyone, I’m Robin. Fifth grader and maker of homemade, custom slime. It’s the cool kind with the glitter in it, and everyone should get some. But today, I’m not here to advertise my slime. I’m here to argue for the immediate implementation of a two-dollar tariff on every jar of slime imported from the outside, that is, not made at this school!
(SFX AUDIENCE CLAPPING)
PRINCIPAL HOWE: Okay, thank you. And over here, we have Jenny, one of the school’s biggest sellers of slime, which she buys from another school and brings into Smokey Brook to sell for low, low prices. Please say more, Jenny.
JENNY: That’s right, I’m Jenny, I’m a sixth grader, and I’m not ashamed to say, I’m giving folks the best deal on slime in the school at a mere $2 a jar! It’s cheap, it’s sticky, and it’s effective. Quality slime for kids on the go. So what if it’s made by students at South Bay? My opponent’s boutique glitter slime will cost you an arm and a leg. And I’m here to say that tariffs are not right for us at Smokey Brook, who’s with me??
(SFX: SOME APPLAUSE)
PRINCIPAL HOWE: I think this all comes down to whether tariffs are good or bad, right? Something I bet elementary students can solve in a short debate! So let’s discuss! Robin, you must think tariffs are good, because you want our school to have them. What’s so good about them?
ROBIN: They’ll make money for our school, just like they made money for our fledgling country after the Revolutionary War! If the school is collecting a couple of dollars on every jar of outside slime coming into Smokey Brook, we’re going to raise a lot of bucks! And think about how we could use that! New books for the library? Free school t-shirts for every student? That smushy rubber flooring for our playground?
PRINCIPAL HOWE: A new crushed ice machine in the teachers’ lounge for, uh, educational purposes.
(SFX: APPLAUSE)
JENNY: But don’t you see how tariffs have the potential of raising slime prices across the board? If I have to pay a tariff of two dollars per jar of slime, I’m not taking that on the chin! I’m going to have to raise my prices to cover those new costs! That’s an extra two dollars my honest slime-buyers are gonna have to fork over! It means doubling my prices!
(SFX: OOHs)
ROBIN: That’s the whole point of the tariff! We’re trying to encourage the students of Smokeybrook to buy slime made here on campus!
JENNY: But there’s something else that could happen too! Something none of you will like!
(SFX: SCATTERING OF BOOS)
JENNY: What happens when my imported slime DOES cost $4 a jar because of tariffs? Robin’s charging $3 right now. What stops her from raising her prices a bit? Say from $3 to $3.50?
CROWD/PRINCIPAL HOWE: GASP
JENNY: I’m just telling it like it is! Your slime prices are going up! With the competition hamstrung, suddenly slime goes from 2 or 3 bucks at this school, to $3.50 or $4!
(SFX: OUTRIGHT BOOS FROM THE CROWD)
BRIDGET: Oh, so if the tariffs go through Jenny’s imported slime gets more expensive. Because Jenny will have to pass her new tariff costs on to her buyers. And then that gives Robin some wiggle room to charge more and still cost less than the imported stuff.
RYAN: Right, but for slime-loving students, it could very well mean that prices are going up, no matter whose slime they buy. Madison, how dare you!
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: [NERVOUS LAUGH] Oh, dear, yes, that would be, not ideal. It’s an unintended consequence! Oh dear…
JENNY: Face it! You’re only hurting the kids who want to buy slime! You’re making it more expensive for them, whether they buy my slime, or Robins!
PRINCIPAL HOWE: Ooh, good point, Jenny! Robin, how do you respond?
(MUSIC: PATRIOTIC MUSIC)
ROBIN: Look, I’m a student at this school like the rest of you. I want to protect the businesses we’re building on school grounds because when Smokey Brook business prospers, we all prosper! The U.S. has put high tariffs on outside cars to help American carmakers, on outside corn to help American farmers! And sure, tariffs are usually things countries use, but I really think it could work here at our school. See, it’s not just about me and my slime, it’s about Amanda and her custom friendship bracelets. Renata’s cookies she bakes and sells at recess for fifty cents a pop! And Angus designing his own trading cards for extremely unpopular Star Wars characters!
ANGUS: (SHOUTING) I still have eight-hundred unsold Bib Fortuna cards. Buy one before they sell out!
RYAN: Oooh, I gotta get one of those. Bridget, I need to borrow some money.
JENNY: Look, that sounds great and all and you’ll learn about this in the sixth grade when you get to the unit on tariffs, but in the real world, when countries start trying to protect their own industries with targeted tariffs, other countries get mad! And sometimes they do the same thing back!
PRINCIPAL HOWE: What are you talking about here, Jenny?
JENNY: Oh I’ll tell you. Did you know that Angus’s biggest market for Bib Fortuna cards is the second grade class at South Bay Elementary? They love Fortuna over there! What do you think that school is going to do when they realize their slime industry has dried up overnight. That’s a metaphor, of course, my slime never dries out.
(SFX: CROWD LAUGHS)
JENNY: What if they put high tariffs on unpopular Star Wars trading cards?
ANGUS: Wait, what??
(SFX: AUDIENCE “OOOH”)
ROBIN: Look, this might be tricky for Angus in the short term, but in the long term, he’ll adjust!
JENNY: Suddenly, we could be in the middle of a…Trade war.
[FADE JENNY UNDERNEATH BRIDGET/RYAN/MADISON ASIDE]
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Oh no, she said it. The dreaded T-W.
BRIDGET: You didn’t say anything about a WAR, Ghost of James Madison!
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Well, you never really know how other countries will react! Someone could, if they wanted to, also use the threat of tariffs to punish other nations, or get them to do something. And then things get really ugly.
BRIDGET: UGH, why didn’t you say something sooner?
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Uh, oh, what’s that? Someone calling from 1776? Gotta go!
[SFX: SPOOKY MUSIC AND A POP]
RYAN: What? Madison just bailed on us! No wonder he never got his own musical!
[JENNY IN THE CLEAR]
JENNY: No one wins in a war. Whether it’s between countries, or two schools who are obsessed with slime. Why don’t we all just work together now, to keep the movement of slime and other goods between our countries, I mean schools, free and fair to all. Do it to make sure the students of Smokey Brook can buy and sell what they need, at the best price! By avoiding tariffs!
PRINCIPAL HOWE: Okay, well…there you have it! A spirited debate on a topic with no easy answer-
ANGUS: But wait a minute! Are tariffs good or bad? I’m still confused! I thought the answer would be straightforward and simple enough for a kid to understand!
PRINCIPAL HOWE: Uhhhh, at the end of the day, tariffs are good… but can also be bad. So I guess…it’s complicated! Next time on Students Debate at Smokey Brook Elementary…marinara or ranch, what’s the best dip for mozzarella sticks??
GHOST OF JAMES MADISON: Oh, that one’s easy- ranch!
RYAN: Oh, now you come back, Madison!?! Get out of here! Marinara all the way!
[SFX: SPOOKY MUSIC AND A POP]
BRIDGET: Ok! Enough! This episode doesn’t have room for two big debates. Let’s take a break and we’ll be right back.
–INTERSTITIAL–
Hi, I am Peter. Hi, I'm Elizabeth, and we're from Marina, Del Rey, California. Why did the penny flip himself? Elizabeth? Because it would make more sense.
(SFX: PHONE ALARM GOING OFF)
BRIDGET: Ooh, Robin, I’m sorry but our lunch break is over, and I promised Ryan we’d get back to answering questions.
RYAN: Yeah, it’s been a fun thirty minutes, but I do think my digestion prefers a less active lunch time. I’m gonna have to take a few days off to make up for this.
ROBIN: I get it. I appreciate your help.
BRIDGET: Can you let us know how the school votes?
ROBIN: I will, no problem! See ya!
(SFX: SQUEAKY SHOES ON TILE FLOOR, METAL DOORS OPEN)
(SFX: RECESS SOUNDS: LAUGHTER, SWINGS, METAL CLANKING ON METAL, LAWN MOWER)
RYAN: Well Bridget, what did we learn today?
(MUSIC: EXPLAINER MUSIC)
BRIDGET: Well, we learned that tariffs are just a fancy word for a tax we put on things made outside our country. And they’re a tool that governments…or I guess in some cases, local elementary schools…can use. To raise money or to protect industries. They’re a bargaining chip. But there’s always a risk that another country could see a tariff as the first strike in a trade war. And then it’s hard to say what happens next, or where it all ends. But any which way you slice it, tariffs will probably make things cost more for the people doing the buying.
RYAN: Well said, but I actually meant about this Solving over Sandwiches thing. Are we gonna do it at lunch again tomorrow or not?
BRIDGET: Oh, yeah, no, that was a hectic 30 minutes, I don’t even think I ate my lunch!
(SFX: STOMACH GURGLE)
(SFX: RUNNING SNEAKERS ON PAVEMENT)
ROBIN: Hey! Bridget and Ryan! GREAT news! For me at least! The school voted to add tariffs to outside slime!
BRIDGET: Oh, wow! Well, what does this mean for you then?
ROBIN: I’m going to become the biggest slimeball in Smokey Brook History, that’s what!
RYAN: But uh, in a good way, right?
ROBIN: And get this! Those South Bay kids put a tariff on Angus’s trading cards like we KNEW they would, so we’re gonna hit ‘em BACK with some more tariffs!
BRIDGET: Oh, wow, more tariffs? Okay, well, I don’t want to say the T-W word but that seems……
ROBIN: And I’m not stopping there! Next up, I’m pushing for tariffs on EVERYTHING not made by a Smokey Brook Trout! We’re keeping Smokey Brook dollars in Smokey Brook!
(MUSIC: SNEAK UP SINISTER MUSIC)
BRIDGET: Right but I think South Bay does sell some things that the Smokey Brook kids like to buy…
ROBIN: Oh, and get this. I did some reading and it turns out you can use tariffs to threaten other countries and just get them to do what you want! So we’re going to apply that to South Bay too.
BRIDGET: What could you possibly want from the South Bay kids to use tariffs against them like this?
ROBIN: Well they’ve got a fancier swing set for one, so if they want access to the full pockets of the Smokey Brook student body, they’re gonna have to send over that swing set, bwahahah.
BRIDGET: Um…remember when we were talking about how trade wars could get out of hand…
ROBIN: [FADING AWAY] Who wants a tariff? You’re getting a tariff next! You get a tariff, and YOU get a tariff!
RYAN: Oh boy, we really should have just stuck to sandwiches.
MADISON (ECHOEY): Oh dear, did I do that?
– MILLION BAZILLION THEME MUSIC –
CREDITS
RYAN: Alright, that’s it for *this episode of Million Bazillion! Thanks for listening! If you’ve got a money question you want us to answer, or an idea for an episode, send it to us at our website! That’s Marketplace dot org slash million!
BRIDGET: And did you know we have a newsletter? Sign up at Marketplace dot org slash NEWSLETTERS! Get new episodes delivered straight to your inbox AND a tipsheet on this topic, with conversation starters and more.
RYAN: Million Bazillion is brought to you by Marketplace, from American Public Media. This episode was written and hosted by me, Ryan Perez and Bridget Bodnar.
BRIDGET: We had extra help voicing this episode today from: Benicio Oliveira, Layla Peters, Issac Lukasavitz, James Pargac, and also Sabri Ben Achour, Maria Hollenhorst, Zoha Malik, Nancy Marshall Genzer, Nova Safo, and Daniel Shin
RYAN: Million Bazillion’s editor is Jasmine Romero. Our producers are Courtney Bergsieker, Minju Park, and Zoha Malik. Marissa Cabrera is our senior producer.
BRIDGET: Armando Serrano is our sound designer
Nina Torres is the assistant sound designer.
Bekah Wineman is our mixing engineer.
Our theme music was created by Wonderly.
RYAN: Bridget Bodnar is the Director of Podcasts at Marketplace.
Francesca Levy is the Executive Director of Digital.
Neal Scarbrough is the VP and General Manager.
BRIDGET: Million Bazillion is funded in part by the Sy Syms Foundation, partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985. And special thanks to The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance for providing the start-up funding for this podcast, and continuing to support Marketplace in our work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy.
RYAN: If Million Bazillion is helping your family have important conversations about money, consider making a one-time donation today at marketplace-dot-org-slash-givemillion, and thanks for your support.
The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance, supports Marketplace’s work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy. Next Gen Personal Finance is a non-profit that believes all students benefit from having a financial education before they cross the stage at high school graduation.
Greenlight is a debit card and money app for kids and teens. Through the Greenlight app, parents can transfer money, automate allowance, manage chores, set flexible spend controls and invest for their kids’ futures (parents can invest on the platform too!) Kids and teens learn to earn, save, spend wisely, give and invest with parental approval. Our mission is to shine a light on the world of money for families and empower parents to raise financially-smart kids. We aim to create a world where every child grows up to be financially healthy and happy. Today, Greenlight serves 5 million+ parents and kids, helping them learn healthy financial habits, collectively save more than $350 million to-date and invest more than $20 million.
The Sy Syms Foundation: Partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985.
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