What we actually heard during Trump’s press event at the Trump International

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump held a press conference at his new hotel in Washington, D.C. today.

There was the birther thing and there were veterans onstage offering their endorsements. But c’mon, we know what it really was, right? Here’s what we heard:

Mr. Trump, if you’re listening, you can go ahead and use that, if you like. Also, come on the program anytime.