And this final note — is the era of the oh-so-intimate airport pat-down finally coming to an end? Perhaps.

In the future. Maybe a distant future.

The Department of Homeland Security has asked technology companies to come up with a hand-held scanner that could replace the personal pat-down.

It’s gotta weigh less than five pounds and tell the difference between a pacemaker and an explosive device. And do its work within 15 seconds.

Could someone please, please design this?

Signed,
All people.