Well, I don’t think professor Richard Wiseman is Freddy Krueger, but honestly, I’ve never been to his basement. Wiseman, a psychologist, plans to use an iPhone app called Dream: On. According to its download page, the app “plays the SoundScape to your subconscious.” It works like this: before you go to sleep, you let the app know what kind of dreams you want to have – things like “taking a relaxing stroll through the countryside, being able to fly, or lying on a sun drenched beach.” The app then senses, in no way like Freddy, when you’re dreaming then plays a customized ‘SoundScape’ to form your dream. When you wake, you get a graph of your movements, because IT WAS WATCHING YOU, and you can tag any Facebook friends that were in the dream. Most importantly for Wiseman, the app lets you upload a description of your dream to his “Dream Bank,” where he can study, and for sure not lord over, your dreams.

When asked about why he came up with Dream: On, Wiseman replied: “Well, I know nobody knows. Where it comes and where it goes. I know it’s everybody sin. You got to lose to know how to win.” Actually, that wasn’t Wiseman at all. That was Steven Tyler. My mistake.