VIDEO: Bad headlines need a good holiday

We were gonna pay for financial reform
with a tax on the banks, who created the storm.
Instead, the money will come from — I swear —
the bailout fund. ‘Cause that seems fair.

The recovery is tiring.
Nobody’s hiring.
Something wrong with Toyota’s wiring.

Let’s see . . .
World Cup . . . the Americans lose.
I’m trying to find some positive news.

Oh, the oil spill’s fixed! . . . Nah, I’m just teasin’ —
It’s spewing like hell and it’s hurricane season.

Uh, Supreme Court squashes the handgun ban?
I guess that’s good, for a firearm fan.

You know what, these headlines are leaving me flat
It’s a three-day weekend, let’s focus on that.

Have fun with your sparklers and Francis Scott Key,
and I’ll see you at marketplace.org.