Pay pigs and piggy banks

Mistress Damiana Chi, Ph.D., in her dungeon, The Chi Temple in Los Angeles. Hannah Harris-Green

Interest in financial submission has exploded online. But what happens when Matt’s finances can’t keep up with his desires?

Matt has pretty much always known he was kinky, but he’s never told anyone in his personal life about his kinks. And keeping something secret can mean it costs you more … especially if your secret involves sending large sums of money to strangers

Matt’s particular kink is financial domination, also known as findom. It involves giving up control of his finances to another person. “It’s just an extreme state of vulnerability where you feel like you don’t have to have to lead the way,” Matt told us in an interview. In this week’s episode, we’ll explore why this kink can be so appealing for some people and the ethical concerns it can raise when not practiced responsibly.

Matt first heard about financial domination through watching pornography, and before long, he set up a Twitter account to connect directly with dommes. All too quickly, Matt found his finances couldn’t keep up with his desires. Matt remembers looking at his bank account not long after he got started and being shocked by what he saw. “I think in the first two months I spent, I think it was like two grand” – which was a lot for someone making around $40,000 annually at the time. It became an addiction for Matt, taking a toll not only on his bank account but also his personal relationships and mental health.

But findom doesn’t have to be that way. We spoke with two dommes who specialize in ethical kink about how findom can be practiced responsibly. Hadrian Temple is a findom who helps some of his finsubs save money: “One of the things I told [a sub] is, ‘Okay, your paycheck comes on a Friday. The very first thing you do with it is take this amount of money and you put it in your savings account and you never touch that except for the specific purpose of buying a house or buying a car or meeting a specific goal that you are saving money for.’”

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