“Million Bazillion” listeners and brothers John and Peter want to know where game shows get their prize money. It’s the perfect opportunity to answer this question as Ryan and Bridget find themselves competing on a chaotic game show with a chance to win $1 million on the line. While they take on one challenge after another, the duo uncover the surprising ways game shows get the cash for those big prizes.
After listening to the episode, here are some questions you can ask kids about game show prize money:
Why do you think companies would want to sponsor or advertise on game shows?
What’s the difference between an advertisement and a sponsorship?
Would you rather take a smaller prize you’ve already won, or give it up for a chance to win a BIGGER prize? Why?
Bonus Not-So-Random-Question: If you had your own game show, what would it be called? And what kind of prizes would you give?
Want to learn more about how companies persuade us to buy their stuff using advertising or product placement? Check out this episode from Million Bazillion.
Listen to this “Million Bazillion” episode to learn how insurance works!
Curious about the history of game shows and how they evolve over the years? Check out this video from Crash Course.
Thanks for listening to this episode! If your kid has a money question, joke, or even a poem about money, we’d love to hear it.
Record your Million Bazillionaire and send the audio using this online form and we just might include your kid in an upcoming episode!
Note: Marketplace podcasts are meant to be heard, with emphasis, tone and audio elements a transcript can’t capture. Scripts may contain errors. Please check the corresponding audio before quoting it
Cold Open:
(Nighttime ambi, crickets, owl hooting)
(SFX Ryan panting running, then banging on door)
RYAN: Bridget! Bridget wake up! Answer the door, I need to talk to you!
(SFX muffled shuffling, Door creaks, swings open)
BRIDGET: (Yawning) Ryan? What time is it? What do you want?
RYAN: You won’t believe what just happened.
BRIDGET: Ryan you HAVE to stop showing up at my house in the middle of the night! They’re called BOUNDARIES.
RYAN: I hear you, and I will definitely take those thoughts under advisement. But I HAVE to tell you about an exciting development, and I promise it's going to be worth the wake up. Look at THIS.
(SFX a paper is shoved into Bridget's hands)
BRIDGET: Dear Ryan Perez, you and your guest, Brodget Bibner - Brodget Bibner??
RYAN: I must have misspelled your name on the application, keep reading!
BRIDGET: You and your guest, Brodget Bibner, are cordially invited to be participants on The Incredible Chase, the latest hit game show from the Win-A-Prize network. If you agree, you’ll be competing for the ONE MILLION DOLLAR PRIZE?!? Holy moly, Ryan, is this for real?
RYAN: You bet your biscuits, Brodget! You know how I love game shows?
BRIDGET: Of course, Survivor, Jeopardy, The Floor, The Wall, The ceiling - all game shows you watch religiously.
RYAN: Well when I heard they were looking for applicants for The Incredible Chase I knew we just HAD to try out.
BRIDGET: I mean, a chance to win a million dollars sounds great but what exactly does this game show entail?
RYAN: That’s the incredible part Bridget! No one knows!
BRIDGET: Hmm…my logic brain tells me that I shouldn’t sign up for a mysterious game that I don't know the rules of … but my silly fun chaos brain says “Why not!”
RYAN: That’s the spirit Bridget! (Over his shoulder) All right everyone, she said yes, come on out!
(SFX Crew starts coming out of the bushes, cameras rolling)
SFX: CUT TRUCK BACKING UP
SFX: CROWD OF PEOPLE
PRODUCER: Alright crew, let’s get in close here and get Brodget’s reaction! I want a camera right on her face.
BRIDGET: RYAN!? Who are all these people?
RYAN: This was the first test of The Incredible Chase - get your partner to agree to be on The Incredible Chase!
PRODUCER: Ooo I love the dynamic between these two, let's zoom in on the annoyed look on Brodget’s face.
BRIDGET: Grrrrr!
–INCREDIBLE CHASE MUSIC -
HOST: Live from the beautiful Win-A-Prize Network studios in Glendale California, Welcome to…The Incredible Chase!
HOST: The game show where the contestants have no idea what’s in store for them. All they know is they have a chance to win…a million dollars! Let's meet our guests this episode.
MUSIC: GAME SHOW INTRODUCTION MUSIC
RYAN: Hi! I’m Ryan. I’m 36, from Los Angeles, California, and I love monster trucks, Laurel and Hardy movies, and the number 17!
PRODUCER: And Bridget?
BRIDGET: You want me to do what?
PRODUCER: Just introduce yourself
BRIDGET: Ummm ok, I’m Brodget. Darn it! I mean Bridget. I’m not telling you my age, or where I live. That’s personal.
PRODUCER: (Sighs) Give us something interesting about yourself!
BRIDGET: Uhhhh…. I have red hair? Oh! And I once saw a bandicoot at the Minneapolis Zoo?
PRODUCER: (Sighs harder) Yeah that will have to do I suppose.
SFX: END MUSIC
(Bell Rings)
PRODUCER: Crew! Let's take a 5 minute break and reset. Contestants, you’re free to go to craft services.
(SFX people milling about on a sound stage)
RYAN: Oh boy Bridget isn’t this so exciting! The buzz of production! The thrill of not knowing what’s coming next!
BRIDGET: I don’t find not knowing nearly as thrilling as you do. Look, while we’re on break from this game show, maybe we should do the intro for OUR show? We still have a show to make you know?
RYAN: Oh right!
-MILLION BAZILLION THEME MUSIC -
RYAN: Welcome to Million Bazillion! I’m Ryan!
BRIDGET: And I’m Bridget! And we help dollars make more sense! And I believe we have a listener question that fits perfectly with the wacky adventure we happen to be on:
LISTENER QUESTION: Hi million bazillion my name is john and I’m 11, and I’m peter and I’m 8, were from New Jersey and our question is: Where do game shows get their prize money? Thanks!
HOST: Did someone say “Prize Money?”
BRIDGET: Whose voice do I keep hearing?
HOST: It’s me! Beloved 80’s heartthrob, and host of The Incredible Chase, Ralph Macchio.
BRIDGET: Oh my Gosh, the real Ralph Macchio in the flesh?
HOST: Kind of! I’m not physically there, but you will hear my voice as you go through the many rounds of: The Incredible Chase! [INCREDIBLE CHASE STING] Like the one you’re about to start right now!
RYAN: Oh boy, our first challenge! So what do we have to do?
SFX: DRAMATIC SCORING
HOST: For your first round you’ll be climbing “The wall of wicked words” - you and your partner will have to guess what word I’m describing. When you guess a word correctly, you’ll get to climb higher on the wall. Guess them all and get to the very top to win $10,000!
RYAN: Phew! Bridget, that's a lot of dough! Enough to pay off the debt collector that keeps leaving me vaguely threatening voicemails!
BRIDGET: Yeah, but as my grandma Gracie always said “There’s no such thing as a free $10,000” so I and John and Peter want to know, where exactly is that money coming from?
PRODUCER: OK, too many questions! We’re gonna have to tweak this in editing!! Let's just cut to a commercial break.
HOST: Will Bridget and Ryan be able to stop their bickering and climb the wall? Find out after this break on The Incredible Chase!
(SFX show stinger)
(SFX BELL RINGS)
RYAN: Wait, we’re not bickering!
PRODUCER: Don’t worry, we will make it seem like you are in our edit.
-Asking random kids some NOT SO random questions-
ANNOUNCER: I’m Jeremiah from Utah Here with today’s Asking Random Kids Not-So-Random Questions … Today’s question is: If you had your own game show, what would it be called and what would the big prize be?
KIDS: It’d be called the best game show EVER! It would be called Game Over Extreme. It would be called Supertastic Sadie. I’d call it benny franks. I’d call it ora farming. It’d be called money tree and the big prize would be …10k ora. $25,000 dollars. One million dollars. An old rusty pirate ship with gold in it.
ANNOUNCER: That was Savannah in California, Shiloh in Virginia, Sadie in New Jersey, Lucia in Chicago, Calder and John in North Carolina. This has been Asking Random Kids Not So Random Questions
(MUSIC: GAME SHOW STING)
HOST: Welcome back to The Incredible Chase! We’re back with our bickering best buds, Bridget and Ryan! Will they ever get it together?
BRIDGET AND RYAN: [RUN UNDER END OF HOST LINE]: What did he say? Did he say bickering? Huh? Did you hear that?
FADE UP: BACKSTAGE SOUND DESIGN
BRIDGET: OK I don’t love that framing, but we can move past it for now. We’re here trying to answer John and Peters Question: Where do game shows get their prize money? And we just happen to be on a game show right now. So, game show producer, just who is paying us this $10,000 to climb the wall of wicked words??
PRODUCER: Well, you know how you just heard Ralph Macchio cut to commercial break? Those commercial breaks are what pays for most of this.
RYAN: Like, the commercials are paying our prize money?
PRODUCER: Not directly, but kind of! See, the network that makes The Incredible Chase sells advertisements during the commercial breaks! So every time you see a commercial for, oh I don't know, Dish Soap, the soap company is paying to advertise on the show. And that money is then used for the show's budget and expenses. So everything from this sound stage, to my salary, to, you guessed it, the prize money, is coming from the sale of those ads!
BRIDGET: But what about game shows on streaming channels, like Netflix? They don’t have ads.
PRODUCER: Oh, well then they pay for the show through the subscription fees that Netflix gets each month from all its subscribers. Plus, these days, lots of the streamers are adding ads to their services anyway!
RYAN: (SARCASTIC) Ooo! I get to PAY to watch ads now? Where do I sign up?
PRODUCER: Now, can we play the game? If we keep chit-chatting, my crew is gonna go into overtime and that is NOT in the budget. Let’s roll please!!
SFX STING
HOST: Welcome back to “The Incredible Chase!” Alright, Ryan, Bridget, it’s time to climb the wall. Remember, you have to guess all the words and get to the top to win $10,000. Are you ready?
RYAN: Oh, I am READY!
BRIDGET: I guess!
(SFX Tense music)
HOST: All right, your timer starts now! Your first word is used to describe a list at Christmas time. Your name might be on that list if you have behaved badly throughout the year.
RYAN: Badly! Baby! Bobby! Beehive!
BRIDGET: What? Ryan, you're just shouting random words!?
RYAN: I don’t know! I’m thinking outside the box.
BRIDGET: Is the word “Naughty”?
(SFX positive ding)
HOST: Correct!
RYAN: Come on Bridget, take my hand! I’ll help you up.
BRIDGET: OKAY.
(SFX Bridget and Ryan scramble up)
HOST: Your next word is associated with a snowman.
RYAN: Frosty! Frigid! Frozen!
BRIDGET: Let him finish asking the question!
HOST: But this is no ordinary snowman! This snowman is sometimes called a yeti…
RYAN: I’ve got it! Abobbibable!
BRIDGET: What? That’s not a word.
RYAN: You know what I’m staying! The Abobbable Snowman!
BRIDGET: Oh! “The Abominable Snowman”? Abominable?
(SFX positive ding, Ryan and Bridget make climbing sounds)
BRIDGET AND RYAN RECORDING GRUNTING AS THEY CLIMB
HOST: Right again!
RYAN: Uhhh we’re pretty high up on this wall now. (to self) don’t look down, don't look down!
BRIDGET! Yes! Come on Ryan, we’re almost at the top!
(SFX climbing sounds)
HOST: For your final word! This is the word to describe a bad guy in a movie
RYAN: I don’t know! Voldemort?!
BRIDGET: Ryan, are you afraid of heights?!
RYAN: No! AHHH! I looked down! Why is this wall so high?!
HOST: This word is the opposite of the protagonist, and is usually evil!
RYAN: I can’t think! I’m too scared!
BRIDGET: The word is villain!
(SFX triumphant music)
BRIDGET: Come on Ryan, we just need to climb to the top and we will win this round!
RYAN: I Caaacaacaacaaaann’t! You have to do it for us.
BRIDGET: Oh brother! Ok here I go!
(SFX happy slot machine sounds)
HOST: Congratulations! You have reached the top of the wall of wicked words! And you’ve officially won $10,000!
PRODUCER: You can climb down now!
RYAN: Yup I’m climbing down!
BRIDGET: Ryan, you haven't moved at all. Do you need help?
RYAN: (softly) Maybe.
PRODUCER: Ok folks lets cut to commercial break and someone get the cherry picker so we can get this guy down.
BRIDGET: Oh boy. We will be playing more of The Incredible Chase right after this break.
HOST: Hey! That’s my line.
BRIDGET: Oh sorry!
HOST: We’ll be back with more Million Bazillion, right after this break.
SFX INCREDIBLE CHASE STING
-MIDROLL (CREDIT BREAK)-
HOST: Welcome back to The Incredible Chase! When we last left off, Ryan was stuck at the top of the wall of wicked words. Will he ever come down? What will be the conclusion to this thrilling saga?!
(Incredible Chase Stinger)
BRIDGET: Right…AND welcome back to Million Bazillion. [MILLION BAZILLION STING] Today we’re answering John and Peter’s question: Where do game shows get their prize money? So far, we’ve learned that most of a game show’s budget comes from the sale of advertisements shown during commercial breaks - which pay for things like prize money, and the equipment needed to get Ryan down from the Wall of Wicked Words.
(SFX Forklift beeping - Ryan's voice approaches)
RYAN: (shouting) Thanks for rescuing me. That wall was much was higher than it looked!
PRODUCER: The wall is only 6 feet high, maybe 7!
RYAN: 6-7! Ok, sorry about that. What’s up, what are we doing now?
PRODUCERS: Turns out that suspenseful cut to commercial is exactly the kind of thing we producers look for, because it entices audiences to keep watching, which boosts our ratings and makes our commercial breaks more valuable! Whenever you see a really wacky show premise, or cliffhanger, that's probably why!
BRIDGET: In any case, we’ve now won $10,000, which is awesome, but far from the million dollar prize the show is advertising
HOST: Sounds like you’re ready for a wham bam bonus bonanza round! It's a chance to multiply your earnings! But you’ll have to make it through…the maze of despair!
(MUSIC: SCARY STING)
BRIDGET: The maze of despair! I don’t like the sound of that.
SFX: MUSIC TO SCORE GAME SET UP
HOST: In the maze of despair you'll have 3 chances to multiply the money you’ve earned so far. With each challenge passed, you’ll double your winnings.
BRIDGET: OK so we've won 10K so far. Double that is 20. Double that is 40. And double again is 80!
RYAN: Whoa that's a lot of doubling! Like, significantly more than what we got in the first round.
SFX: SAPPY MUSIC
HOST: That’s right. This special wham bam bonus bonanza round is sponsored by our friends at the Andes Corporation - your one stop shop for buying everything online (Under his breath) -and slowly running local small businesses into bankruptcy- Thanks Andes Corporation!
BRIDGET: Wait a minute, I thought your prize money came from selling ads! And now you’re thanking the Andes Corporation on air, What’s going on here!
PRODUCER: Ok cut! Let’s make ANOTHER note to cut this out in post! And someone get me a scone PLEASE! Crew lets reset!
AD: [DISTANT, SHOUTING] We need a scone to set right now!
(SFX Bell rings)
SFX: INCREASE IN ACTION IN THIS SPACE
PRODUCER: Bridge Bridge Bridge, can I call you Bridge?
BRIDGET: No.
PRODUCER: Got it. SOME of our segments are occasionally sponsored by specific companies, especially ones that have a special prize. For example, next week we are giving away a car thanks to our generous sponsors at the Edsel Motor Company. All we have to do is mention the name of the car 17 times on air, and bam, free prize!
RYAN: Why would the car company just GIVE you a car? Don’t you normally pay for cars?
PRODUCER: Well, it's great exposure for their brand to be featured on the show! They get their product seen by millions of viewers, and we get a prize that we don’t have to pay for from our show's budget. Its a win, win, win!
BRIDGET: What's the third win for?
PRODUCER: Ummm…you? Anyway, can we send you into the maze of despair now?
RYAN: I thought you’d never ask!
BRIDGET: Fine what's in the maze of despair?
SFX: SHOW STING
SFX: SCORING
HOST: For your next challenge you’ll have to walk blindfolded through this heavily wooded area. At each checkpoint, you’ll be presented with riddles, the answer to which will be something you have to eat. For each answer you eat, we will double your prize money! Once again, thanks to the Andes corporation for providing today’s prize money. If you like free two day shipping and a seemingly endless supply of cardboard boxes, you’ll love the Andes Corporation. Ready to begin?
BRIDGET: (Sigh) I guess.
PRODUCER: Ok, blindfolds on!
HOST: Please proceed into the maze!
(SFX Footsteps as Bridget and Ryan enter a wooded area. Owls hoot, footsteps squish)
RYAN: Ooo this reminds me of that time I went on a blind date.
BRIDGET: How is this like that?
RYAN: Because we’re blindfolded?
BRIDGET: That’s not what happens on a blind date.
(SFX hitting branches)
RYAN: Ooof…Ouch…why is this sticky?
BRIDGET: I really don’t like this. I can’t see a thing!
RYAN: Come on Bridget, where's your sense of adventure// OOF. What's this hard table I just bumped into?
HOST: You’ve reached your first checkpoint! Answer the following riddle for a chance to proceed. “I haven't got a bone to pick. Nor eyes with which to wink. Your trash I treasure, I crawl with leisure, and always dress in pink”
BRIDGET: Always dress in pink? Is it one of the mean girls? Ok, listeners at home, feel free to guess along because clearly we are clueless.
RYAN: Think - It's got to be something that we could eat…
BRIDGET: Ok well it’s something that doesn't have eyes…and it loves trash….
RYAN: Haven't got a bone to pick…maybe it doesn't have any bones at all….
BRIDGET: wait a minute, a pink invertebrate…this sounds like a worm! Is it a worm!?
HOST: Reach into the mystery box to find out! But remember, to double your money you MUST eat the answer!
BRIDGET: This sounds like a Ryan job.
RYAN: Oh sure, I would LOVE to reach into a mystery box that might be full of worms.
BRIDGET: It’s only fair! I’m the one who climbed to the top of the word wall!
RYAN: FINNNNEE
(SFX Slimy rummaging)
RYAN: OH Yeah these are worms for sure.
BRIDGET: Ryan, you can’t eat worms! It’s not worth it.
RYAN: I didn’t come this far just to give up now Bridge. Here goes nothing!
(SFX Ryan takes a bite)
RYAN: Mmmm surprisingly delicious. Chewy, sour, with a touch of sweetness. Wait a minute, these are gummy worms!
(SFX triumphant music)
HOST: You have passed your first test. AND you got to eat some delicious Haribo Gummy worms!
BRIDGET: How convenient to have a product placed right in the middle of your segment.
PRODUCER: Yeah, that’s what we call “Product placement” - Haribo gives us money for mentioning their product, and featuring it on the show.
HOST: Now, venture deeper into the maze for your next trial.
(SFX Large wooden door creaks, footsteps resume)
BRIDGET: OOF. OK looks like we've hit another roadblock.
HOST: Indeed! Here is your next riddle: I harden in hot water, under pressure I break, I come from winged creatures, or even from a snake.
RYAN: Did somebody say snake?! I am not eating a snake Bridget, even I have my limits!
BRIDGET: No, the riddle says it comes FROM a snake. So like, snake skin, snake venom…
RYAN: Wait but he said it also comes from winged creatures…and hardens in hot water…what hardens in hot water??
BRIDGET: This is a tough one to crack
RYAN: CRACK. That's it, Bridget! It's an EGG!
HOST: Is that your final answer?
BRIDGET: Uhhh, I guess? I can take this one Ryan.
RYAN: Way to really take one for the team eating AN EGG.
(SFX Bridget rummaging through a box, then the crunch of an egg being peeled and a chomp from Bridget)
BRIDGET: Delightful! A perfectly jammy hard boiled egg!
(SFX triumphant music)
HOST: Well done you two! One more chance to double the pot of earnings!
(SFX wooden door creaks open, footsteps resume)
BRIDGET: Wait, so we’ve earned 40 thousand dollars by just eating some gummy worms and an egg? Maybe we should quit while were ahead.
RYAN: No way Bridget. Don’t you want to go down in Amazing Chase history as the first winners of the million dollar prize?
BRIDGET: Or we could go down as the people who had 40K, but got greedy and lost it all. Jeez, a million bucks. I wonder how the show can afford to give out million dollar OUCH my toe!
RYAN: (Gasp) the third checkpoint!
HOST: Can you solve our final riddle? “My fangs can carry venom, in shadows do I lurk, I catch my prey with cunning and with finely woven work”
BRIDGET: Fangs? Oh I’m out on this one.
RYAN: Woven work…Could be my aunt Lucille. She’s sews!
BRIDGET: But does she have fangs full of venom?
RYAN: Only if you cut her in line at Michael’s …concentrate Bridget! What lurks in shadows and weaves a…
BOTH: WEB!
RYAN: That’s it, a spider. OK here goes
(SFX Rummaging in a box)
RYAN: I’m sure it’s like a chocolate spider or a gummy spider or something like that.
(SFX crunch, Ryan chewing)
RYAN: (CHEWING) Uhhh I don't love the texture. It's a bit chewy and crunchy…
HOST: Yeah that’s a real spider.
RYAN: Yeah I thought so.
(SFX triumphant music)
HOST: But CONGRATULATIONS! You have officially beaten the Maze of Despair! You have your prize winnings to 80 THOUSAND dollars!
(SFX Slot machine happy sounds)
PRODUCER: Alright cue the lights! Blindfolds off you two.
(SFX lights click on)
BRIDGET: Wait a minute, we were in a studio this whole time?! How did you make that maze feel so creepy?! I could have sworn I was in the woods.
PRODUCER: Oh nah. It’s what makes game shows SO easy to produce. Easily repeatable format, and mostly filmed in one location. We’re on the same lot as 25 words or less and Rupaul's Drag Race.
RYAN: Yeah I guess it would be cheaper to make a game show than to produce a TV show like, say, She Hulk: Attorney at Law where you have lots of different sets and costumes and stunts and CGI.
BRIDGET: Ryan, are you a secret She-Hulk fan?
RYAN: Naw, I don’t like She-Hulk! That show’s for kids! I’m a 41 year old man! I just put it on while folding laundry. It’s a laundry-folding show!
HOST: So, Bridget and Ryan, you’ve beaten the wicked wall of words, and deciphered our maze of despair. Are you ready for your greatest and final challenge? Are you ready for…the gauntlet?
BRIDGET: Ugghhhh what’s the Gauntlet??!
HOST: You'll find out…right after this break.
MINI SEGMENT
PERRY: Hi, my name is Perry. I’m 10 years old and I live in Indiana. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A SATISFACTORY (laughs) that’s a good one!
PRODUCER: Alright everyone we’re back. Lets set up the rolling logs of sorrow and fill the pool of suffering.
BRIDGET: (Whispering) Why are all the challenges on this show so depressingly named?!
RYAN: (whispering) I think it raises the stakes for the audience?
SFX INCREDIBLE CHASE STING
HOST: Alright you two, are you ready to risk it all for a chance at the MILLION DOLLAR PRIZE?
RYAN: Is your name Ralph Macchio?
HOST: It is.
RYAN: Well then yes.
BRIDGET: Wait a minute, I want to know exactly how we win this prize money. It's a pretty crazy leap from 80 thousand dollars to one million.
HOST: I thought you would never ask! If you walk away now, you can take your 80 thousand free and clear. BUT, to win the million, you’ll have to risk your winnings and successfully make it through THE GAUNTLET You’ll each be faced with a series of feats that test your mental and physical abilities to the max. At the end you’ll have one final choice to make in the Monty Hall of Doooooooom!
BRIDGET: As tempting as that sounds, I feel like the odds are stacked against us on winning the big jackpot. Back me up here, Producer.
PRODUCER: I mean…yes. It is highly unlikely that you will actually make it through the gauntlet, pass all the tests, and make it through the final challenge. We usually only have one big jackpot win a season.
BRIDGET: That’s what I figured. It would be pretty hard on the show's budget to give out a million dollars every single episode.
PRODUCER: Oh yeah no way. That's why the games get harder and harder the more money you win. In fact, we have insurance just in case someone does win the million dollars. In the event that someone wins that million dollars, it's the insurance company that pays it out, not the show.
BRIDGET: Check out our episode, “what is insurance” to find out how insurance works! Season 4, episode 2!
RYAN: Well I think it’s worth the risk for a chance at the million. Consider us in!
HOST: Fantastic! You are now entering…THE GAUNTLET.
PRODUCER: Cue the theme music!
(Music cue rad guitar song for the gauntlet)
HOST: Ryan, you’ll have to run across this obstacle course of rolling logs, swim across this crocodile infested pool, and jump through flaming hoops.
BRIDGET: Wow! And what am I going to be doing??
HOST: Bridget will answer a series of questions.
BRIDGET: So I just answer questions while standing right here? Yeah I can do that!
HOST: If you each make it through successfully, you’ll get your shot at the million. Are you ready!?
RYAN: I don’t feel like we’re quite doing the same amount of work here…
BRIDGET: Ready!
HOST: BEGIN! Bridget your category is…foods that begin with the letter Q!
HOST: A game bird related to a partridge.
BRIDGET: What is a quail!
RYAN: I made it to the first platform! Ah!
BRIDGET: Oh Ryan watch your head, looks like there are swinging swords above you?
(SFX Splash/ Ryan starts swimming through croc water)
HOST: A custard pie often made with cheese and bacon?
BRIDGET: What is a quiche!
SFX DING
RYAN: Ah! I think a fish just bit me! Are there piranhas in this water too!?
PRODUCER: Oh yeah, forgot to mention the piranhas.
HOST: A large edible clam of the Atlantic coast?
BRIDGET: What is a quahog!
SFX DING
RYAN: You’re doing great Bridget! Don’t worry, I can totally jump through these flaming hoops no problem.
(SFx Ryan jumping as flames roar)
HOST: Oh dear, looks like Ryan’s pant leg has caught fire…
RYAN: I’m fine I’ll just quickly tuck and roll!
HOST: For your final question: According to legend, it was the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden?
BRIDGET: What is a quince!
SFX DING
(SFX Triumphant music!)
HOST: CONGRATULATIONS you two! You successfully completed the gauntlet! You’re only one step away from a MILLION DOLLARS!
PRODUCER: (Through gritted teeth) Yes, congratulations. We’ve never had anyone get through the gauntlet successfully. How did you know the answers to all those questions Bridget?
BRIDGET: Amazingly, I got a book about foods that start with the letter Q for my white elephant gift this year. Talk about good timing right?
HOST: Now all you have to do is make the right choice in…the MONTY HALL OF DOOM!
(SFX door creaks)
HOST: (Echoing) At the end of this hallway are three doors. Two of them have a donkey and one of them holds the MILLION DOLLAR PRIZE! Can you pick the right door?
BRIDGET: You’re kidding. This whole thing has led to a game of chance? And did you say a donkey?
RYAN: Door number three! I pick 3.
BRIDGET: RYAN! Didn’t you want to talk it over first?
RYAN: What for! Its all chance anyway right? Door number 3!
HOST: Are you sure?????
RYAN: Uhhh….yes?
HOST: Well let’s find out what’s behind the first door you didn't pick! Open door number ONE…….
(SFX door creaks, donkey sfx)
HOST: (Gasp) A donkey! That means the million dollar prize is still out there! Do you want to stick with door number 3 or change your answer?
BRIDGET: (Gasp) You should change your answer!
RYAN: But why!? It could still be either door!
BRIDGET: No! It’s better odds. Two-thirds chance instead of one-thirds chance! I don’t get why exactly, but I watched a whole YouTube thing on it. Change your answer!
RYAN: Ok fine I guess, I change my answer to door number 2!
(SFX drumroll)
HOST: Reveal door number 2!
(SFX door creaks, womp womp womp sound, sfx donkey)
HOST: Oh no! It seems you picked the other door with nothing. Sorry you two, thanks for playing!
PRODUCER: (Quickly) Alright lets wrap it up folks! Take down those doors.
BRIDGET: Oh, Ryan, I am so sorry!
RYAN: What! That's it?! Oh man, I can’t believe we came this close. Do I at least get the donkey?
Producer: No.
BRIDGET: Well, I guess you win some you lose some right?
(SFX door busts open)
OFFICER: STOP RIGHT THERE!
Everyone gasps
OFFICER: I’m federal agent Alec Treeneck! And I’m here because this show is in violation of the 1934 communications act, US code 47 subchapter 509!
BRIDGET: What's that?
OFFICER: This show is rigged! You never had a chance at the million. And I’ll prove it! Officers! Open the third door!
(SFX running feet - door is busted open, sfx donkey)
RYAN: ANOTHER DONKEY Show producer how could you!
PRODUCER: (Being dragged away) NO! You don’t understand! They weren’t supposed to make it this far! I’m working with a tight budget! You wouldn't believe the stress!
BRIDGET: Wow, what a shocking turn of events. Wait, does this mean we get the million dollars?
HOST: Unfortunately, no. I've been your host Ralph Macchio. And thanks for playing The Incredible Chase. (Mumbling) I have GOT to tell my agent to stop booking me for things like this.
(SFX the incredible chase theme song)
OFFICER: Sorry you two, but we had gotten a number of complaints from former contestants and after a lengthy investigation, determined that this show was deceiving the public with its unfair practices. Better luck next time.
RYAN: Ahh, yet another way quiz shows sometimes make money. By being rigged.
OFFICER: A common misconception! We monitor game shows very closely to make sure they are, in fact, winnable and have fair practices! I’ve been your federal agent, Alec Treeneck. Goodnight.
RYAN: (Sighs) I guess we’re back to where we started. I’m still just a 46 year old financially struggling man. Bridget, mind taking the recap this time? I need a moment to compose myself.
BRIDGET: Sure buddy. Today we learned that game show prize money comes from a variety of sources. Mostly, shows pay for prizes through the show's budget, which comes from selling advertisements during commercial breaks. But sometimes special prizes, like cars or bonus money, come from sponsors. And often the really big payout comes from insurance, which is why shows try to limit the number of big winners each season. Did I miss anything?
RYAN: (Sad sigh) I think that’s about it.
(SFX email sound)
RYAN: (Gasps) BRIDGET! You won’t believe the email I just got. It’s from Mr.Beast! We’ve been selected to be contestants on his new show: Beast Wars! You know, Mr.Beast, a person whose practices will never be seen as problematic!
BRIDGET: No way, you’re on your own. I've had enough game show excitement for a lifetime.
RYAN: Please?
BRIDGET: No
RYAN: Pretty please?
BRIDGET: Still No.
–Theme Music–
RYAN: That’s all for this episode of Million Bazillion! Now we’re gonna do the credits, but you can still learn some interesting things about this episode and future episodes. Like did you know next week, we’re going to answer the question, why do gas prices go up and down? You won’t want to miss it! What are checks? And what would happen if we lived in a world without cash.
BRIDGET: If you STILL have questions, or an idea for an episode, send them to us at Marketplace dot org slash million. While you’re there, sign up for our newsletter and tipsheet to get some great ideas to continue these important money conversations at home. Marketplace dot org slash million.
RYAN: It helps to have help. Speaking of which, we had help from the experts for THIS episode, including: author and game show historian Adam Nedeff along with game show producer Bob Boden.
BRIDGET: Million Bazillion is produced by Marketplace from American Public Media. And hosted by Ryan Perez and me, Bridget Bodnar.
RYAN: This episode was written by Jasmine Romero. Our senior producer is Marissa Cabrera. Our intern is I-Yun Chan.
BRIDGET: This episode was sound designed by Bekah Wineman. And mixed by Charlton Thorp. Our theme music was created by Wonderly.
RYAN: And special thanks to the folks who leant their voices to this episode: Alexander Simpson, Jasmine Romero, Drew Jostad and Bekah Wineman.
RYAN: Bridget Bodnar is the Director of Podcasts at Marketplace. Joanne Griffith is the Chief Content Officer. Neal Scarbrough is the VP and General Manager.
BRIDGET: Million Bazillion is funded in part by the Sy Syms Foundation, partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985. And special thanks to The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance for providing the start-up funding for this podcast, and continuing to support Marketplace in our work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy.
RYAN: If Million Bazillion is helping your family have important conversations about money, consider making a one-time donation today at marketplace-dot-org-slash-givemillion, and thanks for your support.
The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance, supports Marketplace’s work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy. Next Gen Personal Finance is a non-profit that believes all students benefit from having a financial education before they cross the stage at high school graduation.
The Sy Syms Foundation: Partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985.
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