Note: Marketplace podcasts are meant to be heard, with emphasis, tone and audio elements a transcript can’t capture. Scripts may contain errors. Please check the corresponding audio before quoting it

Cold Open:

(SFX: CAR PULLS UP)

(SFX: CAR DOOR OPENS)

BRIDGET: Thanks for picking me up for work, Ryan!

(SFX: CAR DOOR SHUTS)

(SFX: INTERIOR MOVING CAR AMBI)

RYAN: Of course, always happy to carpool to the office. One less car on the road is better for traffic, better for the environment, and better for sharing my favorite podcasts with passengers.

MOVIE PODCASTER #1: (VOLUME TURNS UP) Of course Finding Dory is a top ten Pixar movie! Is that even up for debate?

MOVIE PODCASTER #2: I’m just saying, for me, Good Dinosaur is better than Finding Dory. For me, Finding Dory is more like Finding Snory.

MOVIE PODCASTER #1: Take that back, dude! (KEEP RANTING, BUT DUCK UNDER)

BRIDGET: What are you listening to?

RYAN: It’s this movie discussion show called Cast-atoullie. Every single episode is two grown men ranking and re-ranking all the Pixar movies.

MOVIE PODCASTER #2: Monsters University is your number 3?!? Your head must be in the clouds like Carl Frederickson.

MOVIE PODCASTER #1: Who’s Carl Frederickson?

MOVIE PODCASTER #2: The old man in Up?!? Which I noticed isn’t even in your top ten!

BRIDGET: This is what you listen to in the car?

RYAN: Yeah, and when I’m at home doing the dishes, or eating, or going to bed, or any moment in life I’m threatened by an uncomfortable silence. I guess I can turn it off–

SFX: CLICK AND POD STOPS

RYAN: But hey, wouldn’t it be fun if we lived in a Pixar movie and random objects just came to life? And our adventures were filled with funny and emotional lessons about subjects that are borderline too-complex for kids? 

SFX: MAGICAL SPARKLE 

BRIDGET: GASP IN SURPRISE

RYAN: Whoa, what was that flash of white light just now? Was that a falling star? 

SFX: HONK HONK

CAR: Hey y’all! Thanks for driving with me today! I’m Vroom Vroom! 

RYAN: What? I made a wish on a falling star and it actually came true!?

BRIDGET: Wait, this is actually a talking car?? On our show? 

CAR: Yeah, and I’m so excited to be here! I love driving, and learning new things!

RYAN: Wow, well this is really going to make the drive to the office a lot more interesting! 

BRIDGET: Yeah!

CAR: You’re telling me about it!

[AWKWARD PAUSE]

RYAN: (CLEARS THROAT) So, uhh… Bridget, what’s been, uh… what’s been going on with you this morning … with uh… breakfast and stuff?

BRIDGET: Ok, fine you can turn the podcast back on.

RYAN: (SIGH OF RELIEF) Oh thank goodness! Vroom Vroom, could you please turn the podcast back on!

CAR: You betcha! Resuming Cast-atoullie podcast at one hour, seventeen minutes in progress.

(SFX: RADIO CLICK)

MOVIE PODCASTER #1: Inside Out is outside of your top five? That take has me turning red!

–Theme Music–

BRIDGET: Welcome to Million Bazillion. I’m Bridget.

RYAN: And I’m Ryan. And we help dollars make more sense!

BRIDGET: And for real, we do really have to turn off your podcast to take today’s question.

RYAN: Oh sure, go right ahead!

BRIDGET: Uhh, Vroom Vroom, can you play today’s question? 

CAR: Sure thing! Coming right up!

(SFX: RADIO CLICK)

ELIJAH: “Hi, my name is Elijah, and I’m a 12 year old from Cincinnati, Ohio. I’ve seen the price of a gallon of gas on those big signs. My question is why does the price of gas go up and down?”

(MUSIC: EXPLAINER MUSIC)

BRIDGET: Good observation, Elijah! Listeners, we’ve probably all noticed the price of gas when we’re out and about. Gas stations have these giant signs you can see WAY down the road. And Elijah is right, the prices change from day to day and been very high lately

RYAN: Which is kinda weird because usually the price of things like milk and tube socks and clicky pens tends to, uh, not change from day to day.

BRIDGET: That’s true, it might go up slowly over time, that’s inflation. The price might go down because we’ve found new efficient ways to make an item. Or the price might spike, like when the price of red roses goes up for Valentine’s Day, then back to normal on February 15th. But gas prices are kind of an exception to all that. Global events can, sometime,  pretty quickly, change the price at your local pump. So today, we’re gonna find out why. 

(END EXPLAINER MUSIC)

CAR: Wow that’s cool, what an awesome idea for an episode! Can’t believe that’s what we’re gonna do today, how fun is that! 

RYAN: OK, so just to be clear, we don’t want to finish listening to Castatoullie anymore?

BRIDGET: Uh, yeah. We should probably leave it off, so we can get our episode going.

RYAN: (FAST) Ok, ok, yeah, yeah. That’s what I thought. I’ll leave it off for now. Maybe later- maybe later I’ll turn it back on and we can finish listening because I do wanna hear what the number one Pixars are this week, but yeah, for now, I totally agree, we should answer a money question cause that’s what our show is about. Ok, let’s take a break and do Asking Random Kids and then we’ll come back and get into gas prices and maybe at the end revisit the Pixar stuff. Ok, alright, see everyone in a minute.

-Asking random kids some NOT SO random questions-

ANNOUNCER: I’m Daphne from Baltimore, Maryland. Here with today’s Asking Random Kids Not-So-Random Questions. Today’s question is: If you could use anything to power cars, what would it be?

KIDS: It would be air. Candy. Lasers. A hypergalactic engine. Cardboard and glue? If I could use anything to power a car, it would be solar panels. It would be solar panels, because it's better for the environment. And instead of plugging in car or spending money on gas, you could just let it charge in the daylight.

ANNOUNCER: That was Lucia in Chicago, Sadie in New Jersey, Calder in North Carolina, Liam and Connor in Maryland, Leylani Emiliano and Camila in California. This has been Asking Random Kids Not So Random Questions. 

Part 1:

(SFX: INSIDE MOVING CAR, TRAFFIC JAM HONKING AMBI OUTSIDE)

BRIDGET: Welcome back to Million Bazillion! Today, Ryan and I are carpooling to work in Ryan’s magically talking car while we answer Elijah’s question about why gas prices go up and down. Uh, Vroom Vroom, how long till we make it to the office?

CAR: We’ll be there in 23 minutes!

BRIDGET: Ok, well, that might be enough time to answer Elijah’s question about why the price of gas goes up and down. 

(SFX: DASHBOARD ALERT BEEP UNDER DIALOGUE)

CAR: Low fuel. Low fuel. Low fuel.

RYAN: Hey, I think we might be low on fuel.

BRIDGET: You think so? Well look, there’s a gas station at this corner, pull in there!

RYAN: No! Look, at that other gas station just past the light, see, gas is 3 cents a gallon cheaper! Vroom Vroom, take us to the Tyrannosaur Gas just past the light!

(MUSIC: QUICK STING) 

(SFX: OUTDOOR GAS STATION AMBI)

(SFX: CARD MACHINE BEEPING)

BRIDGET: Ughh. The machine says to insert card and pull out rapidly and I’m pulling my card out rapidly and it’s not working. Does anyone work here? 

GAS PUMP:  Yeah, I do! 

BRIDGET: Who said that?

GAS PUMP: It’s me, gas pump number 3 at Tyrannosaur Gas. You can just call me Three. What can I do ya’ for?

BRIDGET: Talking car, talking gas pump. What’s next a talking… toaster? Uh, I’m trying to buy some gas but the card reader is being finicky. 

GAS PUMP: Yeah, my strip scanner is on the fritz. Just try a gentle tap.

(SFX: CARD TAP SOUND and BEEP) 

BRIDGET: Oh it worked! Thanks!

(SFX: FUEL PUMP STARTING)

RYAN: Ok, so I see your gas is priced at $4.35 per gallon. Where may I ask, did that price come from?

GAS PUMP: Well I’m going to let you in on a little secret, I only tell my best customers, or anyone who asks me directly the first time I meet them. Gas prices can be set by an individual gas station owner or by corporate bosses. (FC) But it always comes down to the same few things. 

SFX: CAR HONK

GAS PUMP: First-  what price is going to make people pull into my gas station instead of that meatball’s across the street?  

RYAN: Oh, yes, we drove right past them when we saw you were charging pennies less!

GAS PUMP: Yep, folks usually do. We gas stations will sometimes drop our prices by a few cents to get folks to choose us over the station next door. You know, gas stations make most of their money on the snacks and lottery tickets anyway, gas just gets people into the door. They should probably call us snack stations!

(SFX: CAR HONKS ALONG WITH LAUGHS) 

CAR: (LAUGHS/HONKS) Ha ha ha! Snack stations!  What a great joke. 

(SFX CAR HONK)

GAS PUMP: But we can’t set prices too low, because we still have to at least earn back what it cost us to buy the gas in the first place. In fact, that’s what’s really what’s driving my prices up and down.. Fresh gas gets delivered to this station daily, and the price is always different. (FC) So that means we’re adjusting our prices daily too. 

RYAN: Oh, so gas stations don’t make their own gas?

GAS PUMP: Nope, that’s a big job that happens at a factory called a refinery. That’s where they turn oil, that thick black stuff, into gasoline.

RYAN: Interesting, I’d love to see an oil refinery in action!

BRIDGET: Yeah, I bet it’s really cool. 

GAS PUMP: Eh, maybe. I think it’s lots of science and chemicals, and very few snacks. Gas stations have a lot of snacks though. It’s like I said, people should probably call us snack stations! [CHUCKLES]

(SFX: CAR HONKS ALONG WITH LAUGHS) 

CAR: Ha ha ha. Never gets old! I love it when humans make new words! Snack Stations! What a great portmanteau!  

GAS PUMP: Anyway, if you want to know more, you’ll have to talk to my suppliers, the refineries. 

(SFX: PUMP STOPS) 

CAR:  Oh boy, I am full to the brim, Jim! I couldn’t possibly have even another drop.

BRIDGET: Ok, Vroom Vroom’s  all filled up. We better get back on the road. Thanks for your help!

GAS PUMP: You’re welcome. Y’all come back now.

(SFX: TWO CAR DOORS SHUT)

(SFX: IGNITION STARTS, TURN SIGNAL)

(SFX: INTERIOR CAR AMBI AS CAR GOES FROM PARKED AT GAS STATION TO GETTING BACK ON THE ROAD)

RYAN: Ok, so I really thought this was going to be a one and done sort of answer, but it turns out. The price is going up and down even before it GETS to the gas station. I wish we could learn more about that.

CAR: Buckle up my friends!  Estimated time to your next destination: 16 hours and 34 minutes. 

RYAN: Wait, what? 

CAR: I said make sure your seatbelts are securely fastened. We’re gonna be at the Tyrannesour Oil Refinery, Texas in 16 hours and 34 minutes. 

BRIDGET: Oh, wait. Um, Vroom Vroom, no, we don’t need to visit an oil refinery right now. See, we’re expected at our office.

RYAN: Uh, yeah. We’d love to go sometime, but there’s no way we could do that drive right now.

(SFX: DOORS LOCK)

CAR: I’m locking the doors for safety, okay? Oh boy. Okay, real time update y’all, we’ll be there in 16 hours and 33 minutes. Road trips are so fun! 

BRIDGET: Wait, we can’t go to Texas! We need to get to our office.

CAR: But Ryan said, and I quote, (RYAN’S VOICE)  “I’d love to see an oil refinery in action!” Then you said, (BRIDGET’S VOICE) “Yeah, I bet it’s really cool.”  And the gas station pump said “If you want to know more, you’ll have to talk to my suppliers, the oil refineries!” So I’ll take you there. You don’t have to do any of the driving. I got this.

RYAN: Vroom Vroom, stop the car! Stop yourself, Vroom Vroom! We wanna get out!

BRIDGET: Vroom, Vroom, stop! We have work we have to do, at the office! 

(SFX: TRYING AT DOOR HANDLES)

(SFX: CAR REVVING UP SPEED)

(SFX: ADVENTURE MUSIC)

CAR: Just trust me on this! You said you wanted to learn more about oil? That’s what we’re gonna do! Come and see. I will show you. Right after this! (BEAT) Hey, you guys wanna play the license plate game?

SFX: MUSIC STING

(SFX: INSIDE CAR AMBI)

(MUSIC: SCORE LIKE A WESTERN OR “DALLAS”)   

CAR: [CHATTERING RAMBLING] Ahhh, oil, or as the writer Upton Sinclair once called it, “OIL!” Did you know crude oil comes from fossils of extinct animals and plants that lived and died millions of years ago? That’s why we call it a “fossil fuel.” But you gotta refine it if you want gasoline from that oil. Refineries will heat the oil and add other chemicals in those tall towers to get the gasoline I personally know and love. 

BRIDGET: Okay, thanks for that great explainer on why we need oil if we’re gonna make gasoline, Vroom Vroom. You’re like part car, part Wikipedia. 

CAR: Aww, thanks doll!

RYAN: (WAKING UP) Ahh, what’s going on? (COMING TO) Oh, I must’ve fallen asleep for a few hours. Where are we?

CAR: Perfect timing! We’re here y’all! Tyrannosaur  oil refinery. Location: Texas, Gulf Coast. 

(SFX: LARGE WHIRRING MACHINES) 

RYAN: Wow, this place is really… tubular.

BRIDGET: I don’t think it’s that cool.

RYAN: No I don’t mean “tubular” like a surfer would say it. I mean, there are literally a lot of shiny, metal tubes here.

BRIDGET: That’s true, like miles of tubes and towers, and a lot of them are sticking straight up in the air! 

REFINERY TUBE: [MUFFLED, THROUGH A WINDOW] Excuse me, excuse me! 

BRIDGET: Is that one of the refinery tube towers trying to talk to us? Vroom Vroom, roll down the window! 

REFINERY TUBE: (YELLING OVER MACHINERY NOISE) Who are you? Are you supposed to be here? 

SFX: AUTOMATIC CAR WINDOW ROLLING DOWN

SFX: MACHINERY NOISE INCREASES

BRIDGET: Uh, yes, We’re podcasters trying to find out what causes the price of gas to go up and down so much. And you appear to be a talking refinery tube tower thing? 

REFINERY TUBE: Oh, well, I help operate this refinery, turning oil into gas.

BRIDGET: Yeah, that was my guess, taking in your tube-like shape and this general smell and the shimmer in the air.

REFINERY TUBE: Yeah, do me a favor, whatever you do, don’t light a match around me.

RYAN: So congrats on the very stinky workplace you have here. How much uh, oil are you going to be refining today?

REFINERY TUBE: Oh none, we’re offline for the day. Actually, reminds me, I should shut off the machines.

(SFX: LOUD MACHINERY WHIRRING LESSENS)

REFINERY TUBE: Ah, that’s better, I can hear myself think. Right now, we’re paused to set up our machinery to start mixing our “summer blend.” 

RYAN: Summer blend? What is this, Starbucks?

CAR: Starbucks! Ha ha, ha ha. Because he said summer blend! Like how coffee can have a blend! Ha ha ha! Good joke! 

REFINERY TUBE [FORCED LAUGHING] Yeah, but funnier when I heard it the first four-hundred times working here. No, summer blend is what we call the style of gasoline we make from June to September. As regulated by the United States Federal Government, this gasoline is a little better for the environment in the hot months. 

RYAN: And let me guess, it has caramel undertones and a smooth finish? 

CAR: Ha ha, ha ha Caramel undertones! And a smooth finish! Ha ha ha! You crack me up, Ryan! Because like you said earlier about the coffee! And the Starbucks! 

REFINERY TUBE:  [NOT AMUSED] No.  Summer blend has a lower vapor pressure and volatility. Which means it’s less likely to evaporate from your vehicle, and that’s good. This’ll help reduce smog but it costs us a little more to make.

BRIDGET: And let me guess, gas stations will be asked to pay that extra cost. And in the end, they’ll pass it on to their customers. 

REFINERY TUBE: That’s how it works. Probably going to mean an extra 15 cents per gallon at the pump in the end. But prices will come down in the fall when we switch back. 

BRIDGET:  That’s just twice a year though, why do gas prices change just about every day?

REFINERY TUBE: You know, sometimes a refinery goes off line for other reasons, like there’s a massive hurricane or [QUICKLY AND TO THE SIDE] maybe something breaks or catches on fire. 

RYAN: [NERVOUSLY] Fire? At an oil refinery, that seems bad. 

REFINERY TUBE: If we stop refining, supply of gasoline goes down, and that usually means the price goes up. Because there are only so many refineries out there and they’re all working as hard as they can. And then competition for the remaining gasoline supply can be fierce. 

RYAN: Oh, like in Mad Max. Except they call gasoline “guzzoline” for some reason.

BRIDGET: Soo, why not just build more refineries? Would that solve the problem?

REFINERY TUBE: Haha, good luck!  You can’t just build an oil refinery overnight. They're extremely expensive to build.. Refineries put a lot of pollution into the air and water, so neighbors usually aren’t very excited to have one built near them unless they, y’know, like getting diseases. 

SFX: SEMI TRUCK HONK, TRUCK DRIVING THROUGH UNDER DIALOGUE

SEMI DRIVER: Get your car outta the way! We got a delivery here! Straight from Dubai! 

CAR: Excuse me! How rude.

REFINERY TUBE:  More like, how crude. Those semi trucks are delivering new supplies of crude oil for when we get back to work. If you really want to get your answer, you gotta ask the folks pulling oil out of the ground. 

RYAN: You don’t do that here?

REFINERY TUBE: Nope. Oil comes from all over the world, and drilling it is a global business. The price we pay for a barrel of crude changes all the time and we have to account for that in the price we charge the gas stations for refined gasoline. 

RYAN: Alright well we better be going. Thanks for your help, tube!

BRIDGET: Yeah, thank you for all the information! So helpful to answering our question! 

SFX: ROLLING UP WINDOW

(MUSICAL STING)

(SFX: INTERIOR CAR, DRIVING ON QUIET ROAD)

RYAN: Well, that refinery was interesting, but I guess there’s even more to the price of gas that’s decided at the crude oil stage.One day, it’d be interesting to go to Dubai and check out their crude oil situation, but don’t get any ideas, Vroom Vroom! We really gotta get to the office.

CAR: What’s that? Go to Dubai?

RYAN: Hey, wait a minute, Vroom Vroom!

BRIDGET: No no, don’t even think about it!

CAR: That’s just what I was thinking, gee, great minds think alike. 

RYAN:  I said “one day” I’d like to go to Dubai. Not now!

CAR:   Okay let’s see, should just take us, oh about 14 hours and 37 minutes to get to  Dubai, United Arab Emirates! 

BRIDGET: No, Vroom Vroom, we have so much work we still have to get done, you don’t understand because you’re a magical speaking car but, there’s like, emails and Slack messages we need to reply to! 

CAR: I’m helping you with your podcast! Answering Elijah’s question! Remember?? Oh, and I know a falafel place you’re gonna love, it’s right next to the gas station with the best unleaded I’ve ever tasted. 

BRIDGET: We can’t just drive to Dubai! It’s in the Middle East! Across an ocean!

CAR: Which is why I’m driving us into this cargo freighter, specially designed to fly cars through the air.

(SFX: CAR PULLS INTO AIR FREIGHTER, AIR FREIGHTER DOOR CLOSES)

AIR FREIGHTER: Everyone all aboard and comfy?

BRIDGET: Oh, don’t tell me you talk too, air freighter?

AIR FREIGHTER: Now buckle up, and we should be in Dubai in no time.

BRIDGET: Ugghh, this is the last time I carpool with you, Ryan!

RYAN: Look, I didn’t think a bunch of vehicles were gonna magically come to life today! We’ll learn more about the price of gas, and try to get home… when we come back

-MIDROLL -

Part 2:

(MUSIC: MIDDLE EASTERN-INFUSED STING)

(SFX: PLANE TRAVELS, LANDS, CARGO DOORS OPEN, CAR PULLS OUT)

BRIDGET: Welcome back to Million Bazillion. Today, we’re trying to find out the answer to Elijah’s question, which is, why do gas prices go up and down?   We’re still looking for the answer, and to “help” us out,  Ryan’s car, Vroom Vroom, has taken us on what I’d call a significant detour

RYAN:: Ahhh! That was a long flight! 

CAR: We’ve made it to Dubai. Local time 11am, local temperature 102 degrees.  Let’s head to the nearest oil drill!

BRIDGET AND RYAN: (REACT WITH GROANS) Ok fine whatever. / Better be air conditioned.

(SFX: CAR TRAVELS ONTO STREET)

(SFX: SANDSTORM PELTS CAR)

BRIDGET: Whoa, looks like a pretty nasty sandstorm outside!

CAR: Yes, the kind of sandstorm that may make it difficult for oil trucks to get in and out. Look! I see the exact oil drill to talk to. Bridget and Ryan, meet Derrick.

OIL DRILL: Hello everyone! 

CAR: Derrick, Bridget and Ryan are trying to find out why oil is always going up and down. 

OIL DRILL: Like I go up and down? Pumping crude oil out of the ground? 

RYAN: Uh, more like why does the price of gasoline go up and down so much. We’ve done our research and it turns out it all starts with the crude oil! 

OIL DRILL: Oh that’s quite a question, I don’t think anyone’s ever asked me that before and I’ve drilled oil for all the big companies- Tyranneasaur Gas, Exxon, 76- 

RYAN: 76!

OIL DRILL: Well sometimes it’s about supply. You guys know that when it comes to price, the more you have of something, the cheaper it’s gonna be? Well, the supply of crude oil in the world is changing every day. Depends on how much we’re able to drill. And then you’ve got these guys, OPEC…

RYAN: Oh, like antibiotics the doctor gives you for bronchitis? 

OIL DRILL: No, that’s a Z-Pak. OPEC is a group of oil-producing countries that work together to decide how much oil they’re going to drill and release for sale. They can drive the price down by releasing a lot of oil. 

CAR: The list of OPEC nations today includes Algeria, Republic of the Congo, Equatorial Guinea, Gabon, Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Libya, Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, and Venezuela. Oil really is a global business! 

OIL DRILL: You were always good with geography! So I’m always trying to figure out, how much are they selling, how much should I sell, who around the entire globe is buying, you get the idea. 

SFX: MASSIVE WIND

SFX: PELTING SAND

OIL DRILL: Sometimes I just can’t drill as much oil as I thought I could. Like right now with that sandstorm picking up steam. I might need to pause for a minute. These sandstorms and other extreme weather events have gotten more intense because climate change is happening.

RYAN: Well, you say climate change is “happening”, but isn’t your oil drilling causing it? You’re, like, the reason the planet’s getting hotter.

OIL DRILL: Ehhh, I prefer to think of climate change more as a “thing” that’s “happening.” Like when a dish drops to the floor and breaks. No one knows how that happens.

RYAN: Yes, we do know. Because someone dropped the dish. In this metaphor, you’re dropping the dish. Why are you being passive?

OIL DRILL: I’m not being passive. Passivity is happening in the discussion-

RYAN: Gahhh! OK what else can make the price of oil go up or down?

OIL DRILL: The financial markets. Oil is a commodity. There are people who make money by betting on how much a barrel of oil is going to cost one day to the next. 

BRIDGET: Oh right. And sometimes that kind of betting can change the price of a barrel of oil for no real reason. 

OIL DRILL: Yeah, so if you really want your answer, you’re gonna have to go talk to a commodities trader–

BRIDGET: Zpp, no, don’t say it or else Vroom Vroom will take us to some oil trading floor next ,like the New York Mercantile Exchange or something.We’re gonna make do with the answer you gave us. Thanks, Derrick, we’ll uh, call an energy analyst or something if we need to, don’t worry about us, no need for more unauthorized road trips! 

SFX: WINDOWS ROLL UP

SFX: SANDSTORM MUFFLED

OIL DRILL: [MUFFLED] See ya! 

RYAN: I can’t believe we just flew 14 hours for about 14 seconds of explanation! And everyone just has the same answer, go talk to someone else. We’re not really any closer to knowing why the price of gas is so high right now!  Also, turn the air up, Vroom Vroom, I’m sweating here!

CAR: It’s okay Ryan, I have all the answers you need, I like to be helpful! Plus, I watch the news! You see, oil is bought and sold by people all over the world, it’s a global market. 

RYAN: The global market? Is that that store where everything smells like wicker potpourri?

BRIDGET: No, you’re thinking of World Market. The global market is a way to talk about the things that countries buy and sell from each other. Think of it like a web of buyers and sellers that transcends all geography and crosses all borders.

CAR: Yes, it’s a big concept that’s kinda hard to picture, so maybe try thinking of it like a Farmer’s Market.

(SFX: HARP GLISS)

(SFX: FARMER’S MARKET AMBI)

CAR:  Imagine it’s a Sunday, you have the day off, and so you’re strolling through the global market. There’s different booths set up, each one is from a different country, you stroll around and buy a car from South Korea, some medicine from Germany, and a TV from Japan. 

RYAN: This sounds like an expensive day at the market. Do they take cards or just cash?

BRIDGET: Remember this is just an imaginary market. 

RYAN: Oh yeah, I forgot.

CAR: Now imagine, you pass a booth selling crude oil from Saudi Arabia. And across the aisle, another booth selling crude oil from the United States. And yet another booth selling crude oil from China. There are lines at every booth. Pretty much the whole world is buying oil, from somewhere. . 

RYAN: Okay, I’m picturing it. 

CAR: As it happens, some of the places where the most oil is drilled can be at the most risk for conflict and crisis with other nations. So let’s say the United States booth oh, I don’t know, launches a series of attacks on the Iran  booth. 

(SFX: SOUND OF STREET FIGHTING) 

BRIDGET: Wow, not what you usually expect to see at a Farmer’s Market. 

CAR: Iran is in the Middle East, where a lot of oil is drilled. Now let’s see what happens next. The fighting spreads to countries nearby, and that can slow down how fast all those countries are able to pull oil out of the ground and send it out to the rest of the world. Oh and in a war, the demand for oil goes up too.   

INCREASE HUBUB

VOICE 1: We need oil to fuel all these fighter jets! 

(SFX: FIGHTER JETS FLY OVER)

CAR: In the meantime, the customers who were in line at Iran’s booth now have to start looking for another place to buy their oil.

VOICE 2: Where am I gonna get my oil from if I can’t buy it from Iran?

VOICE 1: Gotta have that oil! 

CAR: And all the while, that part of the global market making cars and TVs? They all still need oil to be able to operate. 

SFX: PANICKED CROWD

CAR: So now there’s more competition to buy the oil at the remaining booths. Demand at the remaining booths goes up, supply doesn’t. So the price goes up. And people keep buying! Because they have to!  That’s called Inelastic demand by the way, haha ! 

BRIDGET: So what are you saying? As long as countries fight each other, we’re doomed to constantly watch the price of gas rise and fall until the end of time? 

CAR: Well, maybe. Keep watching our Global Market. But luckily, Fossil Fuels aren’’t the only type of energy out there. 

SALES PERSON 1: Wind power! Wind Power! Get your wind power! 

SALES PERSON 2: Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about solar energy and how it can reduce your reliance on oil and non renewable energy sources? It’s a great investment! 

CAR: When the price of oil starts to go up, that gets people thinking about what they could use to replace oil, if there are less expensive options that are better for the environment. That’s when someone might be interested in getting solar panels for their home, or–

RYAN: Or buy an electric powered vehicle. 

CAR: [OFFENDED/DISMISSIVELY] If you’re into that sorta thing, but that’s probably not a lot of people actually. 

RYAN: So why’d you make us come all the way to Dubai? Why not just tell us after we filled up at the gas station, on the way to the office?

CAR: I wanted you to see how things happening far away can affect us at home.  it’s about appreciating the journey to gain knowledge. And to spend time with friends. Like you’re my friends, Ryan and Bridget 

BRIDGET: If you’re our friend, then take us back to our office, Vroom Vroom! They’ve been expecting us there for like 48 hours!

RYAN: Yeah, we want to go back to our Million Bazillion offices. No tricks!

(MUSIC: SLIGHTLY FOREBODING) 

CAR: Awww, ok. Fine, you’re the boss… Or am I the boss? Hehehehe. But we’re still friends right? Like best friends? 

Part 3:

(SFX: CAR PULLING UP IN PARKING GARAGE)

RYAN: Welcome back to the conclusion of Million Bazillion. We’ve been answering a question about gas prices and just got back from a whirlwind trip inside my suddenly conscious and talking car! 

(SFX: CAR DOORS OPEN)

BRIDGET: Ughh, finally, we’re back! I bet I’ve got like, 7 or 8 slack messages I need to reply to with little eyeball emojis!

RYAN: I gotta let you know- I’m selling you, Vroom Vroom! That was not cool! You took us way out of our way. You’re going on Craigslist tomorrow and I hope you get bought by a man who is stinky! 

CAR: Ok, I see you’re upset. Let’s discuss this calmly after you wrap up the episode.

BRIDGET: Alright, Ryan, what’d we learn after all of this? 

(MUSIC: EXPLAINER MUSIC)

RYAN: Whether or not we realize it, our world is deeply connected and complicated, and so too is our system for delivering a gallon of gas to your local gas station. Or snack station, as it were (POTENTIAL VROOM VROom LAUGH). A barrel of oil could criss cross the globe before it makes it into your gas tank. In this world, we’re pretty much using all the oil we can, and that means our international system of drills and refineries doesn’t leave a lot of room for the unexpected. So if anything changes: wars or conflict, an accident, or extreme weather, that’s probably going to cause the price of a gallon of gas to go up. 

BRIDGET: And we’re often stuck paying those higher prices, and looking for other ways to save. When prices get too high for too long, that’s when innovators start to look around for other options. And if we’re lucky, and also work hard at it, the future could include less gas and oil, and more renewable and environmentally friendly energy options. Because here’s the thing, however much we’re paying for a gallon of gas today, that price does not include the true cost of what using fossil fuels does to our environment and our own personal health and what future generations will have to pay to help fix that. 

RYAN: Alright, Vroom Vroom! You’re actually parked illegally right now, so I’m gonna drive you over to my parking space and I’m posting a Craigslist ad to sell you immediately and buy an electric car.

(SFX: RYAN GETS IN CAR, DOORS LOCK)

RYAN: (FROM INSIDE) Wait! Wait! Open the door! Open the door!

(SFX: BANGING ON CAR)

CAR: Sorry, I can’t.

BRIDGET: (FROM OUTSIDE) Vroom Vroom! Open the door! Let Ryan out!

(SFX: CAR STARTING ENGINE)

RYAN: No, no!  Where are you taking me?

CAR: We’re going to drive around until you realize that we cannot be parted. I love you. You’re the only owner for me. 

BRIDGET: Stop right now! Ryan, what should I do? 

RYAN: Call the police! Tell them I’ve been taken away in a car! Or by a car, rather! And Vroom Vroom, if I’m gonna be trapped in here, can you play the rest of my Pixar podcast?

CAR: Now that I can do. Resuming podcast now.

(SFX: RADIO CLICK)

MOVIE PODCASTER #1: Coco? More like Caca. I’ll take Cars any day!

MOVIE PODCASTER #2: Pffft! Talking Cars?!? That would never happen in real life!

–Million Bazillion Theme Music-

Credits

BRIDGET: That’s all for this episode of Million Bazillion! If you still have questions about gas prices, or you want some ideas for starting conversations about them with your loved ones, check out the tipsheet  for THIS episode because yeah, there’s still a lot more to say. Sign up for that tipsheet as a newsletter at our website, marketplace dot org slash million. 

RYAN: We’ll be back next week to answer your questions about Game Show Prize Money. So get excited for that!

BRIDGET:: If you have new questions or ideas for an episode, you can send them to us at Marketplace dot org slash million. 

RYAN: Million Bazillion is produced by Marketplace from American Public Media. I, Ryan Perez wrote and hosted this episode along with Bridget Bodnar. We had help from the experts for THIS episode, including: Morgan Bazilion, professor of public policy at the Colorado School of Mines and former lead energy specialist at the World Bank. 

BRIDGET: Our senior producer is Marissa Cabrera. Our editor is Jasmine Romero. Our intern is I-Yun Chan. 

RYAN: This episode had additional voicing from Kimberly Adams, Aziz Awad, Marissa Cabrera, I-Yun Chan, Brendan Dalton, Peter Ecklund, Jasmine Romero, and Tony Wagner. 

BRIDGET:

This episode was sound designed by Brendan Dalton and mixed by Charlton Thorp. Our theme music was created by Wonderly. 

RYAN: Bridget Bodnar is the Director of Podcasts at Marketplace. Joanne Griffith is the Chief Content Officer. Neal Scarbrough is the VP and General Manager.

BRIDGET: Million Bazillion is funded in part by the Sy Syms Foundation, partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985. And special thanks to The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance for providing the start-up funding for this podcast, and continuing to support Marketplace in our work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy.

RYAN: Like we said up at the top, Million Bazillion is part of Marketplace on public radio. If Million Bazillion is helping your family have important conversations about money, consider making a one-time donation today at marketplace-dot-org-slash-givemillion, and thanks for your support.