Would you tell your BFF about your credit card debt?

Over the last six years of hosting “This Is Uncomfortable,” Reema Khrais has talked with a lot of people about their debt, student debt, medical debt, and of course credit card debt. If you’re a longtime listener, you’ve heard people share stories about turning to egg donations, working in the Canadian oil sands and even leaving the country to escape their debt.

And there’s a common refrain in so many of these stories: just how much shame people feel about their debt. Overall, Americans owe $1.23 trillion in credit card debt, according to the Federal Reserve, and a survey from LendingTree last year revealed that nearly 40% of those with credit card debt have lied about it. But hiding your balances and avoiding conversations can sometimes only make the problem worse.

This week, Khrais talks to Jamie Feldman and Rachel Webster, the co-hosts and creators of “Debt Heads,” a podcast that explores the American economy from the perspective of people in debt. They talk about Feldman’s crushing credit card debt, which she kept secret for years, and how their friendship grew even stronger when she finally confessed that she needed help.

If you can relate to Feldman’s story, here are some episode takeaways:

• Is your spending aligned with your values? Feldman was racking up a lot of debt on social obligations like dinners out and destination weddings, until Webster helped her make sense of what was actually important to her. “I wasn't living in line with my values,” Feldman recounts, “and you know, I feel really lucky to have a friend that was sitting next to me and helping me kind of make sense of that.”

• Keep a budget to track your spending. “Knowing how much money I have coming in, coming out… was the only way I was ever gonna be able to pay any of the [debt off],” reflects Feldman.

• Tell a friend: Don’t let shame keep you silent. Feldman and Webster strongly encourage other people to stop keeping their debt a secret, and instead tell a friend. “My whole life has changed,” says Feldman. “Like, everything about my life is different than it was before I started talking to Rachel and to the entire internet about money… and it's better!”

If you’ve had a personal experience with debt impacting your relationships, let us know by emailing uncomfortable@marketplace.org, calling 347-RING-TIU, or filling out the form at the bottom of the page.