First comes love, then comes the prenup

Splashy headlines about prenups of the rich and famous aside (Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, Beyonce and Jay-Z), the use of prenuptial agreements is on the rise. One survey found around 20% of married Americans have a prenup, and nearly half say they’d be open to it, especially Gen-Z and millennials. 

This week, Reema Khrais sits down with two people who see couples at some of their most intimate crossroads: family lawyer Sahar Taylor and financial therapist Aja Evans. They dig into misconceptions around prenups, the practical side of how they work, and the deeper question underneath: how do you build a shared financial life that feels fair, while still protecting yourself? 

A few takeaways from the episode: 

• Prenups are not just for rich people: they protect you against future problems. No one wants to think about how their partner might get them into financial trouble, but it happens! Prenups can protect against debt, so that your partner’s sports betting habit or credit card debt doesn’t become your financial burden. And maybe you’re not rich now, but if one of you wins the lottery or gets a big promotion, you’ll be glad you had a prenup in place. Today there are online services that help you write up a prenup for less than you’d spend with a family lawyer. If you don’t have many assets but want to be protected for the future, that could come in handy. 

• Prenups don’t have to feel “unromantic.” Think of this as an opportunity to communicate honestly about your values and insecurities. “Remember that the reason you're doing this is because you love each other, is because you want to make sure that each person is okay, is because you want to make sure children are protected if something does happen to your relationship,” Aja explains. “Like, it's not me against you. It's us against the worst case scenario.” And maybe, if you approach this conversation with vulnerability and compassion, this process can even bring you closer together.

• What should be included: A basic prenup should address spousal support (who gets how much and for how long), debt, real estate, businesses, and even wills. When Sahar got married, she and her husband included wills in their prenup: “So let's say tomorrow he ends up wanting to draft a will that leaves nothing to my children. There is a percentage of his assets that will go to my kids, and he can't will it all away.” 

• Prenups can address a lot more than just money: For example, you can include clauses about frozen eggs and embryos; if you ever go through fertility treatments, those may become contentious assets! Prenups can also account for who gets custody of shared pets in the event of a divorce. 

If you have thoughts about prenups - if you’ve signed one or are trying to decide if you should - we’d love to hear about it! You can email us at uncomfortable@marketplace.org, leave a message at 347-RING-TIU, or fill out the form below.