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This Is Uncomfortable

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Jan 22, 2026

Help! My coworker wants a copy of my house key!

Plus more of your work-related questions.

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Journalist and podcaster Sarah Hagi
Journalist and podcaster Sarah Hagi
Photo credit: Brendan George Ko

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“Work Drama” is the “This Is Uncomfortable” advice column, answering your questions about sticky work situations. This week, Reema tackles your questions about workplace tension, co-worker cliques, bosses behaving badly, and some bizarre office policies. And she’s joined by one of our favorite culture writers and podcasters, Sarah Hagi, who hosts “Scamfluencers.”

If you have any work drama going on, we want to hear about it! You can send it to us at uncomfortable@marketplace.org, leave a message at 347-RING-TIU, or fill out the form at the bottom of the page.

Reema and producer Alice Wilder shared some listener questions with Sarah Hagi, and here’s her advice (lightly edited for clarity and length):

  • Question 1: “I've been working as a consultant for the last four years. 90% of my work during this time has been directly or indirectly through a very successful man. A year ago, that work dried up. When I reached out, he emphasized to me that he's working on a new solo project. A few months later, I saw him post about his new business on LinkedIn. When I checked the website, my photo and bio were there, as if I was a part of his team. I do not work for this man. I'm also the only senior woman on his site, so I feel like I am being used as window dressing for his business. I don't want to have an awkward conversation or cut myself out of future work, but he's profiting off of my name and reputation. Should I address it with him? And if so, what should I say?” – Unpaid Co-worker

Sarah Hagi: I really think the best way to go about talking to someone like that would be to have everything in writing, in case it needs to be escalated. I would email: “Hey, I saw this on your website. Could you please explain?” Then it puts him in the position of having to explain exactly what is going on, which will be hard! He’s going to back himself into this corner of either admitting he did something weird or taking it down or giving you a job.

The “Work Drama” verdict: Okay, Unpaid Coworker, it sounds like you've got no choice but to have an awkward conversation. Put your thoughts in writing first so you have a paper trail. And be polite, but direct with him, because at the end of the day, he's profiting off of your image and reputation. So you've got to set a boundary.

  • Question 2: “I work for a successful law firm. My onboarding documents specifically say that the company doesn't ‘do raises’ and prefers to do occasional bonuses. It also says not to discuss pay with colleagues, which I know is illegal. Everyone I speak with complains, but only 1 out of the 6 people I've spoken to is interested in a collective message to management. There's 30 total staff, I work remotely, and I don't think I can organize everyone to my side. As a reformed job hopper, I'm okay to stay for 2 years until it's more acceptable to leave. Should I push back alone?” – Ready for a Raise

Hagi: To me, that sounds like a scam. But I do think a lot of workplaces get away with giving people little perks instead of actually giving them what they want, which is real money. And it sounds like a bonus system is more tied to being competitive and less to do with doing good work, which I’m guessing is why they also don't want people to discuss pay. And it sounds really rough, especially when your co-workers don't want to rock the boat. I don't think it's something that could happen instantly; it would probably take a while to get people on the same page to discuss how this isn't really fair.

Reema Khrais: Because to be clear, the National Labor Relations Act protects the right for most people to share their wages, so they could file a complaint. But I think you're right: it sounds like this person is drawn to organizing, so maybe trust that instinct. And they could have more casual conversations probably with people in the office.

And what do you think about “job hopping”? Like people who feel like they need to stay at a workplace.

Hagi: I don’t think it looks bad to be a “job hopper,” depending on what your world is. And if this is a place where they won't budge, and it's too much work for one person to try and organize their coworkers to ask for better, you might be better off going somewhere else, because that terrible feeling of it not being really fair will ruin your life.

The “Work Drama” verdict: So Ready for a Raise, I know that being seen as a job hopper might be hard, but what's actually harder is going to work every day in a place where you don't feel respected. So if you want to stay and make a change, maybe try having a bunch of low stakes, trust-building conversations with your coworkers before you can make moves as a group. And remember, you can always file a complaint with the National Labor Relations Board about your job’s “no talking about pay” policy.

  • Question 3: “I've been working on my team for about a year and a half and am much younger than my coworkers. They’ve all worked together for 9+ years, while I’m new to the team. The transition has not been smooth and it feels like no matter what I do, the team doesn't consider me to be, well, part of the team. I was also told by other team members that they had not wanted to hire me, but had preferred an internal candidate who was working in another position in the organization. I feel openly ignored and left out in a way that sometimes makes it difficult to do my job. So now I'm wondering if there's a problem with my age (I am at least 10 years younger than the next youngest team member), my identification (I am non-binary in a state with strong views about gender identity), or personality (I tend to be much more organized and structured than my teammates). I feel very isolated and lonely in a job that is otherwise a dream come true for me. What should I do?” – The Sore Thumb

Hagi: I always find it so strange when workplaces are cliquey like that. The worst thing about jobs is that you have to be around people that you otherwise wouldn't really want to know. Which is harsh to say, but it’s like, in what universe would I ever know these people? Regardless of whatever effort you put in, there's only so much you can do with people that you don't have anything in common with outside of work. And it's not up to you to prove that you’re worth being friends with. I think it's better to let go of that, if you feel like you've really tried, and figure out a way to be comfortable and confident at work without their validation. Obviously, that’s easier said than done.

Khrais: One of my first jobs was like that, where I was the younger person, and most folks were like in their 40s and 50s and had been with the company for years. Eventually, I reframed how I thought about my coworkers and my relationships with them: “Okay, I'm not going to be like best friends with these people necessarily, but there are things I can learn from them.” And so, there was one person in particular who I peppered with questions all the time and just pulled up my chair to ask if I could shadow her. And then naturally obviously, when you're working closely with someone like that, they start talking about their personal life, or other things start to come up and then you form connections and then you have things to follow up on. So I do think it can happen in that way if you approach it as: “How can I learn from you?”

Hagi: In my mind, if I was the older person in that situation, I'd think this cool young person has better things to do than want to be my friend! But also, if you feel excluded, it's so easy to internalize it and think, “This isn't clicking because they hate me and they think there's something wrong with me.” And then you're kind of behaving in that manner towards them, right?

Alice Wilder: What if this person found their least unfriendly coworker (even if that means that they're not that friendly) and asked them out for coffee? Sometimes you need a bridge person to vouch for you and introduce you into the group. Or over lunch you can mention, “Hey I've been feeling not in on the joke at work.. Is this something you experienced when you started?” If you can convey how you've been struggling, maybe they didn’t even realize they were leaving you out.

The “Work Drama” verdict: So Sore Thumb, it sounds like you're really going through it. Seek out a bridge person, someone who you can see yourself connecting with, and maybe make the first move by asking them to grab lunch with you. And if that doesn't work, just know that you shouldn't have to prove that you're worth being friends with. At that point, the problem is probably with them, and not you.

  • Question 4: “How do I tell my coworker (who I see 3x a week) that she cannot have a copy of my house key? We’re work friends but not friend friends. She’s going through a break up and wants to stay with me while she moves out of the home she shared with her boyfriend. She doesn’t have a lot of friends and I feel for her but also…I do not want to give her a key to my place.” – Not Your Roommate

Hagi: You have to be firm in this. Like, there's no way to sugarcoat it. That is how you get a squatter! This is the moment where you need to set the rules and say, “Listen, I just don't really do that. I don’t share my key, but I could help you in other ways…” But to me, it's a hard no, and if you give in at all, it's over. Once you allow someone to have your key. It's really hard to get it back. You got to change your locks, basically.

Khrais: Yeah, this is an example of how easily your friends and coworker lines can get blurred. I've had to remind myself in the past, “Oh yeah, they are my friend, but they're also my coworker first.” In my early 20s, I was such an oversharer with my coworkers, and I don't necessarily regret it, but it did blur the lines, where I was crying at work telling them about the latest drama in my life. Maybe for my own sanity, I should have had some stricter boundaries.

The “Work Drama” verdict: Okay, not your roommate. You've got to set some clear boundaries, even if it's awkward. And maybe consider reevaluating how much you share with your co-workers, unless you're eventually okay with changing your locks.

Got a work problem you want some advice on? Email us at uncomfortable@marketplace.org, leave a message at 347-RING-TIU, or fill out the form below.








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