It’s Skimbleshanks’ birthday bash and Bridget and Ryan head to the two-dollar general store for party supplies. When they get back, they tackle Harper’s question about why $2 bills exist if nobody uses them. With a little help from two ghostly guests from history they discover why this rare bill still matters.
After you listen to the episode, here are some questions and conversation starters you can use with your kid listener to see how much they learned about the $2 bill:
What do you think of a $2 bill? If you got one, would you save it or spend it?
If you could create your own bill, how much would it be worth? And, who or what would you put on it?
Why do you think people don’t use $2 bill very much?
*Bonus* Not-So-Random Question: If you had to write a song about money, what would it sound like?
For listeners who want to keep learning, we’ve got some ideas:
Confused why we have pennies? Listen to this “Million Bazillion” episode!
Listen to this “Million Bazillion” episode to understand why money looks the way it does. Why are dollar bills green?
Check out this handy website to understand more about the $2 bill and its history.
Did you know you can buy uncut sheets of U.S. currency, including $2 bills?
Thanks for listening to this episode! We’re working on future seasons and would love to hear your kid’s money questions!
Record your Million Bazillionaire and send the audio using this online form and we just might include your kid in an upcoming episode!
Note: Marketplace podcasts are meant to be heard, with emphasis, tone and audio elements a transcript can’t capture. Scripts may contain errors. Please check the corresponding audio before quoting it.
TWO BY TWO
Cold Open
(SFX Sounds of Bridget digging through a box)
BRIDGET: [FROM A DISTANCE] Hey Ryan! Did you move all my crafting supplies?!
RYAN: Oh um…I might have used up some of them…
BRIDGET: Wait a second! My glue is empty, my construction paper only has yellow left, and you mangled my scissors! What did you make?!
RYAN: It’s not my fault! I saw a tiktok about how to make your own Piñata! So I cut up a bunch of old delivery boxes and made this beauty!
(SFX: Ryan dragging a giant piñata out)
BRIDGET: (Gasp) What is that!?
RYAN: It’s a Jerome Powell-iñata, can’t you tell?! I thought it would be a nice addition to the decor for my cat, Skimbleshanks’ “Federal Reserve” themed birthday party!
BRIDGET: I am stunned speechless.
RYAN:(Huffy) I think he’s going to love it.
BRIDGET: It’s truly magnificent. A testament to your creative spirit and love for Skimbleshanks. So you gonna come with me to the Two Dollar General to buy replacements for all my crafting supplies?
RYAN: You mean the Dollar General? The store where everything costs one dollar?
BRIDGET: No, they renamed it. Now it’s “the Two Dollar General”. Between the tariffs and inflation, everything is more expensive now.
RYAN: I gotta say, Two Dollar General really doesn't roll off the tongue- or the wallet. Oh here comes Skimbleshanks now. Look what I made you, my darling!
(SFX HISS and Terrified Meow, PINATA TORN UP)
[BEAT]
BRIDGET: I think he loved it.
–MILLION BAZILLION THEME–
BRIDGET: Welcome back to Million Bazillion!
RYAN: Where we help dollars make more sense! I’m Ryan
BRIDGET: And I’m Bridget! And we just got back from the Two Dollar General store, and let me tell you…two dollars, it doesn’t buy as much as it used to!
RYAN: What’s the world coming to!? Back in my day, you could get a bag of chips and an apple for a nickel and STILL have change left over!
BRIDGET: Ok you’re not THAT old. While we unpack my crafting supplies and before we get back to setting up for the birthday party for Skimbleshanks, Ryan’s cat, why don’t we listen to today’s question:
HARPER: My name is Harper, I live in Indianapolis Indiana and I have a question. My question is, why are there two dollar bills when nobody uses them?
BRIDGET: Ooh, say more!
HARPER Extra One time my sister found a two dollar bill in the car . I started to wonder why there aren’t many two dollar bills and why nobody uses them.
BRIDGET: Excellent question Harper. Two dollar bills would actually have been kind of handy for our trip to the Two Dollar General.
RYAN: (Guffaws) Bridget don’t be silly, two dollar bills aren't real! They’re an urban myth, like alligators in the sewers or a soft landing after a recession.
BRIDGET: No…two dollar bills are most definitely very real and legal tender. They’ve got Thomas Jefferson on the front. An engraving of the signing of the Declaration of Independence on the back. In fact, my grandpa used to collect them I think. There’s a whole box of them around here somewhere….
(SFX shuffling boxes)
BRIDGET: AHA! Grandpappy's Two Dollar Bill box! Check it out
RYAN: (Gasp) Look at all these two dollar bills! Wow, I’ve never actually seen one in real life! They’re so rare and weird. They must be worth a fortune!
BRIDGET: Huh? How’s that? Aren’t they just worth…two dollars, right? Like it says right there on the bill?
RYAN: Wait, if they’re only worth two dollars then why did your grandpap collect them?
BRIDGET: I dunno. I mean, I guess like you said, they’re kind of rare and weird. It was just kind of a quirk of his. Every time he saw one, he would just…keep it.
RYAN: Huh. Wait a minute, one of these two dollar bills is different! How cool. Most of them have a picture of Thomas Jefferson on ‘em, but this one has a picture of Alexander Hamilton!
(SFX: LOUD POP)
HAMILTON GHOST: You rang?
RYAN and BRIDGET: AHHH!
BRIDGET: Ghost of Alexander Hamilton! What are you doing here?
HAMILTON: You found a two dollar bill with my face on it! I thought I would pop by and explain how it got there.
BRIDGET: That's…nice of you. You just…do that? Don’t you have other, ghost things to do?
HAMILTON: Not really…all the other founding fathers ghosts are busy today so I was just hanging out by myself…I think they might have a group chat I’m not on, but maybe that’s just me being paranoid…
RYAN: (Clearing his throat) Right, so…what's the deal with this bill? All the rest of these twos have Thomas Jefferson’s face on them. Except this one has yours. Honestly though, what’s with the two dollar bill in the first place? Why do we even have them? I thought they were an urban myth- like penalties for Netflix password sharing.
HAMILTON: (A little affronted) Two dollar bills are absolutely real and THAT one is a collectors item, which means yes, it’s worth far far more than a mere two dollars! Have some respect, not EVERYONE gets their face on a bill!
RYAN: Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you! I’m just surprised is all! My interest is piqued!
HAMILTON: I can see it’s time for a history lesson. The federal government printed a special type of paper money during the Civil War. Those bills were called greenbacks because they were green on one side, and that was really weird back then! That included 1s, 5s, 10s, 20s…and TWOs of course! Those amounts, or denominations are still printed to this day!
RYAN: Right, but it was probably still a rarity then I bet, like the Criterion Collection’s out of print DVD edition of The Third Man.
HAMILTON: (Still ruffled) No, not at all! Back in those times, the two dollar bill was really useful!
(SFX Dreamy back in time music - we land in an olde colonial town, horses trot and the town cryer rings a bell)
TOWN CRYER: Hear Ye, Hear Ye - come and get Ye old Newspaper! The Civil War rages on and…well, that's most of what's going on currently.
HAMILTON (VO): A lot of people used to get paid with $2 bills for a day's work.
CARPENTER: Nothing like a crisp $2 bill at the end of a hard days work as a carpenter!
BLACKSMITH: I also got $2 for my work as a blacksmith. Shall we go grab a drink at Ye Olde Pub?
CARPENTER: Ye Olde better bet!
(SFX BACK TO THE PRESENT)
RYAN: Two dollars for a whole day's work? Seems kinda low, don’t cha think?
HAMILTON GHOST: Well $2 back then would be worth about 73 dollars today! And then keep in mind, your money went a lot further back then!
BRIDGET: Yeesh! I guess that's what 160 years of inflation can do.
RYAN: Why on earth would people stop using such a useful bill??
HAMILTON: Probably because they put Thomas Jefferson’s face on it.
BRIDGET: That’s not why.
HAMILTON: Well it’s hard to really know why I suppose. Some say those Jefferson two dollar bills got a bad rap because they were being used for some…unscrupulous ends.
RYAN: Ohhhhhhh…. Wait, what does unscrupulous mean?
HAMILTON: It means… naughty.
RYAN: Ohhhh, that’s what I thought. And I can’t wait to find out what those unscrupulous things were…right after this break.
-----ARK -----
KIMBERLY: And now … it’s time for Asking Random Kids Not-So-Random Questions … Today’s question is: If you had to write a song about money, what would it sound like?
Money is great, money is kind. Money is good, but you can't know why, because money is what you need to get around town.
Money is very important, but it sometimes is bad.
You can't buy a taxi or car or house. You can't buy candy or piece of a mouse.
I don't care about the money, money, money… raining from the sky.
I like money. Money is money. It is very funny.
That's why you need money. And that's why I'm singing this song. Oh!
KIMBERLY: That was …
Helena in Florida.
Sage in New Hampshire.
Livia and Damian in Illinois
This has been Asking Random Kids Not-So-Random Questions.
RYAN: Welcome back. Today we’re answering Harper’s question about why there are two dollar bills if no one uses them. We’ve inadvertently called the ghost of Alexander Hamilton upon us, turns out he’s had some relevant experiences and now he’s walking us through the history of the two dollar bill. Including some uses for it that sound a bit unsavory.
BRIDGET: Such as…
HAMILTON: (Whispering) Like..election rigging! A rumor got started that some politicians, NOT ME, but SOME politicians, gave out two dollar bills to convince voters to vote for them.
BRIDGET: (Gasp) Isn't that illegal!?
HAMILTON: Absolutely! And it's not just illegal, it's also frowned upon.
RYAN: Isn’t illegal worse?
HAMILTON: Yes, but I hate being frowned upon. Just imagine it!
(SFX DREAMY TIME TRAVEL)
HAMILTON (VO): Thanks to that rumor, people started associating two dollar bills with votes being bought. So if you had one, people might assume some crooked politician bought your vote!
VOTER: I’d like to pay for my mutton and ginger ale with this $2 bill.
WAITER : HEY! Where’d you get this!? Did you…sell your vote?!
VOTER: Oh I umm..
WAITER: HEY EVERYBODY! THIS GUY SOLD HIS VOTE FOR 2 BUCKS!
CROWD: BOOOOOO!!
RANDOM GUY: Should’ve held out for 4!
(SFX DREAMY SFX OUT)
HAMILTON: It was a whole thing. And then there were the superstitions!
BRIDGET: Superstitions?
HAMILTON: Yeah, you know, those little beliefs people have that aren't based on any actual evidence. Like thinking that black cats or broken mirrors are bad luck.
BRIDGET: Or that if a bird poops on you, it’s good luck! That one's true though.
HAMILTON: Sure…Well, back in my day, sometimes people called the two dollar bill a deuce. You know, because deuce means two. But Deuce is also an old timey word for…the devil!
(SFX Lighting strike)
RYAN: Spooky!
HAMILTON: So people started thinking two dollar bills were associated with the devil and, as such, were cursed! To reverse the “curse” they would tear the corner off the bill.
RYAN: Does tearing the corner off things make them uncursed??
HAMILTON: There never was a curse! There’s no explaining people and their superstitions! But what it definitely does do is damage your money. It’s technically illegal to damage legal tender, or money.
RYAN: And probably frowned upon.
BRIDGET: I would frown on that.
HAMILTON: If a bank gets a bill that's torn, they have to send it to the government to be replaced. And that happens a lot with two dollar bills. To this day, you’ll notice lots of two dollar bills are torn in the corners!
BRIDGET: Oh yeah, I see a couple here with torn corners. Whaddya know.
RYAN: OK this is all really interesting, but it still doesn't explain why they replaced your face on the two dollar bill with Thomas Jeffersons.
(SFX: POP)
JEFFERSONS GHOST: You rang?
BRIDGET: The Ghost of Thomas Jefferson! What are you doing here?
JEFFERSON: Oh I thought someone was asking about why my face is on the two dollar bill. I was just hanging out with my buds Washington and Madison but I figured I would pop by and explain.
HAMILTON: Tom, I thought you were “Working on an essay” today and that’s why we couldn’t hang out.
JEFFERSON: Hamilton! (Flustered) oh, um…yeah. I WAS working on an essay. I was just…taking a break. Anyway, the two dollar bill got my handsome mug on it in 1869.
RYAN: But why, Tom? WHY,?
JEFFERSON: (shrugs) Times were different back then. We used to redesign money all the time.
(SFX shuffling through money)
HAMILTON: That was until1966, when the government decided to stop making twos because of (chuckes) “Lack of public demand.” (Under his breath) Never would have happened if MY face was still on it.
JEFFERSON: BUT in 1976, they started making them again! The government wanted to try to save money on printing one dollar bills. They thought if they could just convince people to use twos, they could print fewer one dollar bills.
BRIDGET: And how’d that work out for them?
JEFFERSON: Oh, you know, fine. They’re actually the preferred bill for this guy Steve, you may have heard of him, he founded a little company called “Apple.”
RYAN: Wow, Steve Jobs was a fan of the two dollar bill?
JEFFERSON: Huh? Oh, no, [WITH PRIDE] Steve Wozniak!
RYAN: Oh.
JEFFERSON: They’re still printed today you know. And you can still find them. They’re just uh, not as common as maybe some of the other bills.
HAMILTON:Let’s be specific here, Tom! There are over 14 billion one dollar bills in circulation. And how many twos?
JEFFERSON: MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY
HAMILTON: What was that? I couldn’t quite hear…
JEFFERSON: A little under two billion.
HAMILTON: That’s right. The least used bill from ones to hundreds. The only bills used LESS are bills over five hundred dollars and those aren’t even printed anymore, but they’re still honored if one happens to show up. People just don’t WANT to use a two dollar bill. (under his breath) Probably because it has Jefferson's face on it
JEFFERSON: Anyway, I've gotta get back so if you don’t mind…
HAMILTON: Are you guys still hanging out? I could join, I'm like, totally not busy.
JEFFERSON: Oh, um, I really SHOULD work on that essay. Gotta Go!
(SFX: POP)
HAMILTON: (Sad) Yeah, I should get going too. Unless you two want to hang out?
RYAN: Um, no that’s ok. You’ve given us a lot to think about but we should really start getting ready for Skimbleshank’s party. Thanks for all the helpful info though!
HAMILTON: (Embarrassed) Oh a party? And you didn’t invite me? That’s cool, that’s cool. I’ve actually gotta go too. They’re making another musical about me that I should check on. It's called Hamil-Two. About my short lived time on the two dollar bill. It starts like (sings) “Alexander Hamil-two”-
BRIDGET: (Feeling sad for him): Hey, why don’t you stay for the party? It’s federal reserve themed. Isn't a centralized banking system kind of a passion of yours?
HAMILTON: A federal reserve themed birthday party?! What a dream! Somebody pinch me!
BRIDGET: We can’t, you don’t have a physical body. Anywho, we’ve Bond Burgers and Dodd-Franks, and a soft landing bouncy castle in the back if you want to come back later.
HAMILTON: OOO! Don’t mind if I do!
SFX POP
BRIDGET: Well Ryan, I think we’ve answered Harper’s question! And we haven’t even had a sponsor break yet! We’re getting good at this. Guess we better get back to preparing for the party huh?
[DRAMATIC SCORING]
RYAN: Not so fast, Bridget. Once again, I’ve had a brilliant idea. We might know why there are two dollar bills, and some tales of why people don’t use them, but I think a better question is, can we make two dollar bills happen again?
BRIDGET: What are you talking about?
RYAN: Clearly two dollar bills bring joy to people and even your own grandpabby thought they were worthy of building a collection around. I think we, the podcast hosts of the esteemed and highly influential money podcast for kids, Million Bazillion, could make a real difference in getting the people in this community to come around on $2 bills and finally get them the proper higher circulation they deserve.
BRIDGET: Uh, okay. How do we do that?
RYAN: Well, we do have a few more errands to run for the party so we’re going to stop at the bank and get a bunch of $2 bills and then start using them. And with this staid engraved portrait of Thomas Jefferson as my witness, I will get those bills circulating more widely again!
[MUSIC CRESCENDOS AND POSTS]
[beat]
BRIDGET: Okay, I guess so? When we come back, right after this.
------ MIDROLL BREAK -----
RYAN: And we’re back! Today we're answering Harper’s question about two dollar bills, and basically, why they exist if no one uses them. A great observation, Harper, and really an injustice when you think about it. Not on my watch though.
BRIDGET: We’re next in line at the bank, where we’re going to swap out some of our cash for two dollar bills so we can start spreading these around town.
TELLER: Next in line, please step up to the window!
RYAN: Well hello my good teller. We are here to exchange these humdrum tens and twenties for their financial equivalent in two dollar bills.
TELLER: Uh, you want all this in two dollar bills?
RYAN: Yes, and quickly please, we have a cat party to pull off!
TELLER: Yikes, I don’t even know if we have any two dollar bills in stock here. They’re not that common you know? Let me see if there are any in the back. [OFF MIC, SHOUTING] [FOOTSTEPS] Hey Lenny! I need a key to the vault!
[THIS EXCHANGE HAPPENS AT A DISTANCE, SHOUTING/OFF MIC, BUT BRIDGET AND RYAN CAN CLEARLY HEAR EVERYTHING THAT’S BEING SAID]
LENNY [OFF MIC] Uh, you wanna go all the way down to the vault?
TELLER: Yeah!
LENNY: Why?
TELLER: Some guy wants a whole bunch of two dollar bills!
LENNY: What’s he want all those two dollar bills for? Who uses two dollar bills?
TELLER: That guy over there I guess, the one with the bald spot!
RYAN: It’s a cowlick, sir!
LENNY: Well I’ll see what I can find.
RYAN: Can I take a lollipop while we wait?
TELLER: No.
MUSIC STING - 2 or 3 SECOND, BATMAN STING TO REFLECT PASSAGE OF TIME
RYAN: [A LITTLE RAW] Okay, we made it out of the bank. And I’m more determined than ever to make two dollar bills more common. No one should ever have to stand at the bank counter for a whole 15 minutes waiting for them to dig them out of the vault. They should just be at ATMs, like $20s. We are blazing a trail here! Once we start spreading these two dollar bills around town, the trend will catch on and they’ll finally take their place in the pantheon of often used bills!
BRIDGET: Right to the balloon shop. Okay, let’s do this.
[SFX: SHOP DOOR OPEN, BELL]
BRIDGET: Hi! We’re here to pick up our balloon order. They should be filled with different amounts of helium for a balloon arch that will represent the history of inflation in the United States. Get it? Because they’re inflated at different levels? Ha. It’s for a Federal Reserve themed birthday party for a cat.
BALLOON JERRY: Ah, yeah, what a weird order. Got ‘em right here. That’ll be $26.89.
RYAN: Here you go good sir, we’ll be paying entirely in two dollar bills. I present them to you now, and your customers will delight in receiving these as change.
BALLOON JERRY: Two dollar bills? Haven’t seen these since I was a kid. Hey, Thelma, get out here! Check out these two dollar bills!
THELMA: What?
BALLOON JERRY: It’s a bunch of two dollar bills! Tell you what, Bridget and Ryan, I’m going to tape these up here behind the counter, my grandkids love looking at this stuff. [FONDLY] Two dollar bills. Thanks for the memories, kids, now have a nice party with your weird balloons.
[SFX: BELL, SHOP DOOR CLOSES]
BRIDGET: Well, that was cute.
RYAN: No, that was a catastrophe! How are my bills going to pass from spender to spender if the balloon guy doesn’t give them out as change to the next customer!
BRIDGET: Oh, right, it’s like, because they are rare, people think they’re special when they DO see them so they save them, making the $2 bill all the more rare. This feels like the lost lyric to an Alanis Morissette song. Hey, here’s the bakery.
SFX: DOOR, BELL, GENTLE CHATTER OR RADIO MUSIC, HEAR DOOR OPEN AND CLOSE SOFTLY THROUGHOUT EXCHANGE
DOT: Welcome to Dot’s bakery. I’ll be right with you!
BRIDGET: Maybe you’ll have better luck here.
RYAN: I hope so.
DOT: What can I do for you?
RYAN: We’re picking up. One currency sheet cake for humans, one cat cake, for my cat.
DOT: Oh yes, I have it right here, ready to go. A totally green cake, with GREEN dollar bills piped on top. What a…strange party you must be having. That’ll be $46.87.
RYAN: Here you are ma’am, paid entirely using two dollar bills, like it should be.
DOT: Well, you don’t see those too often. Are you a fan of the Clemson Tigers?
RYAN: You mean the college football team? No! But why do you ask?
DOT: Well, Clemson Tiger fans have a tradition where they spend two dollar bills whenever they travel to see their team play.
RYAN: Oh, well it’s nice to hear about another group of Twoies in the world.
DOT: Oh is that what they call fans of the $2 bill?
RYAN: No, only we do. But we’re trying to get it to catch on. Feel free to use. In fact, please use it. Pleeeease.
[SFX CASH REGISTER]
DOT: Hmm. [PUZZLED] Now wait a minute. Let’s see, now I don’t have a two dollar bill slot in my cash register…
[SFX: CROWD STARTS TO BUILD]
DOT: [TO SELF] Should I put these in with the ones? Or underneath the fives?
CUSTOMER: Hi, I don’t want to rush you, but I’m kind of in a hurry and I need my muffin…
DOT: Oh, one second, I need to figure out where to put these two dollar bills in the register. Don’t want it to mess up the count!
CUSTOMER: Someone’s trying to pay with two dollar bills? Who does that? I want names.
[SFX GRUMBLING LINE]
RYAN: Uh, come on, Bridget, we have uh, a few more stops to make, let’s get out of here.
BRIDGET: Let’s go!
[SFX DOOR, BELL]
RYAN: [FUMING, GRUMBLING] “I don’t have a two dollar slot in the register.” Ugh. Figure it out, lady.
BRIDGET: Alright, we’ve struck out twice, but now we’re at the grocery store, these cashiers deal with people trying to pay all kinds of ways. Even by check.
RYAN: (GASPS) By check?
BRIDGET: Yeah, it’s like the wild west. I’m sure things will go better here.
(SFX: SLIDING DOORS, CARTS)
RYAN: I just don’t get why this is that hard. Why aren’t more people excited to join the Two Crew?
BRIDGET: I know, it’s tough. Some businesses just aren’t used to getting two dollar bills, and they don’t really know what to do with them once they do see them! So it throws things out of whack.
SFX: SOUND OF PUTTING CHIP BAGS IN CART
BRIDGET: Do we still need dip for the Buy The Dip veggie tray?
RYAN: [DEMORALIZED] Probably.
SFX: FADE UP SCANNING NOISE/CHECK OUT REGISTER
RYAN: The thing about two dollar bills is they’re fun! And wacky! And unexpected! And everyone has a cute story about them! But no one wants to use them, I don’t get it!
BRIDGET: Sometimes there’s no accounting for these things!
CASHIER: That’ll be $18.36.
RYAN: Here you are, the entire bill, paid in two dollar bills. (JADED) Go ahead, tell me your two dollar story now.
CASHIER: What are these?
RYAN: A two dollar bill, featuring America’s third president, Thomas Jefferson. You know, kinda weird it’s not Adams, I guess, but there you go.
CASHIER: Uh, I’m gonna need to call my manager.
CASHIER LOUDSPEAKER: Chuck to Checkout lane 5, I think this guy’s trying to use fake money to pay for his chips and dip.
BRIDGET: What?? Are you kidding me??
CASHIER LOUDSPEAKER: And the corners are cut off on some of them. Kinda spooky.
RYAN: I don’t believe this! These are perfectly good legal tender! I got these at the bank!
MANAGER: Sir, ma’am, can you step over here please. Leave your groceries.
RYAN: This is absurd! This is the currency of the United States of America!
MANAGER: Sir, if you keep trying to pay with fake currency, we’re gonna have to put you in supermarket jail.
BRIDGET: That won’t be necessary. We’ll just leave.
MANAGER: Oh you’re not going anywhere. Security!
SECURITY: Ok, what’s the problem here?
RYAN: Hey, hey. Let’s be reasonable here. Why not take a couple two dollar bills and let us go?
SECURITY: Are you trying to bribe a security officer?
MANAGER: That’s illegal!
RYAN: You don’t even believe this is real currency! Make up your mind!
SECURITY: Alright, I’m taking you two to supermarket jail.
WOZ: Excuse me, maybe I can be of help!
SFX: SITCOM CROWD APPLAUSE AT ENTRANCE OF GUEST STAR
MANAGER: Oh it’s that guy, Steve. He’s also always trying to pay for his groceries with this fake money! Is this some sort of counterfeiting ring?
WOZ: No, twos are real money! They are legal tender! They can be used any place that accepts American currency! Trust me, my name is Steve and I co-founded Apple!
MANAGER: Nice try but you’re definitely not Steve Jobs!
WOZ: No, I’m Steve WOZNIAK! A card carrying member of the Double Club! That’s a club for people who love two dollar bills. I’ve heard all about what you’ve been doing around town, Bridget and Ryan- trying to make the two dollar bill more popular and all. And I think it’s really cool.
BRIDGET/RYAN: (BASHFUL, OVERLAPPING) Oh, thanks. / High praise coming from you, sir. / We’re a fan of your computer stuff too.
SECURITY: Okay, sorry about the mixup everyone. You two are free to go.
BRIDGET: Do we still get to buy the dip?
(SFX: STING)
RYAN: Let’s take a quick break to hear some of your two dollar bill stories!
MINI SEG - One time I lost my tooth, put it under my pillow, and the next morning, I had a $2 bill from the tooth fairy.
I have around 15 $2 bills that I'm keeping in a safety deposit box until I'm old.
We receive a $2 bill every single Lunar New Year from my grandparents.
My aunt Debbie has been giving me $2 bills every year on my birthday
The $2 bill is given every lunar new year because the two symbolizes luck. It brings good fortune for the new year
I'll see what they're worth in 60 years
I'm gonna collect them until I'm 100 and see how much they're worth.
RYAN: That was Aiden, Asher, Lydia, John and Calder! Thanks for sharing! If you have a money story or question for us, send them to us at our website, marketplace dot org slash million.
SFX: STING
Part 3:
SFX: PARTY AMBI HAS STARTED, JOYFUL MUSIC, CROWD, CATS MEOWING
RYAN: [GLUM] We’re back everyone. Skimbleshanks’s party is a huge hit. We invited all of Skimbleshank’s cat friends and a bunch of the people we met today. But I? I am a failure. At every turn, I failed to convince anyone to start using two dollar bills with more regularity.
BRIDGET: Oh come on, Ryan. You’re being too hard on yourself. Everyone’s having a great time at the party. Think of your Two Crew efforts from today as a great first step.
RYAN: [GLUM] I guess so.
BALLOON JERRY: Hey, Ryan! Thanks for the invite to the party.
RYAN: Oh, you’re welcome, Ballon Jerry.
BALLOON JERRY: And you wouldn’t believe it, my grandkids loved your two dollar bills so much, they want to use them to give change at their next lemonade stand. Isn’t that right, Thelma?
THELMA: [IN THE DISTANCE] What?
RYAN: Oh wow, that’s so cool.
DOT: [FROM DISTANCE] Come on, everyone! It’s time to play Fed Musical Chairs!
HAMILTON: I’ll play DJ!
BRIDGET: Get it, Hamilton!
SFX: MALADJUSTED MOOGIE OR SIMILAR
WOZ: Winner gets this two dollar gift certificate to Foodland!
SFX: DOORBELL RING
SFX: FOOTSTEPS TO DOOR
PARTY AMBI FADES
BRIDGET: Oh, I need to answer that, I bet that’s the pizza.Hey, Ryan, do you have any more two dollar bills left? Want to pay for the pizza?
RYAN: I’ve got ‘em right here.
SFX: DOOR OPEN
PIZZA DELIVERER: Pizza for Ryan and Bridget?
RYAN: That’s us, can I pay you in two dollar bills?
PIZZA DELIVERER: Two dollar bills? Right on, man.
RYAN: Finally! We’ve been trying to get someone to accept two dollar bills all day.
PIZZA DELIVERER: Acceptance is a journey. We all do it in our own time, man.
RYAN: Wow. That’s wise. I think that’s wise.
BRIDGET: Okay, let’s see here, two, four, six…Uh, Ryan, what’d we learn today?
FADE UNDER, BRIDGET: COUNTING BY TWOS
EXPLAINER MUSIC (PARTY MUSIC OUT)
RYAN: [DELIGHTED] We learned that $2 bills have a long, and colorful past. They used to have Hamilton on them, but now they have Thomas Jefferson on them. They’ve had a totally unfair association with bad vibes and bad behavior. They’re the bill people love to not use. And because people don’t often see them, when they DO get one, they tend to hang on to them like they’re some sort of special collector’s item. Which then takes it out of circulation and really does make $2 bills rarer, even though they’re still absolutely real legal money and Foodland Groceries better not hassle me about two dollar bills ever again.
BRIDGET: 60, 62, 64, 66. (SIGHS) Boy, counting in money in twos is a bit odd I’ve gotta say.
PIZZA DELIVERER: Y’know what? You can keep it. Money is just human happiness in the abstract. Later, man.
BRIDGET: Ok, bye. Truly, no one will take these bills.
(SFX Cat meowing)
RYAN: Oh look, Skimbleshanks is awake from his nap! Come on Skimbleshanks, take a look at your new party pinata! I made it out of… $2 dollar bills!
(SFX: CROWD CLAPS AND “AWWWS”)
(SFX pulls out the piñata)
SFX: CAT YEOWLS AND RUCKUS
RYAN: No, Skimbleshanks! Stop clawing! This pinata is to be torn apart in an orderly fashion! As a fun activity with your other cat friends!
BRIDGET: Oh no, he clawed off the corner of the pinata!
RYAN: Skimbleshanks! Not the corner! That’s—- ohhhhhhhhh!
CREDITS
RYAN That’s all for this episode of Million Bazillion! Hoped you learned a whole lot about two dollar bills!
BRIDGET: If you STILL have questions, or an idea for an episode, send them to us at Marketplace dot org slash million And while you’re there, sign up for our newsletter to get our tipsheet and conversation starters for this episode.
RYAN: Speaking of which, we had help from the experts for THIS episode, including: Dr. Joshua R. Greenberg and Steven Roach
BRIDGET: Million Bazillion is produced by Marketplace from American Public Media and hosted by Ryan Perez and me, Bridget Bodnar. Jasmine Romero wrote this episode. Our senior producer is Marissa Cabrera with additional producing from Flora Warshaw.
RYAN: Special thanks to the folks who lent their voices to this episode: Sabri Ben Achour, Emma Condon, Brendan Dalton, Jesson Duller, Alex Simpson, Flora Warshaw and Alice Wilder.
BRIDGET: It was sound designed by Sam Bair.
And mixed by Derek Ramirez.
Our theme music was created by Wonderly.
RYAN: Bridget Bodnar is the Director of Podcasts at Marketplace.
Joanne Griffith is the Chief Content Officer
Neal Scarbrough is the VP and General Manager.
BRIDGET: Million Bazillion is funded in part by the Sy Syms Foundation, partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985. And special thanks to The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance for providing the start-up funding for this podcast, and continuing to support Marketplace in our work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy.
RYAN: If Million Bazillion is helping your family have important conversations about money, consider making a one-time donation today at marketplace-dot-org-slash-givemillion, and thanks for your support.
The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance, supports Marketplace’s work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy. Next Gen Personal Finance is a non-profit that believes all students benefit from having a financial education before they cross the stage at high school graduation.
The Sy Syms Foundation: Partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985.
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