Bridget and Ryan get a question from listener Deji - who wants to know, how much debt is too much debt? Before they can answer, the pair run into Ghost Pirate Blackbeard, who has the same question! Together, they learn more about debt, and what everyone, even a ghost pirate, needs to know before borrowing money.
After you listen to the episode, here are some questions and conversation starters you can use with your kid listener to see how much they learned.
What are some reasons people take on debt?
What’s a reason going into debt would be worth it to you?
Why does the interest rate matter when it comes to borrowing money?
Discuss with your child about a time you took out a loan, and what it was for.
*Bonus* Not-So-Random Question: How do you decide if something is worth buying?
For listeners who want to keep learning more, we’ve got ideas!
For a refresher on credit card debt, listen to this episode from “Million Bazillion” on how credit cards work (and our first meeting with Ghost Pirate Blackbeard!)
One of the reasons people go into debt is to pay for college - check out this “Million Bazillion” episode about how people pay for college.
Here are some tips from Nevada State Bank to help kids avoid debt in their future.
For our younger listeners, check out this game from Biz Kids about building your savings and managing debt.
Thanks for listening to this episode! If your child has more questions about debt, borrowing, spending or using money, we want to hear them! Send them to us using this online form.
Note: Marketplace podcasts are meant to be heard, with emphasis, tone and audio elements a transcript can’t capture. Scripts may contain errors. Please check the corresponding audio before quoting it
(SFX: BEACH SOUNDS)
BRIDGET: Ahhh, nothing like a day away from the office, spent at the beach! I have my sun screen, my sun hat, my sun sweater, my sun gloves-
RYAN: I’m gonna kick off my flip flops!--- Ah! Hot sand! Hot sand!- and do my all-time favorite beach activity!
BRIDGET: Swimming? Surfing? Shirtless volleyball with hotshot fighter jet pilots?
RYAN: No, digging a hole! (GRUNTS)
(SFX: SAND SHOVELED OUT OF A HOLE)
BRIDGET: Wow, Ryan, you’re digging that hole fast!
RYAN: Bridget, I’ve been digging holes since I was 7. I’m practically an expert.
(SFX: MORE SAND SHOVELING AND GRUNTING)
BRIDGET: You’re in there digging that hole pretty deep… You sure you’re not in too deep?
RYAN: (DIGGING) Nope! All good. I’m gonna go even deeper!
BRIDGET: So why do you like digging holes, anyway?
RYAN: I don’t know. Much like a dog, I find a sort of a calming effect to it…. And, uh, yeah… Ok wait a minute. This might be too deep. Not sure how to get out. Let me try, digging my way out. (GRUNTS)
BRIDGET: It looks like you’re just digging yourself deeper. Here, grab my hand.
RYAN: No, don’t get close to the edge. If you fall in, then we’ll both be stuck inside this hole.
(SFX: MORE SAND SHOVELING AND GRUNTING)
BRIDGET: Are you sure you know what you’re doing?
RYAN: (ECHOEY) Yes! The only way out is through!
–Theme Music–
BRIDGET: Welcome to Million Bazillion. I’m Bridget.
RYAN: (ECHOEY, GRUNTING) And I’m Ryan! And We Help Dollars Make More Sense.
BRIDGET: While Ryan attempts to somehow dig his way upward, let’s take a minute and listen to today’s question.
DEJI: “Hello, my name is Deji from Cypress, Texas. I want to know how much debt is too much debt.”
BRIDGET: Oooh, how much debt is TOO much debt. This is an EXCELLENT question.
(MUSIC: EXPLAINER MUSIC)
BRIDGET: Debt, in this case, is an amount of money you owe. You can owe a debt to a person or to like a bank or credit card company. Lots of people in this country owe money to someone. If they took out a loan to pay for college or a car or a house. Whenever they buy something with a credit card, that’s owing a debt until it’s paid back. And Deji [DEE-jee] asked an intriguing question- how much debt is too much debt? It’s a little like digging a hole. Sometimes you don’t know you’re in too deep until you can’t get out.
(MUSIC: END EXPLAINER MUSIC)
(SFX: BRING BACK UP DIGGING SOUND)
RYAN: (ECHOEY) Bridget. I can’t get out. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m a grown man stuck in a hole.
BRIDGET: It’s ok. I’m gonna call over the lifeguard.
RYAN: Lifeguards don’t do sand emergencies? They only do water emergencies.
BRIDGET: I think they do beach emergencies in general.
RYAN: Ok, go get help, but please be discreet. I can’t be embarrassed yet again in front of the town surfer bros.
SURFER #1: (IN THE DISTANCE) Hey, dude. Is that dude stuck in a hole?
SURFER #2: Sorta looks like it, dude. Dude, that’s a gnarly deep hole.
RYAN: Oh no, are the surfer dudes talking about me?
BRIDGET: (UNCONVINCING LIE) No, I think about someone else stuck in a hole. Ok, we’re gonna get Ryan out of this and figure out how much debt is too much debt… when we come back.
–ARK–
ARK music
KIMBERLY: And now … it’s time for Asking Random Kids Not-So-Random Questions … Today’s question is: How do you decide if something is worth buying?
KID MONTAGE:
If you say that you maybe would like it, then that's probably a no.
If you really, really want it or if you really, really need it.
How many people rate it like five stars or four stars? It's a lot of ratings.
If it's too much, then I won’t get it. And if I don't have money, I can't buy it.
Well, what my mom always said was think about it and then in a couple of days, if you still want it, then it's worthy of being gotten.
KIMBERLY: That was …
● Cecelia in Colorado
● Hudson in California
● William in Maryland
● Connor in California
● Stella in California
This has been Asking Random Kids Not-So-Random Questions.
Part 1:
BRIDGET: Welcome back to Million Bazillion. On today’s episode, we’re at the beach, answering Deji’s [DEE-jee] question: How much debt is too much debt?. And don’t worry, Ryan made it out of the hole he dug in the sand with the help of a lifeguard.
RYAN: I wanna thank Lifeguard Louise for her swift reaction, throwing down the rope to rescue me- and also clarify, that I dug that hole too deep… on purpose! To illustrate how sometimes it’s ok to have a little financial debt, but you don’t want to get in too deep.
BRIDGET: Ryan, that was actually kind of brilliant of you. When people get into TOO much debt, they use words like, “I’m in a hole, I’m buried under a mountain of debt, I’m in over my head, I’m drowning in debt, I’m pulled under by debt.
RYAN: Right, exactly. So, you see it was a lesson… for our podcast.
SURFER #1: Shyeah, right!
SURFER #2: Whatever, dude!
RYAN: (WHISPER) Do you think the surfer bros bought it?
BRIDGET: Uh, sure. So back to debt. I was thinking- to answer this question about debt, we could cut our beach trip short, go to the library and read from the thickest book they have on the role that credit plays in building a financially complex capitalism based community –-
(SFX: BOAT EMERGING ONTO SHORE)
(MUSIC: ADVENTUROUS “PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN”- TYPE SCORE)
BRIDGET: Ahhh, what’s that ship coming to shore?
PIRATES: (DISTANT) Land ho! / Argh matey! / Yo ho! Yo ho!
RYAN: It looks like a pirate ship?
BRIDGET: That’s not just any pirate ship! That’s the Ghost of Blackbeard’s pirate ship! We met him and his marauding gang of buccaneers years ago, back on our credit card episode!
RYAN: Season 3, episode 1! A true blast from the past!
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Ahoy! Bridget and Ryan! Tis I, Ghost Blackbeard, I’ve returned to ye, as promised!
BRIDGET: You didn’t promise to return.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Eh, either way, I was listening to your podcast on the high seas and heard you’re gonna answer a question about debt and sailed directly here! Turns out, I’m in a bit of a debt conundrum! May I invite ye to come aboard and teach us what you know about debt!
BRIDGET: Oh, well we’d love to help but the library calls so–
RYAN: [QUICKLY] We’d love to, not that I don’t want to go to a library on our Beach Day, is this gangplank how I get up or is there a rope you want to hoist us up on?
BRIDGET: [ACQUIESCENT] Okay, let’s do it.
(MUSIC: TRANSITIONAL STING
(SFX: SOUNDS OF BEING AT SEA, PIRATES AT WORK)
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Welcome aboard my vessel, Seas the Day. Seas spelled “S-E-A-S.” Get it? Here, I captain the hardest workin’ crew in all of piracy!
BRIDGET: Smells about like I expected- like fish and sweat.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: So let me cut to the chase here, I know you’re both busy. You see I’ve got a dilemma. One that would require me to go into some debt. I subscribe to this catalog that shows off a lot of the newest go-fast boats with turbo engines and cool stuff like that….
BRIDGET: Wait, are they really called “go-fast boats”?
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Yeah, I know it sounds made-up, but they’re really called Go-Fast boats.
BRIDGET: Uh huh. So where’s this going?
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Well, I really want to buy this very specific Go-Fast boat. It’s got, like a fast engine and flames on the side, and I really really want it. But the thing is, I don’t have quite all the money I’d need to buy one. So I’m thinking of borrowing the money, which means going into some debt. Okay a lot of debt. But I don’t want to get in over my head.. I learned a thing or two from the credit card episode, Season 3, episode 1.
BRIDGET: Well, Blackbeard, when it comes to taking on debt, you gotta think about, can I pay this debt back? Is there a really good reason to take on this debt, based on my values and goals for my future?
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Not, um, exactly–
BRIDGET: Maybe to take advantage of life changing opportunities? Like starting a business or buying a house or getting an education.
PEPE THE PARROT: Squawk! Getting an education? I can tell you all about that!
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Ah, allow me to introduce you to Pepe. He’s my parrot.
PEPE THE PARROT: That’s right. I’ve always been able to talk a little, but wanted to develop my verbal skills, not merely repeat the monosyllabic drivel uttered by humans. So I went to parrot college, majoring in Speech. Squawk! But I couldn’t afford it all on my own so I needed to borrow money to pay for it all!
BRIDGET: How much did your education cost?
PEPE THE PARROT: Squawk! $10,000 dubloons, which I didn’t have at the time, so I took out a student loan, which accrues interest, Squawk! But I was able to find a pretty good rate.
BRIDGET: Oh, this is important. When you borrow money, you will have to pay it all back, but you’ll usually also have to pay something else. Interest. It’s an extra amount you’re be charged until you pay all the money you borrowed back.
RYAN: Charged? Whoa whoa whoa, I thought the bank pays ME the interest?
BRIDGET: That’s when you’re SAVING money, like, in a savings account, as explained in season 7, episode one. In that case, the higher the interest rate, the better. But if you’re the one doing the borrowing, you’re on the hook for paying the interest, and you want that number to be as low as possible.
PEPE THE PARROT: I know that! Squawk!
BRIDGET: Right and when it comes to taking on debt, you have to remember that you have to pay back all the money you borrowed, PLUS extra. It all adds up.
PEPE THE PARROT: Squawk, and so I did! Because of my degree, I was able to pay back the entire loan of $10,000 dubloons plus the interest, in ten years working as a therapist and life coach.
RYAN:: A life coach…To other parrots?
PEPE THE PARROT: No, to humans. (WHISPERS) Pirates aren’t the brightest bunch in the world. Squawk!
RYAN: Well, then I guess Pepe the Parrot’s debt is an example of taking on debt to reach a goal, but making sure it wasn’t so much that he couldn’t pay it back later. Good for you, Pepe!
PEPE THE PARROT: Squawk!
GHOST BLACKBEARD: See, it’s possible to go into a lot of debt and it’s totally fine!
SHANTY SADIE: Arrgh! What about my debt story?!
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Oh, Shanty Sadie, I didn’t see you there, don’t you have some ropes that need coiling?
SHANTY SADIE: I heard you all having a chin-wag up here and I’ve come to participate. Settle in kids. Some years ago, I bought a shanty in the Caribbean to settle down in.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Avast, Shanty Sadie! No one wants to hear your about your condo.
SHANTY SADIE: It’s not a condo! It’s a shanty!
GHOST BLACKBEARD: It has like one sea thing in it: a ship in a bottle. So what? Every dentist office has one of those.
BRIDGET: Wait, I want to hear more about this condo- I mean, shanty. Sadie, go on.
SHANTY SADIE: A few years back, I was thinking about getting a place to retire on land once my piracy career was over. The house cost an arm and a peg, but it was such a cool house, I had to have it! And so I may have borrowed a wee bit more than I should have. It was the beginning of a turbulent time for ole’ Shanty Sadie!
(MUSIC: TURBULENT ADVENTURE MUSIC)
(SFX: STORMY SEAS)
SHANTY SADIE: Wave after wave of bills pounded ashore, never-ending! Most of the gold I pirated ended up going into shanty payments! Even worse, I had to go into debt to afford the basics, like food…and clothes…and eye patches!
(TURBULENT SFX AND MUSIC SUBSIDES)
SHANTY SADIE: In the end, I had to give up the shanty and work on paying off all the new debt I took on when I was trying to stay afloat on my shanty payments. Only recently have I been able to put aside a little extra money for savings again.
RYAN: Ooh, that’s tough, it sounds like you couldn’t quite afford the condo-I mean shanty, to begin with, and then the debt became overwhelming and you couldn’t afford food and uh, eye patches.
BRIDGET: It’s true that some people do have to go into debt to survive sometimes. But that’s a short term fix, and in the long run, can be a challenging situation to get yourself out of.
PEPE THE PARROT: SQUAWK, because the interest you’ll have to pay on the debt just keeps growing!
BRIDGET: That’s right!
BLACKBEARD: Okay yeah yeah, those were some terrible years for Shanty Sadie but what I’m taking away from all of this is is I’m probably gonna be fine taking on a bunch of debt for my Go-Fast boat?
BRIDGET: I did not say that.
Honestly, I don’t love this for you. You seem to be doing fine with the boat you have. I dunno why you’d want to complicate things with a go-fast boat beyond your means.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: But you said some debt can be good! How do I know if the debt I’m taking on is the good or bad kind?
BRIDGET: Well, to be clear, debt isn’t good or bad. It’s about whether you’ve taken on more than you can afford to pay back. Or if you owe so much, you can’t take advantage of cool opportunities in the future. Because you’re still stuck paying off that debt and extra interest.
RYAN: Yeah, if I’ve learned anything in my time as co-host of this award winning podcast about money, it’s that you definitely don’t want to take on TOO much debt. That would be bad.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: And how do I know I’m in bad debt?
BRIDGET: (SIGH OF EXASPERATION)
PEPE THE PARROT: If you’re getting into debt on impulsive purchases to “keep up with the Davey Joneses”, you might be in bad debt. If your debt balance doesn’t go down despite regular payments, you might be in bad debt. If you’re living paycheck to paycheck, with no money to contribute to retirement or your emergency fund at the end of the month because you’re paying off what you owe, you might be in bad debt.
RYAN: (AS JEFF FOXWORTHY) If your working TV sits on top of your broken TV, you might be in bad debt!
PEPE THE PARROT: Huh?
RYAN: Sorry, I thought we were doing a thing. Please go on.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Avast, all of ye! I want this boat! And I’m going to borrow the money to pay for it, I’ve decided!! I put the word out in hundreds of messages in bottles, spread across the seas: “Respected pirate looking to borrow some money, willing to pay interest.” It’s only a matter of time before someone wants to loan me the cash!
(SFX: BOTTLE SPLASHING INTO WATER)
(SFX: TENSE PIRATE MUSIC)
(SFX: THRASHING WATER)
BRIDGET: No, Blackbeard!
RYAN: Bridget, what’s that I see over the horizon? Are those ships?
BRIDGET: Oh no, it looks like it’s all people who got Blackbeard’s bottles…rushing to lend him money! I got a bad feeling about this…
-MIDROLL (CREDIT BREAK)-
Part 2:
(MUSIC: PIRATE ADVENTURE MUSIC)
(SFX: SAILING SOUNDS)
RYAN: Welcome back to Million Bazillion. Today, we’re answering Deji’s question, how much debt is too much debt? Turns out the ghost of the pirate Blackbeard had the same question. So we’re trying to help him figure out how much debt to take on to buy a go-fast boat, and now we’re surrounded by people offering to loan him money, and we’re telling him to be careful about all this but we’re not sure if the message is quite getting through to him because - ahhh, it’s too much to explain! If you can’t follow the plot, go back and listen to the first half again!
(SFX: VARIOUS BOAT WHISTLES AND BELLS)
BRIDGET: Yeah I see some, regular boring banks, a couple of payday lenders, some high interest credit cards…oh, and then the sirens, of course.
(MUSIC: ANGELIC HARP AND CHORAL)
SIRENS: (SINGING) Do not worry, Blackbeard, We’ll loan you the money right now! Just come and get it!
BLACKBEARD: That’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. An angelic siren offering me money!
BRIDGET: Not so fast, Blackbeard. Sirens are known for not being what they seem…I smell something fishy here.
SHANTY SADIE: (SNIFFS) Sorry, that’s probably me.
SIRENS: We can promise you cold, hard cash today for your go-fast boat. As long as you agree to a 40% interest rate.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: You’re willing to hand me a bunch of money right now and I didn’t even have to pirate it? Sounds pretty sweet to me!
BRIDGET: Blackbeard, a 40% interest rate is really high. Remember, If you don’t pay off your debt right away and you have a high interest rate, you could find yourself at the bottom of a deep hole of debt, real fast because all that interest adds up!
GHOST BLACKBEARD: A hole you say? I heard from some surfers back at the beach that Ryan knows a thing or two about getting stuck at the bottom of a deep hole.
RYAN: [ OFF MIC, AFFRONTED] Hey!
(MUSIC: BUILD UP AN INCREASING PRESSURE FROM THIS POINT)
BANKER: Ahoy-hoy! We’re your local community bank! We’re happy to look over your financial situation, including if you already owe any debt. And then over a period of several weeks we’ll determine if you’re a good candidate for a loan! For a reasonable amount of money that you can definitely pay back!
BRIDGET: [SHOUTING] How’s your interest rate?
BANKER: Fair and competitive!
BRIDGET: Blackbeard, I’m thinking the bank sailors are maybe a better way to go?
SIRENS: Don’t listen to her, Blackbeard. Truth is, you’re not a great candidate for a loan. Once that bank looks at your financial history, they’ll make you walk the plank. People don’t lend money to pirates with a bad history of paying others back. You’re a subprime borrower with a low FICO score.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: I don’t know what that means, but it sounds like an insult.
SIRENS: It means you’re a risky bet, no one’s really sure if you’re gonna pay them back. But hey, we like you, so how about it? You’re not gonna find a better offer!
BRIDGET: What are your terms even?I want to see them in writing!
SIRENS: Pshhh, look, here’s the money right here, you can sail away right now with your money.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: I dunno. I really want to start sailing around in my Go-Fast boat. Let’s just do it!
BRIDGET: Blackbeard, no! I’m putting my foot down.
(CUT MUSIC)
GHOST BLACKBEARD: (WHINY) But Bridget, I really want the money!
BRIDGET: No, Blackbeard! Look at me, look at me. I’m the Captain now.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: (INTIMIDATED) Ok.
BRIDGET: (TO THE SIRENS) You sea sirens should all be ashamed of yourselves. You’re the real pirates! It’s like you WANT Blackbeard to take on more debt than he can handle! You’re probably offering predatory loans!
RYAN: Predatory loans? You mean “predatory” like lions and tiger and bears-
PEPE THE PARROT: Oh my!
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Wait! What are predatory loans?
BRIDGET: Predatory loans take advantage of borrowers who need money fast and can’t get it from other places. It’s when the lender lies to the borrower about the terms of the agreement, like maybe there are hidden fees or the interest rate can go up higher than you thought. It means it’s easy to get trapped in a loan you can’t afford. And then next they’re repossessing your collateral.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Ahh, yes, repossessing collateral…. Which is what?
RYAN: It’s kind of like security for your loan. Something the lender can take if you don’t pay back the loan. Collateral can be a house or a car. Poof, just like that, repossessed. I had it happen to me once with teeth veneers.
BRIDGET: Someone took away your veneers?
RYAN: Yes. It hurt!
BRIDGET: The point is, a predatory loan comes with terrible terms that the borrowers will never pay back in full, trapping them in debt forever.
SHANTY SADIE: Ugh, I’m a pirate and even I think that’s despicable.
PEPE: Have these predatory lenders have no sense of decency? SQUAWK
GHOSTS BLACKBEARD: I dunno. I kinda wanna… go for it!
SIRENS: Yes, just jump in the water. It’s nice and shallow. Jump in and swim to us, and the money will be yours.
BRIDGET: No, Blackbeard! Don’t do it! After everything we’ve learned about debt, I feel very sure you’re going to end up in too much of it!
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Sorry! I just gotta do it!
(SFX: SPLASHING IN WATER, BLACKBEARD DOGGY PADDLE IN WATER)
SIRENS: Yay! Here you go! A chest of jewels for you to realize your speedboat dreams.
GHOSTS BLACKBEARD: Awesome! ….Just gonna swim back to my ship now, carrying this very heavy chest of jewels… (PADDLING) Huh, this chest is pretty bulky. Kinda hard to swim with it.
SIRENS: Wait, there’s more! Just swim out a bit further and we’ll adorn you with this necklace of the finest gold.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Okay, let me turn around again…I’ll be right there! (HUFFING AND PUFFING AND SWIMMING) I’m running out of steam here. [SOME SORT OF SOUND EFFECT/OR WITH TRACKING SO IT SOUNDS LIKE HE’S SINKING DEEPER IN THE WATER]
BRIDGET: That debt you took on to pay for your go fast boat is more than you can handle!
PEPE: Sqwuak! You’re getting in over your head!
SHANTY SADIE: You’re gonna be pulled under!
RYAN: Wait, I’ve heard those phrases before..
GHOST BLACKBEARD: I don’t know if I can handle any more. BLUBB BLUBB They’re too heavy! I’m gonna sink!
SIRENS: Too bad. This is what you asked for. (MENACING) For you see, we’re not really beautiful sea sirens…
(SFX: ZIPPER SOUND)
(MUSIC: JAWS-LIKE)
(SFX: WATER SPLASHING)
RYAN: Ahhh! It turns out this whole time those sirens were actually… sharks?
BRIDGET: And not just any sharks! Those are loan sharks!
LOAN SHARK: (MENACING) Haha! We tricked you, Blackbeard! You’re going to be in debt to us… forever. And ever!
(SFX: CHOMP SOUND)
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Ahh! Save me! I don’t want the money! I just want to be out of this water with nothing weighing me down!
SHANTY SADIE: Quick, throw the rescue line out!
PEPE: Squak! The line’s not long enough! And Blackbeard’s too far from the boat!
BRIDGET: Oh no! Is Blackbeard gonna drown under the weight of his debt?
(MUSIC: TRIUMPHANT RESCUE MUSIC)
(SFX: SPLASH OF LARGE THING EMERGING FROM THE SEA)
RYAN: Woooow! What’s that coming out of the sea?!?
BRIDGET: It’s FICO, the Sea Goddess of Financial Responsibility! Here to save the day again!
FICO: (GOD-LIKE) TIs I, Fico. All travelers of the sea must obey me. Loan sharks, be gone! And return no more to these waters.
FICO: Blackbeard, return your riches to the loan sharks and borrow irresponsibly no more.
(SFX: CLANKING JEWELS BEING HANDED OVER)
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Of course, of course. Here are your jewels back! Just let me get back on my boat.
FICO: I hope you’re learned your lesson.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: I certainly did.
FICO: Ok… what was the lesson?
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Uhhhh…
FICO: (SIGHS) The lesson is that being in debt is a little like swimming. It’s ok to swim for a short time in shallow water, but dangerous to do for a very long time in deep water. If you’re going to get into debt, it should be because you’re trying to get somewhere. And you should have a plan for how to get out of it.
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Yes. That’s the lesson I was thinking.
FICO: Ok, I’m gonna go now. And this is the last time I’m bailing you out, so really. I never do this for landlubbers who get into debt, they just have to figure out a repayment plan. So stop screwing up.
(MUSIC: TRIUMPHANT MUSIC SWELLS)
(SFX: LARGE THING SPLASHING BACK INTO THE WATER)
BRIDGET/RYAN: Bye Fico! / Thanks again! / See you soon! / I mean, not soon. / This won’t happen again.
- MINI SEGMENT-
Part 3:
(SFX: SAILING AT CALM SEA)
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Land ho! Drop anchor.
(SFX: ANCHOR SPLASH)
GHOST BLACKBEARD: Ok, Bridget and Ryan. Here ye are, back at the beach I took you from. You’re free to go now and thanks for teaching me about how to know if I’m about to take on too much debt. I’m gonna look into a loan with a nice low interest rate and reasonable payment plan to finance my go-fast boat.
RYAN: I still can’t believe they’re actually called go-fast boats. WHOAAAA.
BRIDGET: Oh my gosh, Ryan!
(SFX: THUD)
RYAN: I have fallen back into the hole I dug at the beginning of this episode! But I am okay! Please, continue, I can participate from down here! What did we learn from all this?
(MUSIC: EXPLAINER MUSIC)
BRIDGET: Well, we learned…Debt is money that you owe. A lot of grown ups owe money for something. For instance, most people can’t buy a car or a house or pay for a college education without getting into some debt. You can imagine how having a car to drive to a job for example, can be a good thing. But the most important thing to remember when taking on debt is to ask yourself…can I pay this back?
RYAN: [SHOUTING] That’s right! Or is taking on this debt going to drag me down? To the bottom of a hole? From which I can’t get out? These are important questions to ask! Because if the answer is, I can’t pay this back, and the debt is stopping me from doing other things I love, like being a guy who isn’t in a hole, then you might be in too much debt! And if you do find yourself at the bottom of a hole, whether it’s one you dug on Beach Day, or a hole of debt…you’re gonna have to figure a way out.
SHANTY SADIE: Yeah, when it comes to debt, it’s like the old pirate sea shanty we sing…
(SFX: PITCH PIPE BLOW)
SHANTY SADIE: (SING) There comes a time when every pirate says, and I quote:
"Our ship is torn in shambles. We need a bigger boat.”
Before you dare to borrow
Take heed to skirt the sorrow of a life
in the sea of debt
SHANTY SADIE: When purchasing a shanty
the stakes ain't penny ante
You gotta have a plan for things you buy
Before you take a loan out
And your pocketbook is blown out
Make sure your interest rate is not too high
PEPE: For school matriculation
Or expensive medication
Owing money’s just common fact of life
But for expenses of frivolity
Even speedboats of top quality
Owing money's an unnecessary strife
BLACKBEARD: I have my friends to thank
For I won’t need to walk a plank
Into waters too deep I can’t stay afloat
If I’m to borrow money
I’ll keep my prospects sunny
And buy a more reasonably-priced boat
CHORUS (EVERYONE): Now there's no rule in the book
That says you can't be on the hook
To swim the sea, your feet got to get wet,
But before you dare to borrow
Take heed to skirt the sorrow
of a life in the sea of debt
BRIDGET: Wait a minute, you guys had a shanty ready for this topic the whole time?
RYAN: You could’ve sung that at the beginning and we wouldn’t have had to do any of the other stuff.
PEPE: We were saving it for the end! Squawk!
–Theme Music-
RYAN: Alright, that’s it for *this episode of Million Bazillion! Thanks for listening! If you’ve got a money question you want us to answer, or an idea for an episode, send it to us at our website! That’s Marketplace dot org slash million!
BRIDGET: And did you know we create really helpful tipsheets for each episode? They’re great, they’ve got conversation starters, and more info about the day’s topic for listeners who want to keep learning. We send them as a newsletter on release day,sign up at marketplace dot org slash million!
RYAN: Million Bazillion is brought to you by Marketplace, from American Public Media. This episode was written and hosted by me, Ryan Perez and Bridget Bodnar.
BRIDGET: Million Bazillion’s editor is Jasmine Romero. Our producers are Courtney Bergsieker, Minju Park and Zoha Malik. Marissa Cabrera is our senior producer.
RYAN: You heard some very special performances from: Sabri Ben Achour, Brendan Dalton, Jesson Duller, Kameshia Duncan, Jayk Cherry, Jenny Jurek, Carly Layne Shaver, and Andrew Shaver.
BRIDGET: Brendan Dalton also sound designed this episode.
Bekah Wineman did the mixing.
Our theme music was created by Wonderly.
The debt sea shanty was arranged and recorded by Carly Layne Shaver and Andrew Shaver.
RYAN: Bridget Bodnar is the Director of Podcasts at Marketplace.
Francesca Levy is the Executive Director of Digital.
Neal Scarbrough is the VP and General Manager.
BRIDGET: Million Bazillion is funded in part by the Sy Syms Foundation, partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985. And special thanks to The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance for providing the start-up funding for this podcast, and continuing to support Marketplace in our work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy.
RYAN: If Million Bazillion is helping your family have important conversations about money, consider making a one-time donation today at marketplace-dot-org-slash-givemillion, and thanks for your support.
The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance, supports Marketplace’s work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy. Next Gen Personal Finance is a non-profit that believes all students benefit from having a financial education before they cross the stage at high school graduation.
The Sy Syms Foundation: Partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985.
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