Upsies, downsies, side-to-sidesies. Corkscrews, and of course, loop-de-loops.
The economy is like a rollercoaster. From the familiar click-click-click on the way up, to the screaming on the way down. But who is running this rollercoaster? And why have we been stuck on the screaming on the way down part for such a long time?
Andrea Grisholm is professor of economics at Ladley University. "Well because we're in a process of massive deleveraging where people cannot borrow because banks have decided that it's too risky to lend to consumers because of the risk that they might default and because we can't borrow, we can't spend."
She agrees, the economy is like a rollercoaster.
"Well, in the short term, the economy has not been a rollercoaster."
The economist agreed. It's like we're all on a scary rollercoaster with a steep drop into a dark tunnel. And no one knows who is pulling levers and spinning dials. Some say it's the 1 percent. Others blame the government.
The Space Hawk is an old rickety wooden rollercoaster that audibly creaks as a cart passes overhead. I talk to Doug, one of the people standing in line, about his thoughts about the economy.
"I personally think the banks are partially responsible because they gave out too much credit for years while betting against those high-risk assets," he says.
Even though the average person might not be able to grasp why the rollercoaster keeps coasting up and down in scary loops and curls, one thing's for sure.
The economy is like a rollercoaster. And this is one ride Americans aren't enjoying.
This fake news report was by Lauren Palmigiano, Ryan Perez and Danny Jelinek of comedy site Funny or Die.