COLLEAGUE: John, I'm so disappointed in what Apple announced yesterday!
ME: Why?
COLLEAGUE: Because that new phone sucks! I wanted it to be something cool!
ME: It's seven times faster than the iPhone 4. It has a 1080p video camera built in.
COLLEAGUE: Yeah, but--
ME: It has artificial intelligence! A robot brain! You can talk to it and ask it to do things and it will do them for you and you don't have to type.
COLLEAGUE: I know but--
ME: Better camera! iCloud storage! You can sync without hooking up to the computer and it has built in GSM and CDMA chips - BOTH! So if you're ever sick of one carrier, you can switch to the other. And you can use it abroad even if you're not with AT&T.
COLLEAGUE: Sure, but--
ME: You can make greeting cards! They'll mail them for you!
COLLEAGUE: Look, I've had this 3GS for a while and I couldn't wait to replace it. But the iPhone 4S? 4S?
ME: If they had just called it the 5 you'd be thrilled right now, wouldn't you?
COLLEAGUE: Well... yeah.

aaaaand CURTAIN.

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