Alternate headlines:
I can't believe the news today: I'm rich!
Two investments beat as one!
I can invest with or without you!
This is not a rebel song, this is my investment!
Well, the God I believe in ain't short of cash, mister. NOR AM I.
And he's peeling off those dollar bills / Slapping them down / One hundred, two hundred / 975 MILLION!

Wearing sunglasses at all hours of the day could be the key to major financial success. That logic holds true, if you're Bono, whose investment firm, Elevation Partners, holds private shares of Facebook now valued at $975 million dollars. The shares were purchased in 2009 for $210 million (aka two platinum records), which gives the one-named wonder a tidy profit of about $800 million. A beautiful day for Bono's bank account.

Follow John Moe at @johnmoe