Suffering from ‘post-financial stress disorder’

Marketplace Staff Jul 29, 2011

Suffering from ‘post-financial stress disorder’

Marketplace Staff Jul 29, 2011

Jeremy Hobson: So it’s Friday, we’re heading into a weekend
with no idea what’s going to happen economically on the other side. Anyone else feeling a little deja vu? Well maybe we’re all still kind of shell-shocked from the financial crisis of 2008. Perhaps we could call it, “post-financial stress disorder.”

Banker: Doc, I’m so nervous all the time. I just don’t know what’s going to happen next. I feel like I’m in a James Cameron movie or something.

Psychiatrist: Tell me a little more about that.

Banker: Well, I’ve been having this dream.

Psychiatrist: The one where your wife is dressed up as your mother, and…

Banker: No! No! Not that one.

Psychiatrist: Oh.

Banker: So I see my money on a football field…

Psychiatrist: On a football field?

Banker: Yeah, and its trying to get to the goal line.

Psychiatrist: OK…

Banker: Then out of nowhere, wearing low budget uniforms, Ireland, Portugal and Greece come and try to tackle my money. And it gets hit. And I mean HARD. But then… at the 30-yard line, out of nowhere, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Groupon get in this bubble formation and start pushing my money across the 50-yard line. And nobody knows why these guys are doing so well, but they’re flying out there. But listen to this, doc: As my money starts getting a little steam, Standard & Poor gets on the loudspeaker and says it may call the game on account of rain! So now nothing’s really happening! I don’t know whether to keep my money in the game or to pull it out. So at this point Jim Cramer is screaming from the stands, Obama’s hiding in the locker room biting his nails, and China’s on the sideline threatening to suit up.

Psychiatrist: Wow, and then what happens?

Banker: Then my wife comes out on the field in my mother’s clothing, but that’s not the point.

Hobson: Wow, really opened up a can of worms there. Thanks to our skit writers, Insanitas Comedy, and to Megan Larson and Rod Abid for bringing it to life.

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