Amazon has been awarded a patent for a new way to return unwanted gifts. The current system is pretty cumbersome: you have to repackage the ugly sweater, take it to the post office, mail it back to whichever distributor Amazon was using, they have to log it, maybe return it somewhere else. Takes forever, a hassle, expensive. The new system is evil genius all the way. You tell Amazon who you might be getting gifts from who you think might not have very good taste. Then when that person sends you a gift, Amazon lets you know what would be coming, and you have the opportunity to return it PREEMPTIVELY. So the ugly sweater never arrives, the sender never knows that, and you get an Amazon gift certificate instead, you horrible, horrible monster.

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