🚗 🚙 Turn your trusty old car into trustworthy journalism Learn more
The Punchline

The Trader and St. Peter

Richard Core Nov 11, 2008

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy dressed in a very sharp suit.

“Who are you,” St. Peter asks the man in the suit, “so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?”

The guy replies, “I’m Joe Greenbucks, and until I passed away I was head of credit default swaps trading at the investment bank Dingman Robbers.”

St. Peter smiles and says, “Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

The minister steps up next. “I am Joseph Snow,” he announces, “Pastor of St. Mary’s for the last 43 years.”

St. Peter smiles and nods and says, “Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

“Just a minute,” says the minister. “That man was a trader! A worshipper of Wall Street mammon! How does he get a silken robe and golden staff but I, a minister, only get a cotton robe and wooden staff?”

“Up here, we work by results,” St. Peter says. “In a single month he brought more people to their knees and praying to God than you managed in a lifetime of preaching.”

There’s a lot happening in the world.  Through it all, Marketplace is here for you. 

You rely on Marketplace to break down the world’s events and tell you how it affects you in a fact-based, approachable way. We rely on your financial support to keep making that possible. 

Your donation today powers the independent journalism that you rely on. For just $5/month, you can help sustain Marketplace so we can keep reporting on the things that matter to you.