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Economy gives some dads a bad rap
Shadows of mother with children.
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Stacey Vanek-Smith: It seems like the recession and the unemployment rate are hitting every aspect of life these days. Divorce is no exception. As more parents feel a loss of income, many are asking family courts to adjust child support payments. The bad economy is also pushing some parents into payment delinquency, contributing to the problem of deadbeat dads.
From Boston, Monica Brady-Myerov reports.
Monica Brady-Myerov: When someone loses a job, the bills don't stop coming. Mortgage, car payments, health insurance and for some, child support. But Ned Holstein, president of Fathers and Families, a group that presents dads, says there's a big difference.
Ned Holstein: Everybody is struggling. But someone who has a child support order is the only person who's going to be put in jail, because they can't pay their debts.
That's why more parents who've lost their jobs are asking the courts to lower their child support payments. That's what's happening to Jim Feeney. He's a divorced father of four who lives on Cape Cod. Before he lost his job in January, he made about $85,000 a year. He's required to may $3,200 a month in child support and alimony. When he was laid off, he immediately asked the court if he could pay less.
Jim Feeney: First, I filed for unemployment, I filed for welfare, food stamps, because I had no income. I had no savings.
Feeney spoke about his case at a restaurant after his hearing, which he had to wait two and a half months for. The judge denied his request to lower his payments and after six months after not meeting them, Feeney was put in jail. After two days behind bars, he paid a $5,000 fine and was released. But his stint in jail didn't lower his child support obligations and the fines he's racking up because he's not paying.
Feeney: There's penalties to the state, there's penalties that go to my ex-wife, there's interest to the state, there's interest that goes to my ex-wife.
Feeney's former wife refused to comment for this story. But another ex-wife of another man who just lost his job does have something to say. She's Julie Baker, she's the primary care giver to two children, ages five and nine. Her ex was recently laid off.
Julie Baker: The first thing he said was, "I'll try to keep up the child support."
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Baker said her former husband has been a supportive dad who's always paid on time. But if the tables were turned:
Baker: If I lost my job, I can't say to the kids, "You know what? You can't have lunch today. You know what? I'm sorry that your shoes are too small."
And more out-of-work parents want to change their child support agreements. But just asking the court to lower your payments, because you lost your job, isn't always enough.
Divorce attorney B.J. Krintzman says the courts are slow moving.
B.J. Krintzman: They're not going to get very far if they go in that week and say, "I lost my job, so I can no longer pay." Usually there has to be some kind of period of time that's gone by, so the obligor has to show attempts to get a job.
Some judges are sympathetic and lower payments right away, because they know it's unlikely someone will get a new job quickly. But typically it takes six months for a judge to make a decision.
Holstein: And during those couple of months, you can be going broke in a hurry.
Ned Holstein of Fathers and Families.
Holstein: Then when you get the hearing, typically, the family court judges will not give you relief at the first hearing. They say, "Well, how do we know this is going to be long standing? You might get a job next week. Also, you've got some assets, you can pay it out of your assets. And so, I'll see you again in three more months."
But it's putting fathers who mean well and love their kids in jail, because they can't pay.
Krintzman: And this is not daddy jail; this is real jail.
But divorce attorney B.J. Krintzman says what ends up happening is dads borrow money from family and friends.
Krintzman: Usually it is very rare that someone stays in jail for 30 days. So they do find ways to find the money and pay up the back child support and get themselves out of jail.
And when they do get out of jail, they'll owe even more, because child support obligations don't stop while someone is behind bars.
In Boston, I'm Monica Brady-Myerov for Marketplace Money.
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choices. decisions. confusion. i found i was 6 weeks pregnant about two weeks ago. it was very unplanned with fiancee who who is told me he is fed up of me. after talking with my sister and friends, i decided to keep my baby. But i cant do it alone. Though i love my fiancee, he left me because of another woman. 5days ago i found a website were they talked about a spell lady who has helped several people on relations troubles and heart breaks. they placed her email there for anyone who needed her help. so i contacted the spell lady and she promised to bring him back to me in 2 days. I never really believed but i gave it a try because i needed help at all cost. she did her spell and brought my man wilshere back to me yesterday. This is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I am now going to have my baby with the father by my side. The spell lady at priestess@yahoo.com is a goddess. thanks and so much love.
life is totally dads and bad rap.
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I do not respect men who will not pay child support for their kids, but some of these payments required by the ex-husbands are a bit on the exorbitant side, to say the least. I think paying a more realistic amount should be the order of the day. If you want to maintain a more lavish lifestyle, send your kids to private school, and go on vacations, then both parents should be paying for these things equally. There are many single moms who are supporting their kids on their own, and they do not have any alimony or child support.
I was laid off and tried to get a modification in 10/11.I didn't get a court hearing until 02/12.The only reason I finally made it to court is because the mom finally agreed to show up.I was trying to survive on $117 a week out of $293 fo 5 months because I couldn't claim my child on unemployment.My child turned 18 on 9/13/12 and was emancipated 1/1/12.So I'm paying the arrears of $5400 and $2200 is interest and it keeps getting higher.I became homeless because of this. I have to go back on6/4/12 for them to raise it yet again but I get laid off again in 10/12 so I'll be screwed again and will probably become homeless again because I'm still trying to find a place to live now.The states attorney doesn't care if the fathers lived in the sewers as long as they pay child support.Paying child support is just as bad as being treated like a criminal because all these years I've been paying support.They wouldn't have postponed my court date if I was in criminal court but they did because I needed a modification on my child support.How could anybody survive on $117 a week.They just don't give a damn.
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There are a lot of different circumstances regarding child support. I do agree that women should take more responsibility for their decisions. I being a woman have supported both of my kids for the last 10 years. One of them by my current husband and another from another man. Never did I ask for child support from the other man. I have supported my daughter by myself with the help of my current husband. My husband does have to pay child support and it is extremely high for his income. I am a student and currently do not have an income so he is our main form of support. So is it fair that our children together have to suffer while his other children get to play in sports and do other activities. While she has a man there to help her with the bills and gets child support. She works and he works and she gets child support. She didn't graduate from high school. She hasn't gone to college. I'm trying to get a nursing degree to prove to my children that they can be whatever they want in life and if I can do it they can do it. In the mean time we have to struggle because of all the child support. We tried to get it reduced but were turned down...and this wasn't after him loosing his job this was after years of making a lower income because the construction industry came to a stand still after the crash of the economy. Yet the courts still take no pity on us or our children and will not lower his child support. He makes 11 dollars an hour and pays $900.00 a month. You do the math how is that fair. His ex wife had the nerve to wine to the court about how it is hard for her and she is a single mother and asked the judge not to lower his child support. Now how can you tell me its not all about the money. His ex wife ran to MS after being on drugs and having no home....mind you she did all of this illegally. She never asked the courts permission to leave. She ran because she knew we were going to take the kids from her. When we went to court the judge ruled in her favor because she cried a sad sad song about how she moved to change her life....for a better life for her kids. Men get the short end of the stick...a woman can be on drugs and not even taking care of her kids and still when the favor of the courts. This is ridiculous. I also agree with majority of women being rip off artists. His ex wife got my husband for back child support even though we had the kids half the time and he gave her money which she stated never happened so they went on her word. I hate child support I believe it is unfair and unjust. Why cant someone who pays child support write it off on their taxes?? Women get to claim the children each year that the child support pays for. There is just so many things not right about child support. I believe men need to stand up and fight for their rights which are clearly being violated.
1) Dads dont get runover by the system.They can shun whatever child they feel like. My ex got away with paying as less as possible the last 15 years. He is a correctional officer made 65000 that year and paid 300.oo a month for 15 years. How did he do it I will share. Adopt legally children from the new wife it counts as a hardship.
2) What the heck is money hungry? You NCP's here act like your paying 30,000 monthly like the stars?
3) Yes men all women have this secret code we shared in middle school that when we get older to trap the man we have been conditioned by some secret society to hate love and successful marriages with good well supported and nourished childre. We are told by the same society to get as much as we can so that we can have our nails done because that is whats important. We also love to make sure that you regret having children. no we dont want success we want you to suffer. We according to the secret society code also will push this to the point that you will hopefully commit suicide then well be happy.
4) When your money stops we women who are having our nails done stop feeding your children so please call CPS for neglect.
5)We women want to be used we like to be used as a piece of meat to have sex with like trash taking in all those STD's. We want to be the box you temporarily use until you get tired of it to trade it up for a new one. We will gladly accept being the second until you made up your mind for your chosen soulmate.
Please dont ever treat us as equals we hate that and probably will add that to the society rules to shun acknowlegement as a human. As a matter a fact we are waiting for you all to convert to Islam we like how they are treated. Please send us all over there leaving no women behind.
Theres more but I cant stop laughing.
Just one more thing hater men I hope this one thing that most of you get daughters and that they get wonderful supportive men like you.
In my 35 years on this earth, I have never posted a comment until now. I decided when I was about 12 years old that I would never have a wife or children. The women posting here are validating my decision, as women continue to do everyday. Something I've observed over time is that if the child support payments don't come or the child turns 18 and they stop coming, these malicious types of women (About 96.5 % of them, excluding babies in the womb and alzheimers patients) tend to end up destitute or insane. Most women are not good "big-picture" thinkers. Particularly the women who gleefully touts about her babies father becoming a Felon. "Yeah, he'll really get his act together and pay you that $5000 a month now." Better be carefull, ladies. What are you gonna do if he just commits suicide? You'd be amazed at what men will do; I had a friend who developed a treatable form of cancer at age 36. He decided just to put a bullit in his head, even though he could afford to pay both the child support and the medical bills. I realize now that it was the principal; he would rather be dead than continue to live supporting a child he didn't want who he never got to see and who was being trained from infancy to hate him. It's sad for the kid, but even more sad that she will blame her dead father and not her scandalous mother when she's out stripping and prostituting, charging $20 a "holler."
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