(This article first appeared in Good Luck With That magazine*)

Motorola has filed patent infringement complaints against Apple claiming everything from the app store to 3G to Apple's antenna design step on Motorola's patented innovations - 18 of them to be precise. But the suits came on the heels of a Microsoft filing against Motorola, claiming the Android violates nine of its patents.

"We have extensively licensed our industry-leading intellectual property portfolio, consisting of tens of thousands of patents in the US and worldwide," Kirk Dailey, Motorola Mobility's corporate vice president of intellectual property, said in a statement. "After Apple's late entry into the telecommunications market, we engaged in lengthy negotiations, but Apple has refused to take a license. We had no choice but to file these complaints to halt Apple's continued infringement."

Hilariously, Motorola is asking a judge to file an injunction to stop Apple selling more devices like the iPad, the iPhone, and the MacBook computer, until this can be resolved.

• There is no such magazine but there really ought to be.