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Facebook quietly launches de facto follow feature

So I noticed this last night when I was Facebook friended by one of my kids' friends. He's a nice kid but I didn't want to have that kind of relationship with him so I was ready to hit ignore. Then I noticed the "Ignore" option has been replaced by a "Not now" choice. It actually felt like a good option. I like the kid, I don't want to be rude, and by hitting "not now", I could feel like I was just procrastinating instead of rejecting.

But the implications here are kind of huge: you can't immediately refuse a friend request any more. You can just postpone accepting it.

It's a new feature on Facebook and when you go the "not now" route, it subscribes the requesting/delayed suitor to your public updates so they still feel like they're following you (obviously they don't see anything if you've set the privacy settings on your updates to Friends Only but that is still not the default). Tech Crunch writes about it:

With the Not Now button, Facebook took what was a one-step rejection and made it at least two steps -- and that's only if you want to truly block somebody (after you click the Not Now button, they ask "Don't know XXXX XXXX?" and if you click that, it will block them from making any further friend requests). If you just want to deny a person's request without blocking them, you have to go to the Requests page -- the limbo area that Facebook sends the Not Now people to. This area isn't particularly easy to find; it's buried in the Friends -> Find Friends area. In other words, it's now quite a few steps simply to reject a person's friend request as you previously could.

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John Moe is the host of Marketplace Tech Report, where he provides an insightful overview of the latest tech news.
Robin's picture
Robin - Sep 21, 2010

It seems that they just renamed "ignore" to not sound as mean. Even with ignore, you still saw that person's status updates, even if they didn't add you.

Tracie's picture
Tracie - Sep 21, 2010

Disturbing.

Sometimes, you just need to be firm and direct to get that ONE crazy person to leave you alone. You know the one I mean.

And it should be simple to get them to go away.

I'm not afraid to say no to people I haven't spoken to in decades, or to people who creep me out when I meet them at a party and then send me a Facebook friend request the next day.

Obviously there are reasons why I don't wish to speak to/get to know these people. I should have the option to say no quickly and firmly. The "deny friend request" button should be reinstated.

And there's no need to be rude and send the person a "so-and-so has denied your friend request" message. When you don't ever show up on their friend list, they'll figure it out.

ryanspublicfeed's picture
ryanspublicfeed - Sep 21, 2010

Hmm. Sounds like giving the stalkee the control over their stalker! <g> I kid.

This is a pretty good idea, actually. I have family and past friends that want to be friends with me but I'd rather not say ignore - I keep Facebook for people I actually communicate with and he and I haven't spoken since he went expat to Malaysia.