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What Mayor Bloomberg should ban next

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg looks on during a news conference on April 13, 2012 in New York City. Bloomberg recently announced plans to ban supersized sugary drinks within New York City. Writers at the web magazine Brokelyn say banning Big Gulps isn't enough.

OK, Nanny Bloomberg, what about banning flip-flops on the subway? That’ll go a long way to reducing exposure toall those unidentified liquids snaking back and forth on the No. 2 train.

Or how about the four-cheese pizza -- why does anyone need more than two? Like The National Institutes of Health says: Two cheeses, no diseases!

And e-mailing after midnight, the mayor should ban that too. All those late-hour communiqués almost always contain inadvisable emotional content. Not good for your mental health.

Why doesn't the mayor ban those mixology classes? One study showed that nine out of 10 bartending school grads go right on to calling the numbers on those work-at-home flyers.

I'd ban rainbow sprinkles. It's a non-food that is designed to make you eat other bad foods. Researchers says they increase consumption of Mr. Softee by up to 47 percent.

Speaking of overeating, what about Spanx? The mayor should ban all control-top underwear. They can lull you into thinking you're thinner than you are, and tempt you to order four-cheese pizza.

It's definitely time to put an end to those noxious taxi cab air fresheners. I read that one evergreen freshener provides four times the FDA’s recommended daily amount of artificial pine.

And then there's brunch, Bloomberg should save us from that too. Bottomless mimosas are killing our productivity. Do you know there is no word in the Chinese language for brunch?

Uh, yeah, there is.

Well, no one ever uses it because they're too busy outpacing our economy.

You know what's a real scourge on our city? ATMs with $3 fees. The data on this show these fees are the number one cause of verbal abuse directed at shop owners.

And finally, we need to stop adding “-pocalypse” and “-mageddon to everything, as in "snowpacalypse" or "tax-mageddon.” New Yorkers will be under-prepared for the actual doomsday scenario predicted for the day before Bloomberg’s term expires.

About the author

Brokelyn is a web magazine based in Brooklyn, N.Y., about living big on small change. brokelyn.com
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When do we get a ban on motorcycles loud enough to set off car alarms all up and down the street? Are the police afraid of the riders?

Kai has always struck me as rather flippant - a bit of a wise guy (I'm being polite). This piece demonstrates that perfectly. I admit that Bloomberg is an easy target and it doesn't take much creativity or intelligence to come up with this little segment. But the subject and the problem are DEADLY serious. I bet those crying Nanny State won't be very happy to pick up the health care bill coming down the pike in the next ten years.

Hey Brokelyn -- really funny and eye-opening. But why stop here? Shouldn't we make fun of the requirement that food establishments be inspected by public health officials? Where does Bloomberg and his Nanny State get off making food handlers wash their hands after using the bathroom? And why shouldn't I be able to buy inflammable pajamas for my kids, or canned food with melamine in it -- it's good enough for the Chinese isn't it? Seriously, it's not like obesity is a real public health problem or anything...

Bad, bad Bloomberg... No Super Sizes@#$&???? However, I can tell you schmart radio/internet people about the joys of diabetes. And many they are. Well, there is deteriorating eyesight and blindness! This is loads of fun. Then there is possibilty of amputation of your feet. HEY, make that TWO Super size drinks - You've been sitting at a desk all day! Then there are the pills you have to take. Pre-existing condition yhang. Drink up, New Yorkers!

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