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Letter to a toy company

A message to the toy company Melissa & Doug

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Dear Abby and Emma (the girls in my daughter's magnetic dress-up doll kit from the toy company Melissa & Doug),

I have to admit that my wife and I were a little queasy when you showed up in our house as a present for our daughter's second birthday. We tend to go for toys that aren't gender-specific. But, our daughter liked dressing you up. And it helped her fine motor skills, it helped her figure out that pants don't go on one's head. And, whatever, she's a toddler.

Plus, you were made by Melissa & Doug, the eponymous toy company that has become crazy-successful by being the progressive, wooden, faux-small-business alternative to plastic toy leviathans like Fisher Price and Mattel.

A year since your arrival, our daughter still plays with you. But, here's the thing, she's 3 now. And I've decided it's time for you two to get jobs. Because, now that she knows that pants don't go on your head, all she's learning is fashion -- which super-cute top goes best with which skirt. But, I figure work clothes are different. A firefighter's clothes are functional. She needs gloves. She needs a helmet. A doctor needs scrubs, maybe one of those old-timey head mirrors. Work clothes would inspire imaginative play and prompt questions beyond do these jeggings make my wooden butt look big?

But guess what, Abby and Emma, Melissa & Doug don't make work clothes for you. They do for these two bigger, girl dolls. But their clothes won't fit you. And yes, ballerina is technically a profession. I'm less sure about princess. There is one of the larger dolls who does have cool work clothes. His name is Joey. So, Abby and Emma, you can't be astronauts. And you can't help our daughter dream about being a scientist or a police officer either. Sorry girls. And -- while I know there is more to parenting than purchasing -- if you do talk to Melissa & Doug, if they maintain some sort of  magical, Geppeto-y psychic link to you two, can let them know that there's more to being a girl than just being girly.

Bob Moon: OK, admit it: At some point in your life, chances are you've mailed a letter to the North Pole. If not on behalf of yourself, then maybe someone in your family. The U.S. Post Office says it typically handles more than a million letters addressed to Santa Claus every December.

This year, our commentator Nate DiMeo decided to write his own letter. And it's not to the North Pole, but maybe a supplier of toys to Mr. Claus.


Nate DiMeo: Dear Abby and Emma (the girls in my daughter's magnetic dress-up doll kit from the toy company Melissa & Doug),

I have to admit that my wife and I were a little queasy when you showed up in our house as a present for our daughter's second birthday. We tend to go for toys that aren't gender-specific. But, our daughter liked dressing you up. And it helped her fine motor skills, it helped her figure out that pants don't go on one's head. And, whatever, she's a toddler.

Plus, you were made by Melissa & Doug, the eponymous toy company that has become crazy-successful by being the progressive, wooden, faux-small-business alternative to plastic toy leviathans like Fisher Price and Mattel.

A year since your arrival, our daughter still plays with you. But, here's the thing, she's 3 now. And I've decided it's time for you two to get jobs. Because, now that she knows that pants don't go on your head, all she's learning is fashion -- which super-cute top goes best with which skirt. But, I figure *ork clothes are different. A firefighter's clothes are functional. She needs gloves. She needs a helmet. A doctor needs scrubs, maybe one of those old-timey head mirrors. Work clothes would inspire imaginative play and prompt questions beyond do these jeggings make my wooden butt look big?

But guess what, Abby and Emma, Melissa & Doug don't make work clothes for you. They do for these two bigger, girl dolls. But their clothes won't fit you. And yes, ballerina is technically a profession. I'm less sure about princess. There is one of the larger dolls who does have cool work clothes. His name is Joey. So, Abby and Emma, you can't be astronauts. And you can't help our daughter dream about being a scientist or a police officer either. Sorry girls. And -- while I know there is more to parenting than purchasing -- if you do talk to Melissa & Doug, if they maintain some sort of magical, Geppeto-y psychic link to you two, can let them know that there's more to being a girl than just being girly.


Moon: Nate DiMeo is the creator of the memory palace podcast and a co-author of "Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America." Care to write your own letter? Click here and write to us.

Kathleen235's picture
Kathleen235 - Dec 24, 2011

Unjaded,
My 2 year old uses complete sentences in her play like, "I'm making waffles" and "I'm going to a meeting at work now. Love you, see you later." While it is true that a toy is just a toy, our experience is that our children learn to mimic us (specifically me and my parner) and everything they are exposed to at a very early age. So one fashion toy does not mean that a child will grow up to be shallow, or not interested in science, or a slave to narrow gender roles, but it does seem that all of the child's experiences together provide young people with a picture of what they can expect from society. These little sponges are trying to learning what possibilities are available for them at 2 and 3 and beyond. Why not try to model this the best way we can right away?

unjaded's picture
unjaded - Dec 23, 2011

To paraphrase Freud, sometimes a toy is just a toy. And While I completely agree with your viewpoint, letting your three-year old play with the toys that make her happy is most important. There will be plenty of time for you to show her that she can be whatever she wants...say when she is using complete sentances.