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Deep thoughts, by Chuck Lorre

This is just one of those random things I wanted to tell somebody about. I was watching TV last night, and at the end of the show, I saw a flash of white. I rewound the DVR and there was a card telling me the show had been censored, and I should know where to look.

Well, I didn't know where to look, except that producer Chuck Lorre's name was on this white card. Lorre produces The Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men, Dharma and Greg and some other shows. Anyway, I found his website and apparently, he does this all the time. He slides little "vanity cards" into the end of each show, and you have to stop the DVR to be able to read them. The one I saw (#251c) led me to a card that said a joke had been taken out by CBS:

Now please understand, I'm not bringing this up because I'm upset about our show being censored. I'm way past that. Waste of time and energy. No, I just wanted my vanity card readers to know that they can influence the content of CBS, or any of the major networks, by simply making the appropriate executives unhappy. It's simple: flood the network with angry form letters and/or emails, demand a meeting, threaten a boycott of their advertisers, then have fun making the creative choices that best suit your tastes.

Nice. Lorre has more than 250 of these cards on his website. Here's one that really struck a chord with me because it's one of my pet peeves:

More and more, it seems like people are yelling at me. This is especially noticeable on local and cable news, TV and radio ads, morning, afternoon and late night talk shows, religious channels, entertainment tabloid shows, and, NPR aside, radio.

It's almost as if all the news anchors, reporters, product pitchmen, talk show hosts, politicians, sportscasters, DJ's and preachers have forgotten how good modern microphones are. Regardless, the purpose of vanity cards is not just to point out the problem, it's also to propose the solution.

And here's one: The Whisper Channel. A cable news channel where everyone, including advertisers, speaks in gentle, dulcet tones. Our marketing tag line will be one word, "shhh." Instead of grinning, shouting, overly-coiffed failed actors, our news anchors will be regular folks with beautiful speaking voices who, just to be on the safe side, have been heavily sedated.... ALTERNATE MARKETING TAG LINE:

the whisper channel...
where human civilization sliding into the abyss
is nothing to shout about.

Amen.

This one's great, too. It made me think of ... well, I think you can figure it out:

The Buddha taught that the first principle of existence is impermanence.
Absolutely everything in this universe is impermanent.
Impermanence creates uncertainty.
I don't know about you, but I have a very low tolerance for uncertainty.
Uncertainty causes me discomfort.
Discomfort causes me to think stupid things.
Stupid thoughts cause me to take stupid actions.
My stupid actions bring about unfortunate results.
Luckily, the unfortunate results are impermanent.
Is this a great universe or what?

About the author

steve bauer's picture
steve bauer - Aug 13, 2009

How fun, and enlightening... If I may wax *just a little* about something imho is parallel to the idea of these cards.
While living in the dorms in college we used dry erase boards on our doors; I'd typically have a haiku, W.O.P.O.T.D., deep(or shallow) thought, pet-peeve(sp), or note to others where I've gone to. The W.O.P.O.T.D. became a routine on my LJ account in its early days too.

This story made me smile and laugh but, Scott the Buddha impermanence card you listed above should give you comfort while passively deleting the potentially offending emails. Then opening a quiet game of cards from the desktop. :>) Or are you a chess type of guy?

3than's picture
3than - Aug 13, 2009

Wow, you learn something new everyday. I've never seen a vanity card; I will have to look for them now.

I also I learned that if you want to get rid of a cat, "slap some soy sauce on it and drop it off in Koreatown."

Now that is funny!

Scott Jagow's picture
Scott Jagow - Aug 13, 2009

Great, now I'm going to get an avalanche of angry emails... :)

Ron NV's picture
Ron NV - Aug 12, 2009

I would probably disagree with Chuck Lorre on many issues but there is no doubt that he is up there with the genius writers. I would never question his talent. I'm one of those who does stop the DVR to read his vanity cards. As you point out, the wit and wisdom in that brief message is fascinating.