Peak beard theory
The Pirate BlackBeard, at peak beard.
An actual academic study in the journal Biology Letters says, basically, "the more men who have beards...the less attractive those beards are."
It's called "negative frequency-dependent preferences and variation in male facial hair," and in plain language, it means: "We've reached peak beard. It's time for beards to go out of fashion."
To which I say: Amen, brother. I'm the clean cut type -- I wouldn't look good with a beard, even if I could grow one....