The Punchline - Most Recent
Shortening airline routes, reducing frequent flier miles
Know how packages at the grocery keep getting smaller and sold at the same price? It appears one of the airlines is doing that with the planet Earth.
The Houston Chronicle says now that United and Continental have merged, some frequent fliers are complaining they're earning a little less mileage on certain routes.
One guy noticed Houston to London is 32 miles shorter -- and shorter equals less frequent flier credit. United says there were increases and decreases but they're small.
Maybe airlines should go the whole hog and quietly switch from statute to nautical miles. Wait... maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud.
A thank you note of epic proportions
And finally, to Austin, Texas, where a weatherman named Albert Ramon stopped by a fourth grade classroom to talk about his job.
And his lecture was so riveting that a student wrote him a thank-you note of epic proportions.
Here it is:
Dear Mr. Ramon,
Thank you for coming to our school and teaching us about the weather.
Some day when I become supreme Ultra-Lord of the universe, you will live in my 200-story castle where unicorn servants will
feed you doughnuts off their horns.
You're more awesome than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made out of bacon riding a cyborg unicorn. And in case you didn't know, that's pretty dang sweet.
In Los Angeles, looking for my doughnut-serving unicorn.
Got chocolate milk?
And finally, can you guess what's being marketed as "nature's recovery drink?"
Here's a hint: it's a new ad campaign from the dairy industry group behind those "Got Milk?" ads. A long list of athletes will be praising the benefits of chocolate milk.
Here's a sample:
Ad 1: After I've gone to hell and back, I refuel with chocolate milk.
Ad 2: To replenish critical nutrients, and for high-quality protein.
The ads cite an industry-sponsored study that found recreational runners who drank fat-free chocolate milk ended up running 23 percent longer, compared to those who drank carbohydrate sports drinks. Some nutrition experts say the industry is really pushing chocolate milk because consumption has been dropping since many school districts have soured on it.
Miss Seattle takes back her anti-Seattle comments
To Seattle, where there's a controversy going on involving the woman who just won the Miss Seattle pageant.
Apparently back in December, she tweeted: "Ugh, can't stand cold rainy Seattle and the annoying people."
Now she says she didn't mean it.
Though it might be tough to prove that, because another tweet said, "Ew. I am seriously hating Seattle right now."
In fairness to her, she used to be Miss Phoenix -- where they have slightly different weather.
Happy 100th Birthday, Oreo
Let me take you back exactly 100 years, to 1912.
Back then, the now debt-stricken Ireland was excited about having built the Titanic.
Here in this country, today's key super tuesday state of Ohio was carried by Theodore Roosevelt in the Republican primary.
And on March 6th, 1912, the National Biscuit Company -- Nabisco -- unveiled the Oreo Cookie.
These days, the Oreo accounts for $2 billion in annual sales.