The Punchline - Most Recent


Shortening airline routes, reducing frequent flier miles

Know how packages at the grocery keep getting smaller and sold at the same price? It appears one of the airlines is doing that with the planet Earth.

The Houston Chronicle says now that United and Continental have merged, some frequent fliers are complaining they're earning a little less mileage on certain routes.

One guy noticed Houston to London is 32 miles shorter -- and shorter equals less frequent flier credit. United says there were increases and decreases but they're small.

Maybe airlines should go the whole hog and quietly switch from statute to nautical miles. Wait... maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud.

Mar 15, 2012

A thank you note of epic proportions

And finally, to Austin, Texas, where a weatherman named Albert Ramon stopped by a fourth grade classroom to talk about his job.

And his lecture was so riveting that a student wrote him a thank-you note of epic proportions.

Here it is:

Dear Mr. Ramon,

Thank you for coming  to our school and teaching us about the weather.

Some day when I become supreme Ultra-Lord of the universe, you will live in my 200-story castle where unicorn servants will
feed you doughnuts off their horns.

He continues:

You're more awesome than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made out of bacon riding a cyborg unicorn. And in case you didn't know, that's pretty dang sweet.

In Los Angeles, looking for my doughnut-serving unicorn.

Mar 15, 2012

Got chocolate milk?

And finally, can you guess what's being marketed as "nature's recovery drink?"

Here's a hint:  it's a new ad campaign from the dairy industry group behind those "Got Milk?" ads. A long list of athletes will be praising the benefits of chocolate milk.

Here's a sample:

Ad 1: After I've gone to hell and back, I refuel with chocolate milk.

Ad 2: To replenish critical nutrients, and for high-quality protein.

The ads cite an industry-sponsored study that found recreational runners who drank fat-free chocolate milk ended up running 23 percent longer, compared to those who drank carbohydrate sports drinks. Some nutrition experts say the industry is really pushing chocolate milk because consumption has been dropping since many school districts have soured on it.

Mar 8, 2012

Miss Seattle takes back her anti-Seattle comments

To Seattle, where there's a controversy going on involving the woman who just won the Miss Seattle pageant.

Apparently back in December, she tweeted: "Ugh, can't stand cold rainy Seattle and the annoying people."

Now she says she didn't mean it.

Though it might be tough to prove that, because another tweet said,  "Ew. I am seriously hating Seattle right now."

In fairness to her, she used to be Miss Phoenix -- where they have slightly different weather.

Mar 7, 2012

Happy 100th Birthday, Oreo

Let me take you back exactly 100 years, to 1912.

Back then, the now debt-stricken Ireland was excited about having built the Titanic.

Here in this country, today's key super tuesday state of Ohio was carried by Theodore Roosevelt in the Republican primary.

And on March 6th, 1912, the National Biscuit Company -- Nabisco -- unveiled the Oreo Cookie.

These days, the Oreo accounts for $2 billion in annual sales.

Mar 6, 2012

Michigander, Michiganians or Michiganites?

Feb 28, 2012
What do people from Michigan prefer to be called?
Posted In: Michigan

NASA in the market for some good eaters

Feb 22, 2012
The agency wants to figure out how it would feed astronauts on any future mission to Mars, so it needs people to try to cook and eat astronaut food for four long months.
Posted In: NASA, space, Food

Deceased dog gets credit card offer

Feb 20, 2012
In Ontario, Canada, one dog has a credit offer most of us can only dream of.
Posted In: Credit card, dog

Michigan town takes school zone sign to the next level

Feb 16, 2012
In suburban Detroit, there's a speed limit sign telling drivers to slow down to 25 mph on school days -- but it's a little different than the signs you might be used to seeing in your neighborhood.
Posted In: School, Michigan

What animals are predicting for the Super Bowl

Jan 30, 2012
Animals across the country are predicting who will win this year's Super Bowl.
Posted In: football, Super Bowl, animals



About this collection

It's good to have a laugh or chuckle amid all the news about this troubled economic time. So, we're posting some of the best humor we can find from the Web and your suggestions. We hope the jokes and items below lighten your load. Keep smiling!